This thing that binds us (REWRITTEN)
by GygyFr
Summary: AU to season 3 finale/ season 4 premiere. Matt had been kidnapped by Nesbitt and his men. What happened during the four days of his captivity? How Matt and his family endured this? How will they get back to the daily routine together and how to deal with the consequences of this tragic event? Rated M for some chapters (CAREFUL!)
1. Explications (AN)

HELLO MY DEAR FANS!

I am truly sorry, I know I promised to continue the first version of TTTBU, but I no longer had inspiration. This time, I am free to modify what I have written down and I can write something else. I hope you're not mad and will follow this story like you followed the first version (I have some surprise for you).

I said I've modified the story, and it's true. I will begin where the season 3 finale stopped (and not like the first version four days later). Two chapters represent one day, one chapter with Matt and his jailers and the other with his family and the case.

 **SYNOPSIS:** **Matt had been kidnapped by Nesbitt and his men. What happened during the four days of his captivity? How Matt and his family endured this? How will they get back to the daily routine together and how to deal with the consequences of this tragic event?**

 **DISCLAIMERS: I don't own any characters appearing in OneChicago.**

I hope you will like, because I worked hard to write this second version. And I hope in reading reviews from you ^^

I tried to write with the least possible mistakes (there will be some I guess, but I did my best).


	2. Day 1: missing

As promised, here is the first chapter.

I hope you will like!

* * *

 **Day 1 : Missing**

Gabby just discovered the unthinkable in the kitchen of the apartment shared by Kelly and Matt. There was this woman lying on the ground with her eyes wide open, covered by the blood. Panicked, she rushed to this blond inert woman on the flooring to take her pulse. But even after many seconds, holding her breath, she found any. Without thinking, she applied her hands on her chest and began to do CPR. The more she massed, the more her hands stained bright red, the more nausea she had since she had entered the kitchen became strong. A vicious circle. She inhaled deeply and ended holding her breath again, hoping to calm this increasing urge to throw up. After two long and terrifying minutes, nothing had changed. This woman was still pale, her eyes up to the ceiling. Gabby had understood, but she wanted to continue. She was in Matt's apartment and it was for a good reason. She was obviously linked to this undercover job Matt was leading with Antonio and Voight. She searched her phone on the right pocket of her pants, still doing CPR this unknown woman's chest with her left fist, dialing the number of her brother with her other hand. Her bloody hands. She stuck her phone between her ear and her shoulder, desperately waiting for an pick up from Antonio. What seemed hours passed in a fraction of seconds, and her brother answered.

"Hey sis..."

"Antonio!" she interrupted him suddenly, taking back the phone in her right hand. "Tonio, I think Casey is in trouble!"

"Oah, oah slow down! What it's happening?"

"Uh..."

Gabby stopped the vain CPR, and threw a look to the rest of her body.

"I'm at his place, and... And, uh... O-one of the girl from the strip-club she's here... She's been shot."

One last time, just one last time, Gabby checked with two of her fingers whether there was a cardiac activity or not, but it wasn't the case. She closed her eyes, flopping herself on her legs and sighing.

"She's dead, I don't know where Casey is...", she said sadly.

"Ok, we got a pin in his phone. Hang tight."

She passed her forearm on her face as to wipe the sweat she felt pouring but couldn't fall. It was only fear and worry for Matt, the man she loved.

"Okay", she murmured before hanging up.

She had confidence in her brother, she knew he would find him. Because he had promised to look after Matt, and Matt had also promised to be careful. But she had a terrible foreboding haunting her. Something was wrong and was going to happen, she was sure. She thought, closing her eyes and trying to focus on where Matt could be. Her first idea was to go to the strip club, the one where Matt worked for Voight and her brother.

* * *

At the 21st district, everyone was in a hurry. Voight and Antonio were putting some pressure on Mouse so that he could trace the pin on Matt's phone as soon as possible. Because very second, every minute was reducing his chance of survival if he had been kidnapped.

"I got something!"

All stopped their job, looking Mouse break into the room with his computer in hand, running straight to Voight's office. He entered without a knock, startling Antonio and his superior.

"I got him. He's at the club!"

Without crossing their gaze, Antonio and Voight stormed out, asking to five cops to follow them.

"Take the heavy weapons!" Hank cried to Antonio, who ran to take some assault guns.

Once inside the car, the sergeant started the car by squealing tires, steering to the strip club, followed by another vehicle, every sirens screaming. Antonio loaded his gun, ready to fight with the Bulgarians and that piece of shit who was Nesbitt. Once in some ways parked outside the building, they went out, Antonio to the outposts, Voight behind to cover everyone. He shoved the door unceremoniously, his eyes filled with anger and hatred. A man burst in front of them halting them. It was Nesbitt.

"Hello gentlemen. May I help you?"

He seemed so innocent while Antonio knew that he was guilty. He grabbed him by the neck, pinned him on one of the walls and lifted him a few inches. This made Nesbitt laugh. Louder, increasing this hatred felt by Antonio. He lifted him a bit more, almost choking him.

"Listen to me son of a bitch! Tell me where Casey is! Now!"

"I-I... Don't know what you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Antonio exclaimed, squeezing a little more his grip on his neck.

Voight arrived at the same time, shouting at Antonio to release him. But he wasn't listening.

"Antonio! If you do this, we'll never see Casey again!"

Although it didn't help to calm him down, Voight was right. Kill Nesbitt right here, right now wouldn't bring Casey back, quite the contrary. It condemned him. Still so hateful toward this former firefighter, he let him touch the ground for the first time in two minutes, releasing his neck. Nesbitt passed his hands over, rubbing the sensitive area.

"You should put a muzzle on your dog!"

It was too much. Antonio turned suddenly, throwing some big punches in Jack's stomach, without the latter could move a finger, cutting off his breath in passing. He spat blood, taking back this lost breath while Voight was trying to resonate Antonio, even though he knew he wouldn't totally succeed. One of the cops handcuffed the boss of the strip club and all got out of the building. Outside, Gabby was waiting for them. She had wanted to enter, but when she had seen cars and flashing lights, she stopped short in her run towards the entrance of the club and prudently decided to wait outside. She straightened on seeing Antonio and Voight, took a deep breath and advanced towards them.

"You found Matt?"

None of the two men uttered a word. Gabby understood immediately that they didn't. They didn't have Matt with them. She took another deep breath and slapped Voight with all her strength. Tears were profusely rolling over her cheeks. She was out of herself, scared, but mostly full of rancor.

"You got him in there! If something happens to him, the least bruises, anything, even a broken nail! I will take care of you! You got it!"

"Gabby..."

Antonio took gently her arm to not abrupt her and make her turn to him.

"Let go of me! You too Antonio! You came to see him first, he said no! You played on him! I'll never forgive you! Never, you hear me!"

She turned, going to her car and leaving the scene as fast as she'd come. Voight was passing his hand over his jaw while Antonio remained frozen.

"She ate a lion?" the sergeant asked carefully.

"Matt... Matt is all her life. Pulling Casey out of her hands, it means killing her", he tried to justify his sister. "She's right, we pushed Casey to help us by playing on his behavior, his personality. If something happens to him, she won't forgive me and I won't forgive myself either".

He left the club, going back to the district and unlocking Nesbitt into the cage rather than an interrogation room.

* * *

Gabby was crying endlessly. The man she had always loved was missing and it was frightening her. Where he was? Was he kidnapped? There was a fight in this apartment, she was sure. She sighed, trying to clear her head, trying in vain to take this picture out of her brain, the picture of this dead woman in the kitchen. It drove her crazy. She inhaled fresh air and went once again to Matt's apartment. She parked, moving unsteadily toward the still open door, entering as if nothing had happened. She sat on the sofa, her legs up on her and squeezing them against her chest, plunging her head in his legs to form a cocoon. And she began to cry, again. She couldn't believe this, as if one of her worst nightmare had become true. In this second state, she didn't hear the police arrive, she didn't hear her brother draw his gun and open the door slowly. She didn't hear him scream, yell her name in seeing her in this state on that couch she had chosen with Matt. She didn't hear him drop his gun and put his hand on her icy arms, worried about his sister. Finally feeling the heat contrast between his hands and her's, she gasped, looking up and meeting Antonio's eyes.

"Gabby, you okay?"

She didn't reply, too shocked to talk. She looked away, gazing at the kitchen floor where the body of this blonde was rested. Understanding what she was looking at, he put one of his hands on her cheek to keep her from contemplating this terrible scene.

"Gabby?"

She still didn't reply, closing her eyes and plunging back her head in her legs, protecting herself from what was around her. Antonio glanced at the room: It was a total mess.

"It'll be fine Gabby", he said calmly to not annoy his sister.

"Gabby, I need to know what exactly happened here. It could help us to find Casey."

She got out of her thoughts, straightening once again her head, but avoiding the looks of the two men in front of her.

"Uh, I... I-I don't know", she admitted in a whisper. "I... I knocked, I... I needed to see Matt, but... T-the door was open and... And I-I found the apartment like this and... And this... This dead woman in the kitchen..."

All the tears of her body got out of her eyes, although she didn't hold them before. It was beyond her strength, as if she no longer had control of her emotions.

"You didn't touch anything?"

She froze for a brief moment before shaking her head from side to side while closing her eyes without a word. She still had her head covered with blood, but it was dry now. Antonio understood that the instinct of Gabby had taken over her other emotions and had first tried to revive Katya. He decided not to talk about this sensitive subject while showing to Voight his sister's hands at the same time. He understood as well and said nothing.

"Where is Severide?"

Gabby gazed at her brother again.

"I don't know. I saw him earlier at Molly's when I was working."

"And, uh... Why you wanted to see Matt? You told us that you wanted to see him."

"Yeah, uh... I... It has nothing to do with what happened here."

Antonio suspected something, but he didn't go further. He knew his sister perfectly, he knew that she was hiding something.

"Tonio... Tell me this has nothing to do with the undercover job..."

Antonio sighed and sat near his young sister in the couch. She knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from her brother.

"I am sorry, but it has. This woman... Her name was Katya and she worked at the strip club. Matt told us that she wanted to leave this job and start a new life far away from this hell. She helped Matt to find information about the human trafficking and written everything down in a notebook. That's why the Bulgarians took Matt: he knows where the notebook is. He's the only one who knows now."

She looked closely at her brother, and the more he was talking about this story, the more her eyes lit up with anger.

"Then... What happened is really your fault..."

"Gabby..."

"No! You told me you had his back, YOU had his back! You promised! And now, he's missing! It's your fault! YOUR fault!" she said, pointing to her brother. "Yours too!"

Having risen sharply, She sat back on the couch, still crying.

"Gabby... You should call Kelly", Antonio tried.

She closed her eyes, calming down a little and nodded.

"Yeah, I know."

She grabbed her phone, dialing Kelly's number this time. The screen was full of blood as well, cried blood. She placed it to her ear and waited.

"Kelly Severide."

Gabby inhaled, trying to stay calm, taking the less trembling voice possible.

"Kelly, it's Gabby. I need you. Immediately."

"Gabby? What is it? What's going on?"

"Just... Come back home. Please."

She was whispering not to make her voice tremble and not to cry on the phone.

"Okay. I'm on my way."

"Oh, uh... Don't panic when you arrive."

She hung up, not waiting for an answer. Five minutes later, Kelly understood what Gabby meant on the phone. When he saw the cops turning around the building, he knew something was wrong. He ran across the street to enter in the apartment and found Gabby, Antonio, Voight and a dozen cops.

"Kelly..."

Gabby jumped and fell into Kelly's arms, hugging him against her as hard as she could. She was crying, he could feel his shirt getting wet pretty quickly. Kelly didn't know what to do or what to say. But the look she had before throwing on him... He was concerned, and then looked at Antonio.

"Antonio, what is going on? Why are you here?"

Antonio's eyes were sufficient. It wasn't good at all.

"Matt is missing. And Gabby found a dead body in the kitchen. One of the srip club."

"Oh... God..."

He ran his hands through his hair while closing his eyes.

"Tell me it's a joke. It's a joke, right?"

"I would have liked to, but... No. It's all real."

He shook his head. He couldn't believe it. Not at all.

"And, uh... You have... Clues? Something?"

"Not yet. But we'll find him. We have Nesbitt in the cage, we'll cook him. He will tell us where Casey is."

"You better have to! Matt worked for you because he wanted to help this woman!" he finally said, pointing to the dead body. "She came once, while Matt was out, she wanted to talk to him. So, she talked to me. She said that she didn't want this life anymore and she knew that Matt was working for you! She knew! She wanted to help Matt because he promised a new life to her!"

"Kelly, try to stay calm", Voight stated.

"How dare you! You put it on this case for YOU! If something happens to him..."

"We'll find him. In one piece and alive. We promise, Kelly", Antonio assured.

He closed his eyes again, sighing deeply. He wanted to believe this. But deep down, he knew that something bad happened to his best friend.

"We... We had an argument last night... About one of our colleagues. I told him he was wrong, but he was right... I didn't have time to apologize..."

"Kelly, we will find him. Don't worry."

"And if he's already dead, uh? If... If we never find him? You haven't thought about this!"

"Kelly, we just told you. We will do everything to find him. We call everyone, our informers, our agents, everyone", Antonio confirmed.

"I will work with my informers as well. Casey and me weren't really friends, but it's my fault he was undercover, and I will get him out. I owe him this one."

"You informers? The one for your dirty things?"

"Not like this, just to know if they know something about this Jack Nesbitt and his men, and find some useful information. It's a personal case. I will talk to the headquarters. From what I understood, Nesbitt was a former firefighter, and he quit to run this strip club. Every information about him and his men can lead us to Casey."

Kelly said nothing. He couldn't. He nodded, simply.

"Do you know where to sleep for tonight? You can't stay here."

He shook his head, and Gabby grabbed his shoulder.

"Come with me at Brett's. We have a couch. Not comfy, but it's better than the streets."

"Thanks... Can I... Take some stuffs?"

Antonio authorized Kelly to go in his bedroom for a few minutes. Five minutes later, he arrived in the living room with stuffs. Antonio and Voight let them go, but they needed their statements. This nightmare was far from the end...

* * *

 **A/N: You liked this? The next chapter is taken place the same day, at the same moment, but for Matt's POV :D**


	3. Day 1: the beginning

Hi everyone!

I am sorry, I didn't update any of my stories for too long. I had a lot of work during these past few days, and I will have even more before the end of holidays: preparing to move away from home sucks.

Anyway, I've decided to translate this chapter and share it with you. I hope I have written with no mistakes this time.

And I will answer to your reviews:

 **Justicerocks:** Yes, she has every right to blame Antonio. He played with Matt and especially his ethics. And I am glad you liked my writing ^^

 **jewel2687:** I added more details and included emotions/feelings in this story specifically BECAUSE the show hadn't let us see more of Gabby's reaction. And it's not over (obviously)

 **Michelle:** You really imagine it should have happened in the show? No problem, I wished to as well :D (what a cruel thought). And I am glad you liked this

 **Edelmira Gil:** I can't speak Spanish (yet) and I have to use a translator, but I am glad you liked this chapter. You will love this one then

 **texterlover:** I really like this story too, that's why I decided to change the first version of 3TBU for this one ^^ I have more inspiration, you will understand what Matt went through etc...

It is time to read now. Enjoy it!

* * *

 **Day 1: the beginning**

Matt didn't know where he was. He only could feel that he was in a dark, cold and stinking room. Yes, stinking humidity. A foul odor stormed his nose. This odor made him sick, to the point of making a huge effort to swallow his saliva to avoid vomiting. Suddenly, images invaded his mind. Katya. Had he dreamed? These guys had really killed her before his eyes? She was dead, he had felt it when he had thrown at her to press the wound, he felt her soul leave her body and her heart die slowly. These images of Katya dying in his arms made him sicker. How Nesbitt could have accepted that? How he could have allowed Oleg pointing his gun at her and shooting her in the chest without an ounce of hesitation and remorse? Shouting that she would never have done that. What did this mean? She had no right to do anything? She had no right to escape from the grip of Nesbitt? All this awful nightmare? Matt tried to move, but he soon felt something around his wrists and ankles. He was tied up. He tried to struggle, but a sharp pain stopped him and crawled along his spine. Something had just cut his wrists and he could feel his blood flow and fall on the wet ground. The smell of his own blood came to his nose, mixing with the stench of humidity he wanted to suppress. But he was no longer able to do this. In a hasty move, he got to his knees without opening his eyes, and threw up the content of his stomach on the bare floor. Until there was only bile coming out. Everything was burning. Everything. A jackhammer was banging in his head as he collapsed to the ground, trying to move as little as possible, his whole body was shivering. Suddenly, the door opened in a dull cacophony. He forced himself to open his eyes, gradually accustoming them to the lack of light. It wasn't Jack Nesbitt, he was sure.

"Back in the land of the living?"

this accent, this voice, it was Oleg. Matt didn't reply, he didn't want to.

"You have made friends with barbed wires and played with them!"

Barbed wires. This horrible thing had entered his flesh.

"You move too much, and you cut your radial arteries. One way to escape us, but I don't think you have enough guts to do that. Am I right? Well, not yet."

Oleg slowly walked toward Matt, kneeling in from of him.

"On your knees."

Matt didn't move an inch, he couldn't without feeling any pain. And he didn't want to feel this pain, not now, not today.

"I said: on your knees."

Reluctantly, Matt obeyed without a word. He slowly, hardly and painfully got on his knees, still struggling against this urge to vomit, then began to straighten. Without mercy, Oleg struck him a violent kick in his stomach. He fell back on his knees in a crash, making Matt wince. He swallowed hard his iron saliva.

"I never said get up."

He stood there, not moving, he went back up to Matt and smiled.

"I need a special information, Matt. And you're the only one who knows now."

He still didn't move, his eyes still closed. He thought: the notebook.

"Why did you betray us?"

Matt still didn't move or look at Oleg. He understood what he meant, but didn't react.

"You talked to the policemen at your firehouse! What did you say to them!"

But Matt remained silent. He wouldn't talk. The urge to vomit was too important to open his mouth.

"I won't repeat the question twice."

Matt continued to stand up to Oleg. He was looking for trouble, but he didn't want to throw up on him. He heard then Oleg sigh and get up.

"Alright. I have plenty of time here. You have not. But it is no big deal. I am very, very patient. I will come back in an hour, to see whether you changed your mind or not. And if it's not the case, I will take care of you."

Matt heard the door close by making this same horrible noise. Matt felt then tears burning his eyes, then his cheeks, and falling on the contaminated soil. Deep down, he knew that this nightmare wasn't over, and that he had to find a way or another to escape. The only thing he had in mind at this precise moment was to talk to himself. As a hallucination.

 _You've never given up, never. Each time you were ready to explode, you reacted. You took a step back, you turned and went ahead. You succeeded to get out of this! You can get out of this again!_

But Matt was stuck here, tied up, undoubtedly tortured soon, probably to death, so how to cope, how to get beyond that?

 _Gabby. She helped you after Hallie's death. Kelly helped you too. They all were there for you. No matter what, when, how and why, he will all be there you, always. You can't give up, you have no right._

His own voice invaded his mind, this inner voice was right. If he was still alive, it was because he had held on to Gabby, he had held on to her after his first love's death. He still had to hold on. At least, try. The door opened again, creaking even more than the first time.

"The hour is over. You changed your mind?"

He didn't see the time pass. He hadn't moved, tears had dried long time ago. Everything happened so fast when speaking to oneself.

"Have you thought about what I said earlier?"

Matt hadn't even thought about. He had just thought about how to mentally get out of this. Paralyzed by both fear and pain, he didn't allow himself to talk.

"I presume you don't want to talk to me. But you will. You don't even know what I am able to do... Not yet."

Matt didn't blink. He remained still, fixing the ground, avoiding the angry look from Oleg. The latter kneeled, grabbing Matt's chin and turning his head toward him to look at him. Finally, he allowed himself to look him in the eye, trying to show him that he wasn't afraid while he was terrified.

"I will make you swallow your pride. Trust me."

He dropped Matt's head, put his hand in the other and cracked his fingers. Matt was right: he was going to be tortured.

 _Think about what I said earlier. Don't give up. Otherwise, what you did to save Katya will be in vain._

But Katya died in his arms. He was powerless to save her, he did nothing. What should he do to survive?

 _You must speak in no case. If you talk, the girls and your friends will be in danger. Gabby will be in mortal danger._

He didn't have the right to talk, it was a certainty. If he talked, it was over. His family, his friends, the girls, himself. Stay alive as long as possible to allow someone to find him was his best option.

 _That's it. You have to hold on. As you always do. You did this when your father abused you, when he abused your mom, when your mom killed your dad. You did this when Hallie broke up with you, when she died, when Andy died, when Shay died, when Kelly needed you. And each time, you held up and turned the corner, then don't give up. If you don't do this for you, do this for the girls. For Katya._

"It is time to start, Matt. It is time to talk."

But Matt wasn't in the mood to talk, he thought back to what the man in front of him had done. He reproduced the scene in his mind over and over, changing scenarios but, each time, he couldn't save Katya. In vain. Without noticing it, two men had come to help Oleg, cracking their fingers. Without a sound, without blinking, Matt gritted his teeth inwardly.

"Get him up and tie him to the chair."

A new wave of nausea had overwhelmed him, he decided to shut his eyes again and swallow the little saliva his mouth still managed to produce. He felt trapped by these two hulks he had seen earlier, be raised and seated on a chair. They undid the ties to his wrists and ankles, but he couldn't fight. They then tied each member on the chair, avoiding any of his movements. He opened his burning eyes, at least to see what was going on, not to seem frightened by Oleg, to show him that he was strong.

"I will destroy you, Matthew Casey."

Without warning, he received a huge punch in the face, on his cheek. He felt his jaw slightly crack under pressure, but he said nothing, he didn't even narrowed his eyes in pain. Nothing.

"Where. Is. The notebook?"

Suddenly, Matt heard himself laugh. Why he was laughing, he didn't know. Was it nervous, maybe it was the pain, maybe it was reckless. He raised his head, opened fully his eyes, and faced Oleg's glare.

"You will never find it."

In this sentence, a fist came knocking again his jaw, but on the other side. Matt opened his mouth, still feeling his jaw crack. He knew that whatever he was going to do, he would be tortured. So, Matt decided to make the game more... Fun for him, and most irritating to his tormentor.

"Could you knock my left cheek again please? My jaw is still not replaced."

But Oleg smiled and took his chin.

"I won't give you this pleasure, Casey. Not yet. If you don't talk under physical torture... Maybe mental torture will help you to loosen your tongue?"

Matt didn't really know what he meant, so he said nothing.

"Untie him and suspend him from a rope. We are going to give some news to his friends."

Matt hid in plain sight the terror that had just invaded him. They were really going to tie him like an animal, to suspend him like he was going to the slaughter, torture him while taking videos? It was a nightmare for Matt.

 _You have to hold on, to Gabby. To all your friends, to your family. If you talk, you're dead, and you will never see them again._

The two men grabbed him, loosened his bonds and got him up without even taking care of him. Then, they tied him from the rope hanging slightly over his head. His arms were on fire, he hardly touched the ground with his toes. Oleg smiled briefly when he took over the camera and lit it. He closed his eyes and waited.

"Say hello to the camera, Matthew Casey."

He didn't reply, he didn't raise his head. He didn't want to make him that pleasure. Oleg gave a nod to one of his guys, who straightened violently Matt's head to make sure that it was facing the camera. He tried to struggle, in vain. The men were too strong for him.

"So, Casey. I will ask my question again. Where. Is. The notebook?"

Matt decided to stand up to his tormentors. He smiled, raising his head.

"I will give my answer again: you will never find it."

As recompense, Matt received a huge punch in the stomach. He gritted his teeth, frowning, but he didn't cry out.

"I need this information, Matt."

"I need you... To wash your mouth... You reek from the mouth."

Once again, Matt received several punches, this time well placed on the stomach and above. He felt one of his ribs crack.

"I won't ask a third time."

He continued to grind his teeth, but straightened his head again to face Oleg.

"And I won't give my answer a third time either."

Oleg smiled from the corner of his mouth. He bent down, then grabbed an iron bar and turned around Matt. He stopped behind him, took a momentum and struck him blows on the back. The beating was so powerful, Matt couldn't hold back his screaming. Each blow was stronger as the previous one, his cries became increasingly stronger and strident, resonating in the room and making Oleg and his henchmen laugh.

"Still nothing?"

Matt could no longer bear this situation, but he knew it wasn't going to stop, even if he talked.

 _You have to hold on, not for you. But for your friends, for your family. For the girls. You don't have the right to falter, it would mean that the dream of Katya and her efforts will have been wasted._

Matt had to stay strong. He had to hold on, even if it was going to last days, he had to hold on.

"Well... My back is still scratching, just below my shoulder blades. May you..."

Oleg smiled, then laughed. Matt heard him move away. It was over. Or at least, he had hoped. A huge blow woke him up, making him howl in pain. This pain was so big, his body was covered with spasms, making him shake as never. He felt something flow slowly in his back, then fall to the ground. What had fallen mingled with the putrid water of the frozen ground, and Matt realized then that what was running through his back was his own blood. Oleg had hit him so hard that he had come to make him bleed.

"I will make you swallow your pride. Matthew Casey."

At this moment, the nightmare continued for Matt. Oleg hit him, again and again. With this iron bar, stronger. He didn't count the blows, or rather, he stopped counting them because there were too many. Sometimes, he heard another of his ribs crack, another time he felt his muscles twist in all directions. The pain was so strong now, Matt decided to play dead, so that Oleg stop hitting him. He lowered his head, holding his cries and tears to not attract attention. After two minutes of blows without interruption, Oleg stopped hitting him. Matt heard him laugh.

"If he loses consciousness with this, he won't last long."

Inwardly, Matt laughed. He was firmly determined to prove him wrong. He was going to hold on. He had to. For Gabby. For Katya. He didn't want her death to stay unpunished, but above all, in vain.

"Come on, untie him. And bound his wrists and ankles. We will come back in a few hours."

He then felt the men untie him and his body fell to the floor with a thud that made them laugh intensely. He didn't cry out in pain as he felt these men tie him again with the same barbed wire, this time wrapped around a rope. He didn't cry out in pain as he felt that his right shoulder was slightly dislocating under the force they used to tie his wrists and ankles. He didn't cry out when they left him alone in the wet and icy metal box, slamming the door behind them. He decided to half open his eyes, only to see a sad view: what he was living was the reality, it wasn't in his head. He was living a nightmare, but everything was real. This video Oleg had done, he knew deep down that he would send it to the most loved ones he had. He closed his eyes, his body still covered with painful spasms. He was determined to show Oleg that he could last long under these conditions, he wanted to believe in it. But he didn't know himself if he could hold a second longer in this icy hell. He didn't know what time it was, and he didn't want to. All he knew was that he was in almost total darkness, tied up like an animal for slaughter, tortured for a simple notebook. He heard nothing but the sound of raindrops falling on the rusty and contaminated soil. How long he would hold on... He then remembered the survival course he had when he was in high school: a human being could usually hold four days without drinking, nine days without eating and eleven days without sleeping. He remembered that because he had been impressed to know that the human body could resist that long. Would he succeed to survive days in pain? No drinking, no eating in the cold and the humidity? Nothing was sure at all...

* * *

 **A/N:** **As I said in the explanation of the previous chapter (before the beginning of this story), the next chapter will return on Gabby and her relatives _also including the investigation, etc..._, day 2 (the day after Matt's missing then).**

 **Please, tell me your thoughts in a review ^^**


	4. Day 2: a promise to hold

Hello my dear readers! I hope you're up for this new chapter.

It's a new starting day for everyone and especially for Gabby and Kelly (for the firehouse in general). They have been aware of the situation with Matt.

 **Justicerocks:** I hope my writing is improving, otherwise this year of intensive learning would have been useless ^^

 **Allie:** That's the aim of this rewriting - add as much details as I can to make you "feel" what the entire family is going through

 **Edelmira Gil:** I am pretty proud of myself, indeed haha You will know how he will survive this (sort of)

 **texterlover:** I find this story amazing as well :D

 **jewel2687:** As I said earlier, that's the aim, that's what I wanted with this rewriting! It's a tough topic (yes), but I want to give the best description I can

Time to read, and please leave me a review at the end ^_~

* * *

 **Day 2: A promise to hold**

Gabby had spent a bad night, turning and tossing in her bed, thinking about Matt. Where he was, was he safe, had he really been kidnapped... Too much questions and no answers. She was lost without Matt at her side. She felt empty. Barely a day with no news from him, and the Intelligence unit still had no leads, Nesbitt hadn't talked yet. And she was still angry at Antonio because of this promise he had failed to keep, this promise to protect Matt, telling her that nothing would happen to him. She blamed him, but she was aware that he was probably the only one who could find him safe and sound, who could find her beloved. She got out of this warm bed, shivering when she put a sweater on her shoulders. She walked to go in the kitchen, staring into space with every step. She looked like a zombie. She then saw a word from Brett on the table: she had left early to join Roman and have breakfast with him. She stood there, watching this paper for several minutes without moving. She was somehow jealous of her friend, because she could share her time with the man she loved. But not her. She put down the paper, deciding to make breakfast for her and Kelly. She took out the bacon and some eggs, then the bread to make some toast. She broke the eggs in a bowl to make scrambled eggs and cut the bacon into pieces. Without warning, a wave of nausea seized her. She swallowed, thinking that it would pass. Seeing and understanding this wasn't going to happen, she ran her hand over her stomach.

"Stomach cramps?"

She startled, removing her hand and turning toward this voice. It was Kelly, still half sleepy.

"Sort of. I am making breakfast."

Long seconds passed before one of them spoke again.

"You slept?" he asked in a worried tone.

She sighed, closing her eyes. It was exasperation and dizziness not wanting to pass.

"No. You?"

He sighed as well, sitting on a chair.

"No. I tried, but... I think I won't sleep until we know Matt's safe."

While the eggs were cooking, she took two plates, two knives and two forks and set the table. Kelly got up to take the juice in the fridge, but he turned almost immediately when he heard Gabby run toward the bathroom and shut the door. And he finally heard her throw up. He frowned, puzzled and worried, and walked to the bathroom, thinking about something important. At the bar, he remembered that she had asked Otis to remove the pickles from her view because the smell gave him the urge to vomit. A hand on her belly? Morning sickness? Nausea due to some smell? He might be a man, he recognized the signs. He was sure of it. He opened the door of the bathroom after knocking, and then saw Gabby above the sink splashing cold water on her face, her eyes closed.

"How far along?"

She opened her eyes, looking in the mirror.

"What?" she said, surprised. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He smiled.

"You know perfectly what I'm talking about, Gabby. Don't lie to me. How far along?"

She sighed, lowering her head and closing her eyes. Before falling on her knees to the ground. Kelly's eyes widened and he ran to her and knelt. He could feel her shiver without touching her, ready to cry.

"When... When we were in the ER, and... And this crazy guy blew himself up... You were seriously injured, do you remember?"

He began to nod before changing his mind: Gabby wasn't looking, her gaze still resting on the floor.

"Yeah. I'm very lucky to be alive. Halstead wanted to black tag me."

"There was more than that."

Surprise, Kelly looked her carefully, wanting to understand what she really meant.

"He... He said he had Ebola, but it was worse than Ebola: he had Marberg. When the incubation time has passed, the virus is highly contagious and it kills in less than a day. When he blew himself up, he spread the virus in the air and we have been exposed. Throughout the day, we all thought to die, but... But the incubation time hadn't been over yet, and the virus died with him."

Gabby was shivering and was crying slightly. Then, she collapsed in tears.

"We were relieved! You were out of the wood, there was no virus and... We went to Molly's after that. And... Matt and I spent the night together."

Kelly smiled. He knew Matt and Gabby: with all the tension to evacuate after that, he wouldn't be surprised if they decided to have sex.

"You mean together, together? Or... _Together_?"

Gabby raised her head, opening her eyes and frowning. She burst out laughing.

"You sound like Shay!" she joked before becoming serious again. "We... We had sex."

Kelly was speechless, his mouth open. He had thought this would happen, but he didn't think they had really done this.

"We agreed that... That we were in shock, and it was the stress of the day. And then, we acted as if nothing had happened."

Kelly understood everything: they broke up not because they no longer loved each other, but because they didn't manage to separate their private lives and their work. In fact, Gabby and Matt still loved each other more than anything.

"When you had a fight during his last shift, I had dizziness and nausea. I thought it was because I had caught a cold or something, but at the bar, nausea came back because of the smell of the pickles. And I immediately understood what was happening. So I went to get a pregnancy test."

"And it was positive, wasn't it?"

She nodded, closing her eyes again and crying harder.

"I... Came at... At the apartment immediately to talk to him but... B-but the d-door was open and... And he wasn't there! And... And t-there was t-this woman! I... I don't know, I... I..."

Gabby was too confused and sad to be able to speak in a comprehensible and coherent way. She couldn't even finish her sentence as she was shocked. Kelly decided to embrace her, as long as Gabby needed.

"I'm here Gabby", he murmured. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Matt is going to be okay, and your brother will find him, I'm sure. I promise."

She was shaking like a leaf in his muscular arms. Despite her condition, she nodded slightly between tears. She took five minutes to calm down, to stop crying.

"Nobody knows but you now", she said, wiping her face. "Please, say nothing to anyone. I... Matt should know before the others."

"I understand. I won't say anything, not a word. I promise."

She sighed, leaving Kelly to help her get up.

"I think the eggs are burnt", she began to say without consistency.

They laughed together, starting to smell burning coming from the kitchen.

"We... Will take the breakfast on our way", Kelly assured. "We'll be late for our shift."

Gabby nodded, going to her room to get dressed while Kelly was taking care of the kitchen because he already got dressed. About 11am, the firefighters hadn't received any calls yet. Kelly and Gabby had explained the situation to everyone, and Boden had given them the chance to take a few days off, but they had insisted to make their shift, hoping to think about something else rather than all this. Chief asked then Herrmann to replace Casey. He didn't like it, but Boden had given him no alternative. An hour later, the postman passed to give the mail.

"There was an envelope at the entrance to... Gabriela Dawson and Kelly Severide?"

Both turned, asking themselves many questions about the arrival of this envelope. She took it in her hands, turning it to see who had sent it, but nothing was written on it.

"What is it?"

"I don't know, it was in front of your entrance. I just took it and I gave it to you. But it wasn't distributed by us, there is no stamp. It is someone who filed it here."

The postman resumed his journey to deliver mail while Gabby and Kelly came back to the common room. They sat beside the large table, looked each other in the eye and Kelly nodded. They had to open the envelope. What did Gabby after a deep breath. She pulled out a carefully deposited disc in a CD box.

"What is it?"

"Only one way to ind out."

Kelly looked insistently the television, the one Mouch looked all the time tirelessly.

"Mouch? Can we have the TV for five minutes?"

"No worries, it's all yours."

He gave them the remote but didn't move from his comfortable spot. In reality, everyone was curious about what was in the DVD and watched with one eye what was happening around the TV. Gabby then inserted the CD into the drive, and it put a few seconds to read it. In the first image, all let out a cry of horror or closed their eyes.

"I think we'd better call Antonio."

Gabby slid down a few tears on her cheeks before nodding. She took her phone and dialed her brother's number while continuing to watch the animation on the screen.

"Antonio? You have to come to the firehouse. Immediately."

She hung up immediately, not wanting to wait for a response from him. She simply wanted him to come and as soon as possible.

"Kelly, I beg you", she muttered while crying. "Stop that."

Gabby collapsed to her knees, crying all the tears in her body. All firefighters had kept their hand over their trembling lips. They were curious, but what they had seen was a so unprecedented and unimaginable violence, they were amazed and angry. The district 21 was on the other side of the street, Antonio came running two minutes later.

"I came right away. I understood that it was important or serious when you hung up on me. So, what is it?"

Gabby turned her head toward Kelly, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"Go ahead."

Kelly looked down and lit the television. Antonio's face became distorted in five seconds.

"Oh my God..."

On the screen appeared a man tied up with rope, arms in the air and feet not touching the ground, wearing only and underwear as clothe. And there was unceremoniously hit. He seemed to struggle at first, but after several punches very well placed, the tied up man hardly moved, his head down. He let it go. And this man was Matt.

"Who gave this to you? When did you receive it?"

"We don't know and about five minutes ago. The postman said that... That the envelope was at the entrance, and... And... And I don't know..."

Gabby was out of her mind, disconnected, afraid, angry. Crying as never she cried before.

"I know that what I am going to ask you is likely going to be the hardest thing at the moment. But I need to turn the volume on."

Gabby couldn't watch this one more second. She stood up abruptly and left the room. She didn't want to hear this. Kelly turned the volume on, playing the video from the beginning again.

" _So, Casey. I will ask my question again. Where. Is. The notebook?_ "

Matt raised his head slowly, a smile on his lips.

" _I will give my answer again: you will never find it._ "

As soon as he finished his sentence, Matt received a violent punch in the stomach, causing him to cringe and frown.

" _I need this information, Matt._ "

Still smiling, Matt raised his head again.

" _I need you... To wash your mouth... You reek from the mouth._ "

Once again, the men threw punches on him in the chest, the stomach, his ribs. But once again, Matt didn't cry in pain; Antonio was amazed.

" _I won't ask a third time._ "

Antonio could see that Mat was suffering, seeing him wince. But he was fighting these men.

" _And I won't give my answer a third time either._ "

They all heard a laugh. The camera looked down to the ground, the man holding it taking an iron bar in his hand, turning around Matt. The camera went away, and came closer very quickly. The man with the camera had struck Matt violently in the back. And this time, firefighters and Antonio could hear Matt screaming in pain. More punches were struck, his cries became more powerful. The man wasn't alone in the room, they could hear them laugh.

" _Still nothing?_ "

Several seconds passed in a dumb silence. Before an answer from Matt.

" _Well... My back is still scratching, just below my shoulder blades. May you..._ "

The man with the camera laughed again. He went away, then came back even faster than the first time, thumping him a terribly violent blow, violent enough to make Matt bleed and twist the metal bar under the force of the blow. Antonio could even see Matt's body shake in pain.

" _I will make you swallow your pride. Matthew Casey._ "

Then, the man continued to hit Matt, again and again. Until Matt stopped moving, until he stopped crying because of this awful pain. A few minutes later, the punches ceased, making the man with the camera laugh.

" _If he loses consciousness with this, he won't last long._ "

Kelly put the video on pause and looked Antonio. He was also shocked by the violence of the video he had just seen.

"I... I'll take the DVD, and... And give it to Mouse... So he can get something from it."

Kelly pulled the CD out of the drive and gave it to Antonio. Nobody moved, everyone was paralyzed, paralyzed by what they had seen, what they had heard. Their own lieutenant, their friend, their brother had been tortured before their eyes. Everyone was in shock. It was a nightmare.


	5. Day 2: how can you hold on

Hi peeps! I hope you're all doing well ^^ I am still preparing my move, so I am still busy and I hardly have time to write anything. I do my best though :D

SO, I want to warn you: **IT IS RATED M!** Well, sort of. It's hard to read for sensitive people, but as it's a fiction you can handle this, right?

 **CPTeen 1999:** I will update as soon as I can every time. And it can take some time ^^

 **Justicerocks:** She had to tell someone, Kelly is the only one she trusts at the time. And I hope he will find a way to find Matt soon

 **Allie:** As I said, I will update every time I can

 **Michelle:** Thank you, I hope you will like this chapter then :D

 **jewel2687:** Indeed, she needs all the support possible. And it will come from Kelly and her family of firefighters

 **texterlover:** They will find him, but when?

 **EdelmiraGil:** Yes, Matt is suffering very hard, and Gabby had to tell Kelly the truth. Well, he guessed she was pregnant, but you know what I meant uh? I'm glad you liked all the details I've put in the story!

It is time to read now, and to leave a review at the end of the story :D

* * *

 **Day 2: How you can hold on**

Matt woke up abruptly, completely panicked and wondering where he was. It was only when he felt this persistent awful smell he realized that he would have preferred being in a bad dream rather than the reality: he was indeed locked in a metal room completely rotten and wet, giving him the urge to vomit. His hands were still firmly tied in his back, so firmly that he could feel his shoulder burn, as if it was dislocated. His feet were attached as well, a little less firmly but still enough to not free himself. This whole body ached, especially his back and chest. He could feel his dried blood on his back, he could feel the swellings and bruises all over his ribs. Even without touching them, he knew he had some cracked ribs, and it was just the beginning. He had enough already, he was tired of this. All he wanted was to speak to get free. But he had no guarantee to get free after having spoken. He had no guarantee to have his friends safe. In fact, he had nothing to hand on except his friends. He had to protect them, no matter what.

 _Antonio and the others will find you soon. You have to hang tight until this moment. They will find you._

But Matt didn't know how long it would take. Hours? Days? Weeks? Never? Emotions were jostling in his head and he didn't know what to think. He was hungry, he was thirsty, he was tired despite the obscurity reigning in this disgusting room. His face was against the wall, he heard the door open in this same horrible grinding he disliked wince yesterday. Just because it was time for being tortured.

 _Don't forget, you have no right to tell them. Otherwise, your friends will die._

"Slept well, sleeping beauty?" he heard someone ask, laughing.

This man, it was undoubtedly Oleg. He recognized his voice and his forced accent. Matt heard some steps and soon, he felt his heart beating faster. He feared this moment. Just because he knew he had no choice but shut up and he was going to be tortured, probably until death.

"Put our guest on his feet", Oleg ordered.

Soon, other men were there and Matt got on his feet, in front of his torturer. Just being up was a torture for him, he wanted to sit down on the rusty ground, but what he understood was he didn't have the right to do this, not yet.

"You had several hours to think about my proposition. So? You are going to talk?"

Oleg was standing close enough to Matt now for the latter to read in his gaze that he was highly angry. Something happened while he was sleeping, something important enough for this Bulgarian guy to be in this anger state. Inwardly, Matt was laughing hard.

"You're desperate… That's why you're angry…", Matt stated with a slight smile on his face. "Just for that, I won't tell you anything", he challenged.

Oleg then had the same reflex as Matt, meaning smiling. He came closer, enough to place his head over Matt's painful shoulder and whisper in his ear.

"Oh, you are going to reveal all your secrets, Matthew Casey. I know how to put pressure on you", he whispered without being heard by his men.

Oleg stepped back, asking without one gesture to his men to catch Matt at his arms. He didn't try to fight, he knew it was vain, he knew he had no other choice than to take the punches. The Bulgarian then made pacing from left to right, playing gently with his fists.

"I guess you are close to your family, Matt. What if I go say hello myself?"

Matt then understood that this way to put pressure on him Oleg was talking about was his own family. Without showing it, he started panicking. How he could do this in such a situation? Matt didn't know where was this notebook, he had no clue. But he had to play on that fact of knowing.

"You touch a single hair of someone of my family, of one of my friends, anyone, but approaching them in any way, and you can say goodbye to this notebook", Matt announced firmly.

 _That's it. He has to believe you know where it is. It's your only way to stay alive and protect your family._

Oleg fainted a smile, approaching Matt again.

"What is telling me that if I don't approach them, you are going to talk?" Oleg asked.

"What is telling me that if I talk, I will free me and leave my family alone?"

"Nothing."

"Then I won't guarantee anything either."

Matt was firmly decided to talk only if he was sure that his family and his friends were completely safe. He didn't want to risk their lives, he couldn't. He had no right. The two men stared at each other for several minutes, trying to bend the other to his requirements. But Matt had an advantage: Oleg wanted this notebook, no matter how. He was ready to do everything for this.

"Fine", Oleg ceased, surprising Matt and his henchmen. "I won't approach your family and your friends."

"I was also talking about your whole crew, each man you are employing and exploiting."

Matt wanted to be sure that no one would dare hurt his relatives, especially Gabby. He wanted to protect them.

"You have my word."

Even though he didn't trust Oleg, he had to be content.

"So now, tell me where is the notebook?"

Matt had to find a clever way to stop Oleg. He thought the fastest he could despite the pain paralyzing him and avoiding him to think correctly. If Katya was dead at his place, then it meant that someone had found her body and an investigation was open. Antonio and Voight would on the call and they would rush to the strip-club, where Katya worked and where he was doing renovation. This meant that the club was out of reach for Oleg at the time. And it seemed like the perfect place to hide something everyone would search sooner or later.

"The club", he whispered. "But I won't tell you another clue", he finally said with a laugh despite rib pains.

Oleg smiled, then hit him with all his strength in the stomach, plunging his fist just below his rib cage and raising it slightly to the greatest pain for Matt. He coughed, trying vainly to catch a lost breath, holding his ferrous saliva in his mouth to swallow it later, as to feed himself as he could. The two henchmen then threw him on the ground, his pale and exposed skin scraping the damp and rotten soil, burning him while the barbed wire was lacerating his wrists. He said nothing, he didn't scream, simply watching Oleg and his leave the room as they came.

* * *

They were all on edge, especially Oleg. And it was understandable: their hideout was located just below the club, and the fact of torturing Matt wouldn't lead them into trouble at the time. It was a hidden place known only by Oleg, Nesbitt and his men and it helped us to hide their nasty business. And what was putting even more Oleg on edge was to know that the notebook he was searching was above him. At least, from what Matt said. He didn't believe him, but it was worth to find out, when the cops would be gone. And above all, if they would leave, hoping they wouldn't find it before him. What was putting the more Oleg on edge was to know that the man who had thought about the whole operation had been arrested by Intelligence Unit, he got caught in attempt to create a diversion and to get them the time to go down to the hideout. And Oleg knew the reputation of the Intelligence Unit, especially their interrogation manners. He was afraid of Nesbitt talking, and his henchmen could see it in his face.

"Kakvo mislish?" (What are you thinking?)

Oleg turned to his two men, sighing deeply and closing his eyes while rubbing his fingers over his eyebrows.

"Toĭ tryabva da govori. Vsyaka tsena." (He has to talk. No matter how)

Oleg then turned again, pacing around nervously. Several seconds later, he turned back to his two favorite men and pointed them.

"Tryabva da poluchite bezplatno Nesbitt. Imate kartblansh da go nakara da govori. Prosto go dŭrzhi zhiv, dokato se vŭrna." (I have to release Nesbitt. You have free hand to make him talk. You just have to keep him alive until I come back)

"I semeĭstvoto mu?" (And his family?)

"Az opazi Moeto uchenie. Sprete da dŭrzhi pod oko gi i samo gi podkhod da im dade videoklipove." (I am a man of word. Stop keeping an eye on them and approach them only to give them the videos)

"No…" (But…)

"Politsai se dŭrzhi pod oko gi. Ako sa vidya edin ot nas, toĭ shte bŭde zasencheno i te shte ni namerite. Drŭzhte Casey beseda: toĭ tryabva da ni kazhe kŭde e tazi prokleta tetradka, tochno." (Cops have an eye on them. If they see one of us, he will be shadowed and they will find us. Make him talk: he has to tell us where this damn notebook is, precisely)

"Razbran." (Understood)

Oleg then left to join the outside world without being noticed by anyone while the two henchmen were looking the other, not knowing what to do.

"Kakvo da pravim sega?" (What do we do?)

"Ne znam. Nie mozhem da... Mozhe bi mozhem da si igrae s nego?" (I don't know. We can… Maybe play with him ?)

"Kak?" (What do you mean?)

"Fizichesko iztezaniya ne pravi nishto. Psikhichno iztezaniya, toĭ se okaza sreshtu Oleg. Ima oshte edin nachin da se okazhe natisk vŭrkhu nego." (Physical torture doesn't work. Mental torture had been turned against Oleg. There is still one way to put pressure on him)

"Ne mislya za tova, koeto Az sŭm mislene?" (You don't think about what I am thinking?)

"Taka mislya. I nie imame... Perfektnata igrachka za tova. Donesi Trish. Az sŭm siguren, che tya shte bŭde shtastliva." (I think so. And we have… The perfect toy for that. Bring Trish, I am sure she will be happy)

Nikolaï smiled nervously, turning his back and making his way to bring this woman who betrayed them once already when she tried to escape after Katya's death. It didn't please him, but he had to do this to keep his own family alive. It was his punishment for having tried to defraud Oleg: having to do his dirty work. But he didn't budge, he had to keep his family safe, even if he had to die for this. In a way, he could understand Matt: he was trying to keep his relatives alive as well, away from all this hell. He was the one able to understand the most what he was experiencing. Approaching the cell, he took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Come on Trish, get out."

"I don't want to. I won't."

"Oleg is not here. You will go see Matt. I think he needs… A comforting hug."

Trish looked at him, trying to see the truth in his eyes. After several seconds, she got up and walked to the door to go out.

"Oleg will kill you at the least misstep", Nikolaï slipped into her ear. "He already killed Katya, then don't get killed."

"You should keep an eye on yourself. If they see us together, we are both dead."

"I know."

"You've found a way to leave this hideout?"

He said nothing, his gaze wandering into space.

"You had found nothing yet", she presumed correctly. "I won't hold long, you know. What does Oleg want me to do with Matt?"

"He gave us a free hand to make him talk. Dimitar thinks that sex would be the perfect way."

"S-sex? Y-you want me to… To have sex with Matt? In front of you?"

Trish shook her head, unable to believe the man she had fallen in love with had suggested. She couldn't believe it, specifically because he said this with the most serious tone.

"I-I can't do this", she stammered, almost begging Nikolaï to not undergo this.

"There is no other choice Trish. If there had been one, I would have proposed it to you, but it's the only way."

"But he has a family! It's a rape, Nik!"

"I will get us to run away, no matter where. If I have to sacrifice myself to keep you alive, then I will but please. If you don't do this, Dimitar will kill you without hesitation."

Trish was ready to cry, ready to fall back because of the shock. She had no other choice but to trust the man who was risking his own life for her. And it hurt her to have to torture Matt in this way. He didn't deserve this.

"He doesn't know where is the notebook. I am sure."

"I know. But Oleg will never admit it. And he will never release him. Because it would mean he will end the whole operation."

"Unless Oleg kills him or get him killed before", Trish noticed. "We have to bring him with us when we will find a way to get out of this hell."

"I agree. But not a word for now."

"I know."

Trish placed her hands behind her back, allowing Nikolaï to tie her so that she wouldn't run away, not in front of Dimitar at least. Once arrived near Matt's cage, the second henchman sighed.

"You took your time."

"I know. She struggled."

To appear more real, she tried to free herself from Nikolaï's hands, taking a big slap on her face from Dimitar before being grabbed by her hair.

"She's tough, eh? Luckily, we need someone stubborn enough to play with our guest."

"Pusni me!" (Let go of me!)

"Chuĭ me mrŭsna kuchka! Vie shte se pravi lyubov s Matt. Toĭ shte bŭde tolkova sram ot tova, che toĭ shte zapochne da govori sled tova." (Listen to me, dirty bitch! You are going to fuck Matt. He will be so shamed after that, he will talk to us)

"Ti si lud. Toĭ nikoga nyama da vi kazha kŭde belezhnika e." (You are crazy. He will never tell you where it is)

"Dostatŭchno!" (That's enough!)

Dimitar took a deep breath, grabbing Trish by her neck to lift her while Nikolaï was watching, powerless.

"You are going into this room, and make him regret his girlfriend."

He let her go as a messy, opening the door while Nikolai took the bonds of Trish.

* * *

Even if Matt wanted to get out of this hell, he didn't have strength to escape. The pain was paralyzing him, he was trying to focus only on his breathing as to control it, but even this was becoming harder. All he could hear was this hubbub behind the door keeping him locked in, this argument he couldn't understand because it wasn't English. Maybe Bulgarian or similar language, since they were all from Eastern Europe. And suddenly, he heard a voice speaking in English, someone explaining that he was going to be tortured again, but this time sexually. Inwardly, he started panicking. It wasn't someone he had thought about, and it bothered him intensely. How they could do such a thing to make him talk? Especially when it was doomed to failure: regardless of the means of torture used, Matt wasn't going to give in. Not again. In reality, Dimitar seemed worse than Oleg. After some noiseless seconds, the rusty door opened, revealing two men and a woman. Trish and the two henchmen. This end would never end.

"Come on! Get up!"

But Matt didn't move an inch. He simply stared at the three people approaching him, the man with green eyes holding Trish firmly while the one with brown eyes began to strike his stomach with one of his feet. He said nothing, he didn't scream in pain, hardly wincing. Without really wanting it, Matt got on his knees, trying painfully to not push the barbed wire deeper in his wrists and ankles. He felt his own blood flow again on his skin, fall to the ground by droplets and mix with the ambient humidity.

"You remember Trish, don't you?"

He said nothing, watching Trish from the corner of his eye. She seemed frightened by something, of someone, he didn't really know. She was looking down, as if she was ashamed of what was going to happen within the following minutes.

"We have a free hand to make you talk. But we decided to… To make you have fun before Oleg's return", Dimitar explained, laughing.

Have fun… How he could have fun while he was stuck in there, in a completely rotten cage, while he was tortured and they were going to do things he didn't even want to hear.

"Come on Trish!" he said, taking her by her arm and throwing her on the ground. "What are you waiting for? Our guest can't wait!"

Matt remained on his knees, he was breathing as calmly as possible in such a situation. He could see Trish holding back a sob, she didn't want to appear weak. Nikolaï untied her while Dimitar put Matt on his bare feet and slammed him on one of the mold walls.

"You will stay wisely against this wall. Let Trish do this, she is good at relaxing men."

Matt understood perfectly what it meant, and he didn't want to at all. He was ready to fight for this, because he wanted nothing but be in a calm place, only for a few hours. But it didn't work, because he was paralyzed, completely vulnerable while Trish was approaching dangerously.

"N-no", he tried to say to stop them, in vain.

Trying to fight, Dimitar held him more firmly.

"I told you to let Trish do this", he whispered in his ear.

To not see this, Matt decided to close his eyes, he had enough of this, and he couldn't look Trish do what she was going to do. And he would never be able to look at her again after this. Even if he could see nothing, he could feel her trembling, he knew she was shaking from everywhere. When he felt a hand on his cold thigh, he slightly jumped. He tensed, feeling this hand going up slowly, more and more. Until arriving on his underwear soiled by moisture, dirt and rust. Matt's legs were shaking as ever, even more than when he had been suspended in the air by his wrists, hit and humiliated as he never had been. Noticing his tremors and his desire to fight, Dimitar tightened his grip a little more.

"I told you to stay calm."

Dimitar's voice scared him highly. It was grave enough to make him shiver without waiting it. In fact, everything in Matt frightened Matt, from his voice to his physical. He was clearly stronger than him, and he didn't know how he could do if one day, he had to fight against him to run away and get out of this hell alive and in one piece. At the same time, he felt his underwear going down along his legs, meeting the ground. The man holding him looked down, smiling from the corner of his mouth.

"Trish will love this!"

She said nothing, Matt either, each concentrated to stay alive as long as possible. About six feet from him, there was Oleg's second henchman, trying by all possible means at his disposal to not watch the scene. Matt had noticed him when he came into the room, he noticed that something was wrong. Either Dimitar was scaring him, or there was something with Trish. Probably both. Several seconds later, Matt felt once again her trembling and iced hands, and instinctively, he clenched his thighs.

"Wait a second, Trish."

The grip on his wrists relaxed. Finally. But after a moment, a rope came to wrap around them again. Then, his arms got up and his whole body followed. He had been suspended in the air, just like the day before when Oleg had untiringly struck him with an iron bar.

"You move, you die. Got it?"

Dimitar talked to him directly, making him inwardly jump in the process. What he meant by whispering in his ear was 'if you raise your legs to protest, barbed wire will enter your flesh, it will crash into your veins and you will bleed to death'. Deep down, Matt wanted this. He didn't want another humiliation. But then, he thought back to that life waiting for him when he would be free, this life stretching out its arms somewhere. To Gabby, the woman he had loved and he was still in love with. He thought back to her smile when she looked at him, the time he spent with her. He thought to all this while being touched and humiliated by another woman. Tears came to his eyes, then came down his cheeks despite his desire to hold them. Some fell on Trish's hair while he was biting his lower lip. He bit it again when he felt her hot breath on the top of his legs, when he felt her lips on him, when he felt her tongue. It was one of the most horrible sensations he ever had in his life, and he had experienced more than one. It was horrible because he knew he was going to feel pleasure, and it hurt him so much to have that pleasure invading him slowly. But he couldn't do anything about it now. He had to suffer without flinching. His eyes still close, Matt felt his face tense, sometimes he heard himself make a sound or two, sometimes more. Sometimes he tried to move to stop this nightmare and Trish, but his wrists were sending him pain signals, preventing him to go further in his approach. And suddenly, he gave up, he admitted his defeat. He knew he couldn't do anything to stop these men and this woman. He had lost. The only thing he could do freely was crying. He didn't know how, but he was crying. He was tied up like an animal, with someone torturing him in a way he would have never dared to think, a torture just for fun, a pleasure he absolutely didn't want to. His legs were still shivering, he felt the heat slowly and dangerously rising in him, and after several and endless minutes, his whole body relaxed. It was only at that moment Matt noticed that he held his breath for minutes. What he didn't hold at all were the tears streaming down his face. Startling by feeling the contrast between his icy skin and her warm hands, his underwear climbed back up and his hands fell down without being tied again on his back, and Dimitar slammed him to the ground like a dead weight while Matt was sobbing. Laughing with all his strength, all three left the room, slamming the metal door. Crying tirelessly, Matt put his arms around his legs he had stuck to his bare chest. The hardest thing wasn't trying to fight in vain, it was taking pleasure in this new way of torture. Not that Trish gave him pleasure, on the contrary. When he was tortured in this way, the only thing he could hang up was to imagine Gabby instead of Trish. He imagined this ideal woman torturing him. It was cruel, it was ashamed in a way. But it was for him one of the only ways to resist the madness and the desire to end his life. He was ashamed, because despite his unconditional love for Gabby, he felt pleasure from another woman.


	6. Day 3: the last chance

Hi everyone! Yes, I haven't updated this story for about two months, but I had no inspiration _as usual_ for this chapter. I've written down chapter 6 and 7 before this one, so you will have it soon, don't worry about it.

And as usual, I will answer to your reviews:

 **jewel2687:** I feel bad for Matt as well as you do ^^ And you will understand why Trish is not really enjoying this (in this chapter and the next one)

 **Justicerocks:** I know it was hard t read, and I am sorry for that. I warn you: next chapter (not this one, but chapter 6) is much harder :D And thank you for the compliment *kiss*

 **texterlover:** Of course he's protecting his friends and family! as I said earlier, you are going to look over your shoulder even more while reading chapter 6 :p

 **Edelmira Gil:** I still don't understand Spanish, but thanks to google translator, I am able to understand lol But thank you for telling me I have a good writing ^^ I am really glad you like it

 **Guest:** I am glad you like the rewrite more than the previous story. I am really sorry, but as Gabby is pregnant and Matt is dealing with the beginning of an infection (next chapter), I can't really access to your request ^^ And the aim of this story is to give you all the story from every POV and see how they're all dealing with what they know.

I really hope you still like this rewritten story, because I LOVE writing it!

Have a nice reading!

* * *

 **Day 3: the last chance**

Kelly opened his eyes, feeling the light of the morning sun on his face. That wasn't the cause of his awakening, on the contrary. What had prevented him to go further in his dream was this woman retching in the bathroom. He sighed, his first thought being for Matt, his best friend, his brother. Was he suffering? Did he have drink? Did he have food? Was he able to surpass this whole sordid story while Voight and his team were moving heaven and Earth to find him? Just by thinking back to this video he and Gabby had received, it hurt him horribly. How those guys could do this to someone else for a simple freaking notebook? With difficulty, he stood up, stretching to release all the tension built up during the night and entered into the main room. Sylvie was cooking breakfast, Gabby still throwing up with an empty stomach.

"Hey."

As she hadn't heard him getting up or entering the room, Sylvie startled, the spatula she had in hand flying as she turned around, placing her left hand on her chest.

"God, you scared the hell of me! I didn't hear you coming", she justified herself without the need.

Suspecting perfectly that Gabby had told to anyone that she was pregnant, he said nothing, to arouse no suspicion. He decided to frown every time he heard a noise coming from the bathroom.

"I think she's sick", Sylvie explained.

"I think she is, yeah", Kelly confirmed in a lie.

The truth is that it wasn't a real lie: morning sickness was a part of many diseases, it wasn't just a symptom of pregnancy. Two minutes after having heard the flush, the two friends saw Gabby exiting the bathroom with red eyes and a pale skin.

"You look like hell", Kelly laughed, trying to relax the two women.

"Thanks Kelly", Gabby answered with a smile, understanding that he was trying to hide the truth to Sylvie, "You're beautiful like hell as well."

Sylvie couldn't help but burst into a laugh. It wasn't like that she actually wanted to laugh, it was more a nervous one than anything else. Gabby and Kelly stared at her, then Sylvie resumed her seriousness and turned back to the stove and continued to take care of the breakfast. Matt's girlfriend remained still, not moving an inch for several long and endless seconds, worrying Kelly. He fondly placed his hand on one of her shoulders to bring her back to reality. She slightly shook her head and put her gaze in the eyes of this comforting friend.

"You okay?"

Concern could be read on his face. He was concerned in fact, for both Matt and Gabby. What she had seen the day before had surely reached her at full force, which would be understandable because after all, she was still truly in love with Matt. And she was carrying his child as well.

"I am fine", she affirmed with a forced smile.

Obviously, Kelly wasn't convinced at all. How he could be while the man she loved the most in this world was suffering martyrdom.

"You?"

He was astonished by her question. The truth is, he didn't expect this to happen. He had to tell her the truth, he had to put her up against the wall, she had to understand that she wasn't fine and that everyone could see it.

"I will be fine when they will find Matt. Alive and in one piece", he admitted. "And when these bastards will be dead and buried", he said this time in an angry tone, almost a hatred one.

He blamed those men he didn't really know. He hated them at the highest point for having kidnapped Matt, for torturing him for a piece of paper and for having killed this stripper in their own apartment. She didn't deserve this death, she simply deserved to live free.

* * *

At the district 21, Voight and his team were on the alert. They had put all their elements on the case, and Hank had also decided to activate his fraudulent relationships to have the least clue. And it was the case for everyone, but they had nothing yet. And it wasn't good at all.

"Let's summarize the situation", one of the chief from the FBI asked when he just arrived.

But nobody in the intelligence unit or the district approved: it was a waste of precious time to find Matt, but also for Nesbitt. Antonio sighed, realizing that the cops had no choice but to cooperate. He stepped forward the white board, the one they used for every case, pointing the pen at the photo of Matt.

"Lieutenant Matthew Casey from the Chicago Fire Department. He is also a self-constructor, missing for soon two days", he started before moving to another photo. "Jack Nesbitt, former firefighter of the CFD, he's the owner of the Stiletto, a strip-club. For several months, we suspect Nesbitt to be involved in a Bulgarian human trafficking and make them work in his own club. In order to expand his club, he appealed Casey's services to renovate one of the rooms. He met Katya Antov, one of the strippers. She's been found dead in Casey's apartment, shot in the chest, single bullet. According to the coroner, the bullet went through her heart and she bled out in a few seconds".

"Who found her?"

"My sister, Gabriela Dawson. She and Casey had a relationship and she works in the firehouse and the same truck. She came in the apartment to talk to him, but she just found Katya and Matt was no longer in here."

"Any traces of a struggle?"

"From the mess of the apartment, we do think so."

"And why this… Casey? Got involved in all this?"

"By our fault", Voight intervened, preventing Antonio to go further. "When we heard that he would work in the club for renovations, we asked him to help us to bring down the traffic. And he agreed. He gave us all the information he could get, but he never managed to get solid evidence about the traffic. But it was likely that Katya was in his apartment to tell him about the traffic. We don't know anything more at the moment."

"So, if I understand the situation, you keep arrested a man here without valid reasons."

"Without valid reasons?! You're fucking kidding me?!"

Antonio was highly angry now, and nobody could stop him. He was crazy as hell. He knew Nesbitt was involved one way or another, and he would prove it.

"What my colleague means is that we know he's involved, but we don't know to what degree. Besides, we had no other choice but to release him. His henchman, Oleg came to pick him up, and we put a tracer on him. If we're right, he will lead us straight to his hideout, which would probably be to place he's keeping Casey."

"If he's still alive."

"He's still alive. In two days, we received two CDs with a video engraved. It shows Casey alive, being tortured by… In any case, he's still alive. If we get videos, you know that he is. Mouse is trying to find a way to decrypt the video, so that we could know where he is, but it doesn't work yet. We involved all our CIs, but still nothing as well."

"Then let's get to work. We don't know how long your friend will endure this torture."

Everyone resumed their work, and soon, Sergeant Platt came at Voight and Antonio and stopped them.

"I know you're working, no need to say this to me. But a woman, pretty shaken, is searching for you. She said her name is Trish and has information about the case."

Immediately, Antonio and Hank looked at each other before following Trudy downstairs. There was a brown and messy hair woman sitting on a bench, shivering and crying. The two police officers approached lowly not to frighten her.

"Trish?"

In a panic moment, she startled, got up and started screaming without sound. She was scared to death. Antonio and Voight put their hands up, as a sign of peace. She soon realized that she was safe. She collapsed in the arms of Dawson, crying even more. He had no choice but hug her. Matt gave them enough information to know that she was one of the strippers, and she was probably a victim of the trafficking.

"It's over now. Let's go upstairs, we'll give you something to eat and drink. And a blanket."

Once in an interrogation room, one of the cops gave her a big blanket to keep her warm while Antonio brought some cookies and a hot coffee, which she hastened to drink.

"Trish? I know this is something hard for you, but… We need to find Matt. Can you help us?"

Just thinking about Matt, she saw his face, this face with a fright look. He just let her do what she had to do when… She couldn't think about it.

"Oleg. He… He…"

"Take your time."

"They killed Nikolaï."

"Who's Nikolaï?"

"He… He helped me to run out, we… We were running and… And he took a bullet, he… I am sure they killed him."

Antonio was trying to sort the information: a man called Nikolaï helped her to escape and he was going to die or was already dead. It sounded like a passionate look between a prisoner and a jailer, a forbidden love punished with death for the latter. She was lucky to still be alive.

"And Matt?"

"He… He's alive. But not for much longer. Oh God, you have to hurry!"

"Calm down, calm down. Where he is?"

"At the club."

"We searched everywhere at the club, and there was nothing."

"There is a secret passage to an underground network. There are four caves and a big living room. This is where… Oleg and Jack keep the most reticent of us, until we decide to cooperate."

"They… Torture you?"

Not finding the words, she nodded.

"They have our family, if we do what they ask, nothing happens to them. But when we don't, they… They hurt them, sometimes kill them. But it didn't work with Matt. He didn't want to talk. He said to Oleg that if he touched his family and friends, he wouldn't say anything. They… They beat him, they give him nothing to eat or drink. But he said nothing."

"He's still at the club?"

"Unless they move, yes, he's still there. But you have to hurry, he won't hold much longer this… This kind of torture. Please. Save him. Nik and I decided to run escape to bring down the trafficking and save Matt, so please. Find him and save him."

"That's what we're going to do. Stay here, an officer will take care of you."

The two cops got out of the room and warn everyone.

"We got a lead! According to our information, Matt is still at the club, in a sort of cave. We can access it by a secret passage, so we go all together, and take the heavy weapons! Let's go!"

"We're coming with you", affirmed the FBI team leader. "You do the internal intervention, we keep an eye outside."

"Okay."

Finally. They would free Matt soon. It was now a matter of minutes.

* * *

Herrmann, Otis and Dawson had decided to open their bar earlier, hoping that it would help them to think about something else, but it was impossible. All the firefighters were thinking about Matt, and nothing relieved them. Was he suffering, could he eat or drink, how he was holding on, was he scared or not. Too many questions and no answer yet. They had turned off the television, the news talking about this local case all the time, and it undermined their mood already down. They were all staring in the void, until Gabby received a phone call. Surprised, she jumped, her friends looking at her because they didn't know who it was. Seeing who it was, she picked up almost immediately.

"Yes?... You sure?... Okay… Thanks."

She hung up, sighing and biting her lower lips. Herrmann knew that it was a sign of stress or relief coming from the one he considered as his daughter.

"Gabby? What is it?"

She sighed again, turning to her mentor.

"It was Antonio. He, uh… They may have a lead. He just wanted me to be aware of the situation and get prepared for the best and the worst."

"The… Worst?"

"He doesn't know if he's still alive. But he hopes so. He will call me back within ten minutes or so to tell me more."

Deep down, they were almost relieved. This nightmare was going to end, whether in the best way or the worst. Now, they were all hoping that it would be in the best way.

* * *

 **A/N: For the Trish part, you will know what really happen in the next chapter. Hopefully soon ^^**


	7. Day 3: still holding on

Hello! OVER 100 REVIEWS on SA! YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are a part of this success ! And I hope this story will have as much success as SA :D

warning, WARNING, **WARNING!** This chapter is rated extremely M, so if you are under 21, CAREFUL! I tried to not name everything as most as possible, but you know... I used a part of the previous story in this chapter (the rated M part).

Anyway, I am still happy to read your reviews and answer them.

 **Gaellicious89:** FINALLY, you caught up the story! And I am really glad to see that you like. As you can guess, I am trying to put (indeed) some lighter scenes, in opposition to the torturing scenes.

 **Michelle:** Thank you for the compliment! *blushing* They will find Matt soon, I promise. In fact, it's next chapter :D

 **Justicerocks:** You know me so much ^^ I can't tell you anything but "you're right" :p

 **texterlover:** I love this story too (obviously) and don't worry, you will see what happens soon haha

 **jewel2687:** I have to tell you that I like your reviews, and I am waiting every single time to read them :D As you can imagine, Severide is still there for everyone, especially Gabby and Matt. He can see in her mind despite her "poker face" she's trying to wear, but it doesn't work for Kelly. In fact, he's trying to bring it down, so that Gabby can open up to him, but it's hard and she's stubborn!

 **Edelmira Gil:** Thank you for your support, I was sure you would understand ^^

 _Have a nice reading everyone!_

* * *

 **Day 3: Holding on**

Was it the morning, the afternoon or the night? At the time, he thought of having dozed for a few minutes when he received a huge bucket of water on his completely sore body. Painfully, he cracked open his eyes, looking wherever his gaze could arise in order to recognize his environment. He was still locked up in this same very smelly room, fighting for nothing, just being beaten even more. He could hear his heart beating faster than usual in his head, this horrible sound resonating, as if a hammer had just slammed a huge piece of metal. All the injuries he had sustained in the back were stinging, burning him. It was an unimaginable pain, something he couldn't control, and it was what scared him the most. Not having the control of the situation. He was used to lead his men during the most delicate situations, but this time, his body was moving all alone, without any help. It was him and his body, separately. He could feel a cold wind rush in every cell of his body, in every muscle, every tissue, every organ. He was shivering while feeling his body burn slowly, as if he was dying. He was frozen, but droplets of sweat had invaded his forehead and were coming down along his cheeks, or at least what remained of them. He was dying slowly. He wanted everything to be over, he wanted this to stop, but he had no other choice but to hold on. If he spoke, he was dead. He tried to swallow something, but he was so thirsty and his mouth was so dry, he couldn't even produce saliva. He was starving, but he couldn't eat. When was the last time he had eaten and drunk? He didn't even remember. He had stopped hoping to be saved after Trish… Even this, he couldn't think about this. He tried to close his burning blue eyes, but a sudden kick in the stomach came to help him reopen them immediately. He wanted to scream, to shed a few tears, but the rest of his strength he still had was to hold on, again and again, with no reason now. He had just the strength to barely breathe, probably for another few hours, but not more. If his captors knew how to be lenient with him, which was rarely the case. In fact, Matt didn't think that at any moment of his forced detention, someone had pity for him.

"Up."

Oleg. It was sure, he wouldn't be spared. But he had no strength anymore to obey, and the Bulgarian realized this almost immediately. He rushed at his prisoner, and with the help of one of his henchmen, he kind of put him on his feet. His back stung him, burned him, the pain growing and spreading every second he remained up by the two men. Oleg came in front of Matt, vulnerable and weakened, he raised his head so that their eyes could meet.

"So, I heard you're vulnerable to sexual torture. Well… If it's the only way to make you talk… Then, let's play."

He signed to his henchman, and the latter brought Matt to the other corner of the room, where a board and two trestles were laying. He made him lie down on his stomach, to his relief, then he tied his hands with the usual barbed wire under the wooden board, so that even if he had an ounce of strength, he couldn't wrestle. He wanted to sleep, his throat was on fire, as the rest of his body despite the chills. Oleg brought someone, a man he didn't recognize. Despite his blurred vision, he could distinguish that he was tall and had brown hair. He couldn't see the color of his eyes or the color of his skin, but he knew that if Oleg had appealed to him, then he should come from Eastern Europe.

"Matt? Meet Yuri. He will take care of you today."

Take care of him. It felt false coming out of his mouth. In fact, it obviously meant that today, he was going to be tortured by this man in a way he wouldn't like. He hadn't yielded until now, but Oleg had found a hole in concrete wall Mat had created for his mental protection, and this hole was sexual torture. Several seconds later, the Bulgarian patted friendly on the shoulder of Yuri and made him move towards Matt. Soon, the man turned to his master.

"Toĭ e tuk za kolko vreme?" (He's in here for how long?)

"Okolo tri dni? Ne znam. Zashto?" (About three days? I don't know. Why?)

"Ti ne go vizhdat? Toĭ ima visoka temperatura, toĭ e pokrit s krŭv, poryazvaniya i natŭrtvaniya. Toĭ ima infektsiya razprostranyava v tsyalata tyaloto mu, a ti iskash nego izmŭchvaneto?" (You don't see anything? He's feverish, he's covered with blood, cuts and bruises. He has an infection spreading throughout his body, and you want me to torture him?)

"Tova e tochno koeto az vi pitam. V protiven sluchaĭ, da kazhem sbogom na dragi vashata dŭshterya." (That's exactly what I'm asking you. Otherwise, say goodbye to your beloved daughter)

Matt understood nothing, but with the tone employed and this look between the two men, he knew in some ways that it was a kind of a fight, but he didn't know why. It was Bulgarian, he was sure about this. In any case; this would fit since they were all Bulgarian.

"Chudesno. Shte go napravya. No az kazvam ti: tova e losha ideya. Toĭ se nuzhdae ot grizhi, i to skoro." (Alright. I will do it. But I'm telling you: this is a bad idea. He needs care, now)

"Tova ne e kakvo moga vi pomoli da napravya. Pomolikh vi da se zabavlyavate s toĭ." (That's not what I asked you to do. I asked you to have fun)

"Chudesno." (Okay)

The two men approached, Yuri stopping in front of his face while Oleg kneeled to be at his level.

"I want to give you one last chance, Matthew Casey: you give me what I want, and I do nothing", he said, knowing that Matt was never going to talk. "Well, you have three choices, because I kind of lied yesterday: either you give me what I want, or I make sure to hurt your tiny girlfriend and your family, or…"

He paused, turning his head toward Yuri and nodded. Having closed his eyes a little, Matt reopened them to the sound of a zip close to his ear. He saw a pants fall down, closely followed by a poorly washed underwear. He looked up to see what was going on, but what he saw repulse him: this man he didn't know was naked in front of him, and he was having an erection.

"Or you open your mouth", Oleg finished, smiling.

Disgust and fear invaded him. Three choices then: either he talked, or he killed Gabby and his relatives, or he was tortured. Deep down, he weak voice told him that he had no other choice. He knew this voice, he trusted it. It kept telling him to hold on, to not give up all hope of being found. He closed his eyes, not thinking necessarily about what he should do, but mainly about what he was supposed to do. He raised his head, the smell of this… Disgusting thing gave him the urge to throw up. He never thought of experiencing this someday. It disgusted him. But he was willing to do anything to protect his family and the one he loved. And the girls from the trafficking as well. His eyes still closed, he opened his mouth. He heard Oleg and Yuri laugh.

"He have chosen? You would rather have this in your mouth and your ass, than to say a word to me? You prefer to protect your family and get tortured for them?"

Matt was determined. He opened his eyes and faced his captors, showing them that he wasn't afraid of them. They could do everything, he wouldn't talk. Oleg nodded to Yuri, he could start. So, he grabbed his hair with a firm hand, and put the other one under his chin. His hands were cold, frozen.

"First and last warning: you bite and you can say goodbye to your girlfriend", Yuri assured, trying to scare him.

Matt swallowed back the saliva he still had, reopened his mouth and waited. His stomach tightened, his heart beat faster, his breathing became shallow. He was waiting his sentence. And slowly, this thing he found repulsive came on his lips, then on his teeth, on his tongue. It was cold, hard, filthy. He wondered how a woman could love this. He closed his eyes, let himself being touched, being tortured. This thing rammed deeper, very slowly, it approached his glottis. He was now breathing through his nose, but even so, he was barely breathing. He felt something stirring inside his mouth. Like a tickle. He felt like choking as he was holding his breath now. This thing kept moving forward, coming play with his glottis, even further. He felt the tears coming up to his eyes and he held them as he could. This thing came out a moment. He could finally breathe, but he didn't open his eyes.

"So? You still don't want to talk to me?"

He wanted so much to tell Yuri and Oleg to go to hell, but holding back his urge to vomit was using all his strength and his attention.

"Yuri? Please, continue."

It came back to his lips, his teeth, on his tongue, then his glottis. But this time, it went further. The urge to throw up was bigger. The back-and-forth made him cough. This time, he felt another part of the body of his torturer with his lips and the tip of his nose. He could now feel the bottom of his belly. This man was crazy. And this thing… Was too big for him. He felt something coming from his stomach to his throat, passing along his glottis to going out of his body. It was disgusting, but Yuri immediately pulled back his sex. It made Matt cough through his inspirations he was trying to take.

"Yuri? Wait a minute."

His eyes still closed, he felt his head going down. Yuri stopped holding it.

"Oleg, you are sure it's his first time? Your toy's really… Good at it."

His toy. Matt shivered. This is what he became after hours and hours of torture. A toy. A simple thing.

"You think you can try something else later?"

"Yeah… Later, maybe. When he'll be ready."

Matt opened his eyes, his mouth sill slightly open to take some breaths. He was looking down, bile still coming out of his mouth.

"You didn't feed him as I can see…"

"Why I would?"

"He will suffer, Oleg."

"Don't care, not my problem. It's a part of torture."

He felt the hand of Yuri grip his hair, the other under his chin again. He forced himself to keep his mouth closed, but this awful thing forced him to reopen it. It did the same route for the third time, but this time, these up-and-comings was much faster. Matt held his breath again, he closed his eyes, frowned and felt himself cry. I was seeing the face of Gabby, the face of his brother Kelly, the face of all his friends, his family. Of his big family. He couldn't betray them. Not like this. He didn't have the right. Even if this time, I thought he will burst, he couldn't endanger them. The up-and-comings continued to accelerate, his breathing was still cut off, and suddenly, everything stopped. This thing he hated to much was deep down his throat, he felt it move, he heard Yuri emitting a cry of joy and intense pleasure. Then came a horribly salty taste to his buds. It was hot, salty, horrible, humiliating. Matt was no longer able to describe what he was feeling in this moment. He didn't know if it was disgust, humiliation, shame, hatred. This forced himself to swallow the whitish substance before Yuri came out his mouth. He coughed, spat, vomited. He was crying in silence. He heard this awful man put his clothes back in place. Then he tapped the head of Matt and put himself at the height of his face.

"If you are wise, next time we'll try something else."

The worst of it, he said this to him with a huge smile. Oleg came to take away the barbed wire around his wrists and left him on the board. It was the extra torture, the extra humiliation. This could not last...

* * *

In the hallway, Nikolaï was patiently waiting the guardians to fall asleep or to be in the room to act. He had a very short time to hope going out of this hideout and run away with Trish, the woman he loved. The one who had the keys was Dimitar, the guy he was afraid the most after Oleg and Nesbitt. But the latter wasn't there. He was in a safe place since his release, he didn't want to get the anyone's attention, especially the cops'. He had given orders in Bulgarian and encoded to not be spotted, and since, he was hiding. And Oleg was with Matt, so he had a chance. As Dimitar was sleeping, he took the hardest and heaviest thing he could find and struck him a huge blow to the head, probably not strong enough to kill him, but enough to knock him out. He sought all over his jacket, in his trouser pockets before finding the key of Trish's cell. He ran as fast as he could with the least possible noise, trembling like a leaf when he started opening the door.

"Nikolaï? What are you doing?"

"It's time. I knocked out Dimitar, and the others are with Matt. We have to go", he explained, whispering.

"Not without Matt. They will kill him if they take us."

"They won't. Come on. We have to go, and explain to the cops that Matt is here."

"But when they will understand that we're no longer there, they will move him!"

"They are closely watched, and they know it. Get him out means get arrested for them. If we talk to them fast, there is a chance for Matt to get free before Oleg kills him. You understand? You and Matt are the only one able to bring down the trafficking. We need to stop all this."

Trish knew what he meant, they already had enough talked about this. But they had agreed to take Matt with them, and it bothered her to abandon him in here, at the mercy of Oleg and his cruelty. However, her only way to get out of this and hope to save him was to run away, right here right now.

"Okay."

He opened the door slowly, trying to not get it grind and alert someone. Once out there, they went to the secret passage, the one used by Oleg and Nesbitt to enter and leave this hideout, but it was padlocked.

"Fuck!"

Nikolaï was desperate, such as Trish.

"What do we do now?"

He thought, trying to find a solution. One came in mind, but it was highly risky.

"You are ready to run? Very fast?"

She nodded and looked down at her feet. She had no shoes, but it didn't matter. She had to get free, and she was ready to suffer for that.

"What- are you thinking about?"

"I will destroy this padlock with Dimitar's gun. It will make some noise, so he'll have to run fast because they'll get in our asses. You understand?"

"Yes."

They shared one last kiss before anything else. Nikolaï took the gun and shoot on the padlock to shatter it. Once done, they removed the chains and opened the passage while the men who were with Matt were already out of the cell and were pursuing them. To have some extra time, he closed the passage and then ran, grabbing Trish's hand. Running as fast as they could, they heard some shots fired at them. They screamed, Trish was crying, she was scared. They were scared. They didn't want to get caught, otherwise it was death for them. They preferred to die while running, enjoying this little freedom rather than die with a bullet in the head, murdered in a dark and gloomy room, like the one where Matt was. Still hearing the shots fired at them, Nikolaï collapsed to the ground, screaming in pain. He'd been shot in the leg.

"Nikolaï! Skŭpa!" (Nikolaï! Honey!)

Trish turned to him, he looked at her with a glimpse of pain on his face. She was ready to kneel next to him to get him up, but Nik knew that he would become a dead weight for her beloved, and if so, they would be both dead, and Matt as well.

"Ne se trevozhi za men. Byagaĭ! Otivam!" (Don't worry about me. Run! Hurry!)

She understood. She realized that it was too late for Nik, she realized that it was signing his death. But they had sacrificed everything to get to enjoy this freedom, they couldn't fall together. Her best friend Katya had died trying to bring down the trafficking, she had no other choice. She cried even more, shivering from head to toe.

"Obicham te." (I love you)

"Obicham te." (I love you)

She looked at him one last time, engraving this image of Nikolaï with a smile, happy to give his life for her. She would never forget. Never.


	8. reunion

HelloOo everyone! I am so glad to see the amount of reviews for the last chapter! It gave me chills to read them. I remind you something: you can also give me some negative points (so that I can read even better next time). As I have plenty of reviews, I had more inspiration and I wrote three other chapters (including this one, of course).

I stopped making 2 chapters for one day (one for the relatives' POV and for Matt's POV) and I start with this chapter to incorporate everyone's feelings and POV. And I will also included some medical terms (obviously) that I will explain/define within the chapter (and if I can't among it, I will define them in an A/N at the end of the chapter).

Is that clear for you or not at all? :D Well, you will see what I meant by reading this seventh chapter then ^^

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Here are the answers to your reviews:

 **XxDawsey:** Thank you for the compliment, I am glad to know that my writing is good for you

 **namine redfield:** I know, shame on me! Matt lived a hell because of me! But don't worry, it will no longer get worse (sort of)

 **Justicerocks:** As XxDawsey, thank you for the compliment! As you know me now, I want to include the more details possible, but sometimes it's hard (you know what I mean?). That's why I love writing drama ^^

 **belletane:** I think it's your first review for this story, and I am glad to read it ^^ RESCUE TIME IS ON! THIS CHAPTER

 **Gaellicious89:** I know you're French _as me_, but as you left a review in English, I will answer in English ^^ Of course Matt's strong! You want more? Read this chapter then :D

 **jewel2687:** That was the aim of the previous chapter (to see what was going on in Casey's mind). But as you could see and understand, some people cared for him in this hell (such as Trish, Nikolaï and Yuri _in a way_). And thank you for the "great job" ^^

 **Edelmira Gil:** As usual, I had to use a translator, but that's okay ^^ I partially understood on my own your review (it's getting better, huh?). Ahem... Don't worry my dear, Matt will be found in time, and the girls will be free as well (I am not THIS drama girl)

 **texterlover:** He will be found by Voight and Antonio, and sent to ChicagoMED (obviously). But you can guess, he's not really in a good shape...

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It's time to read ^^

* * *

 **Chapter 7: reunion**

Antonio was waiting for the green light from his boss to forcibly enter into this closed space, his rifle in hand. He was eager to fire, a finger on the trigger, ready to silence those who were responsible for Matt's missing and his torture. And thus, for over three endless days. The paramedics were there in case it would be the good hideout, this place where Matt was being kept. Hatred in the eyes, he was staring at Voight carefully. He was waiting for this moment, when the sergeant would give him the order to enter and shoot on sight. Everyone was in place for at least five minutes when Voight finally ordered to enter. Antonio took particular pleasure to break the door with his left foot and all the strength he had, then burst into a cold and damp room. Dirty water was dripping from the ceiling, a moldy smell filling the nostrils of all the cops as they were moving with their flashlights on because there was no lights. In front of them, some other guys entered, shooting at them. They were three. Antonio stooped, turning off his flashlight and crawling over them. The smell of mold was even more present, but he held his breath. Voight had explained that he could shoot straight in the head, he had free hand. And that was what Antonio was looking for: the death of those guys. He put himself on one side, shooting one of the men in his temple, then stooped again after taking a big breath, and continued his way to the other men. Voight shot in turn, right in the head of the second guy, covering Antonio, and the latter took pleasure to kill the last man. He shot him in the arm so that he dropped his gun and put him on his knees. Everyone was looking at them now. When the man burst into a laugh in front of Antonio, it couldn't help but to pull the trigger. His body collapsed on the ground with a dull echo, startling every police officer.

"What you saw tonight, it was self-defense. The one who says otherwise, I make sure his career at the CPD is over. Got it?"

Voight was protecting Antonio. Because he knew that by disarming this monster, he shouldn't have to fire. The other cops nodded, aware that these men deserved to die. Their flashlights on again, then moved toward an iron gate completely rusty and locked with a padlock. Antonio shot on it to destroy it and the sergeant took off the chain. Antonio set up just in front of the door, ready to shoot in case. He motioned he was ready, the other cops as well. Voight launched a huge kick in the door to open it. At the bottom of the room, there was something. Antonio put his gun down, advancing cautiously toward this thing. Slowly, it became clearer. It was beige, almost white, slight dirty yellow at one end, stained red and black all over. And then, he realized what it was.

"Oh God…"

He dropped his gun, running toward this thing he recognized.

"Bring the medics! HURRY!"

He had recognized Matt. This thing on the ground, it was his brother-in-law. With his trembling hands, he took his head moistened with cold sweat, tapping his cheeks repeatedly.

"Matt, wake up! Matt!"

But he was unresponsive. His swollen eyes were closed, his face was covered in blood and cuts. And it was the same for his whole body.

"WHERE ARE THESE DAMN PARAMEDICS?!"

Antonio paid very attention to the barbed wired keeping his members attached, so that they couldn't sink more into his ankles and wrists. He cut the bonds, not removing them until the paramedics said so. One of them came and stopped at the door.

"Holly Molly…"

Despite his shallow breathing and totally consumed by anxiety, Antonio turned his head towards the entrance and stared at the frozen man in front of him.

"Instead of ogling, come help me!"

The man shook his head, looking down at Antonio, then removed his bag from his shoulder and ran to him. He got on his knees despite the cold and damp ground, trying to put Casey on his back.

"Careful with the bonds! They… They used barbed wires…"

The paramedic looked closely at the injuries to his ankles and wrists.

"It doesn't seem deep. We can remove them safely."

Antonio didn't wait: carefully, he removed the wires and threw them on the other side of the room. Afterwards, the paramedic resumed his work.

"Sir? Sir, can you hear me?"

As he had no response, he rubbed his sternum to have a reaction, even a little bit. In vain. Matt was completely unresponsive.

"Damn it, his wrists are bleeding badly."

The PIC gave him two big bandages still wrapped.

"Here, bandage them with this."

Antonio took them, freeing them from their bags, and placed them around his battered wrists while his partner was taking care of his ankles and the second paramedic arrived, completely out of breath.

"Martin, give me his vitals. Now!"

He also threw himself to the ground and began to work. He took three electrodes and placed them carefully on Matt's bare and battered chest, then connected them to the monitor.

"Pulse at 140, BP at 6 over 3."

"Respiratory rate?"

"34. Shallow breathing and O2 sat at 91%."

Even when he was taking care of Matt's injuries, the PIC could do two things at the same time.

"Give him oxygen through a non-rebreather mask, push to fifteen liters and start a filling. Push a low dose of norepinephrine to counter the infection and a sugar bolus to raise his blood sugar as well. And check his body temperature."

Antonio had also noticed that something was wrong: Matt was shivering while he was burning. The second paramedic took a thermometer available in his first aid kit and put it in one of his ears until it beeped.

"102,2."

"He's in shock."

Antonio knew the procedure from his sister, and he knew that a shock in his case meant there was an infection somewhere. He searched everywhere before finding the solution.

"Doc? His back…"

The PIC looked at him, puzzled, before realizing what the police officer meant.

"Let's put him on his side."

Martin, the second paramedic took Matt's head while Antonio and Saleen, the PIC put him on his side. He leaned on him, and let out a cry of horror.

"Oh God… Hold the position", he ordered to Antonio, who remained frozen.

Saleen took as much gauze as he could and placed them gently on Matt's back, Martin wondering what was going on.

"His back is covered in infected wounds. We need to hurry."

He got up to bring the backboard and put him under Matt to gently rest him on it and leave the scene as soon as possible.

"Raise on my count. One, two, three!"

They raised the backboard, put it on the stretcher and started rolling while Antonio was helping them by taking their bags. He followed them to the ambulance before being stopped by Voight.

"Antonio, we need you here. It's a crime scene."

Antonio turned abruptly, staring at his boss.

"My place is with Casey. Right here, right now. If you need me, I will be in the hospital."

After this last sentence, he got into the ambulance, Voight closed the doors and gave the signal to roll. Antonio continued to worry, but he was even more concerned to see the reaction of his sister when she would see Matt, and especially when he would tell her that they found him. In the ambulance, Saleen was doing his best to keep Mat stable, but it wasn't possible.

"I'll set a second line", he said most for himself.

Antonio was too focused on Matt to think about something else. What he'd been through to have such injuries, covering his whole body? He knew a part from the videos, but he also knew that they hadn't shown everything, and it worried him. What he'd really been through… He had taken the hand of his brother-in-law, to show him that he was at his side when he would be conscious at some point, and he got surprised to feel his hand being squeezed. It wasn't strong, but enough to arouse the attention of Antonio. He focused on his face, on his expression despite the oxygen mask, the cuts and bruises. He was frowning slightly, his eyes were moving in all directions, as if he wanted to open them. His heart rate echoing in the back of the ambulance was gradually coming up. He was panicking. Therefore, to reassure him, Antonio squeezed his hand harder, and placed his free hand on his forehead.

"Everything is alright, Matt. It's over. It's all over", he explained in a whisper, as to not scare him more.

Matt had recognized this voice, it was Antonio. He knew it. But after what he went through and also because he wasn't able to move any part of his body, he was still in panic. He was scared to see these bastards coming back, he was scared to be tortured again and be forced to do things he was ashamed now. Somehow, Antonio managed to understand why Matt was so scared. He wasn't aware of the entire story, but he managed every time to put himself in the shoes of the victims, and it was for this that the headquarters thought we was one of the best police officers they had. Because he could read the emotions. And he knew why Matt was so scared of these men.

"It's over, Matt. They're all dead. I killed them, I promise."

The echo in the ambulance calmed down almost instantly, as if finally, Matt had realized that he had been found and rescued. Having Antonio at his side, talking to him and telling him that everything was over, it reassured him, to the point of trying to open his eyes to be sure of this. So slowly, very slowly, his eyelids opened, looking to the right then the left to recognize his new environment. He felt tossed, he could feel a mask on his face, there were two people next to him, and one of them was holding his hand. Everything was too blurry to distinguish anything, but he knew that he was in an ambulance. And even though he couldn't move, it didn't matter now. Antonio had found him, he was safe and free, it was all over. He then closed his eyes, exactly at the moment when the monitor echoed dangerously.

"What the hell is going on!"

Saleen checked all the vitals of his patient, to make sure to not say nonsense.

"Martin, ETA!"

"Less than two minutes!"

"Can you tell me what is happening, damn it!"

"Casey is at the edge of a septic shock. He needs emergency care."

Even if he knew what it meant, Antonio also began to panic. His brother-in-law was lying on the stretcher and he could do nothing useful for him.

"A… A septic shock?"

"His back is heavily infected and the infection is spreading through his bloodstream. We need to move fast."

While the paramedic explained everything, he continued his work, meaning keeping Matt alive until being taken to the ER. Therefore, he took a syringe in his medical kit, and before he could insert it into one of the IV port, Antonio stopped him.

"What is it?"

"A dose of norepinephrine. It will surely accelerate his heart rate, but at least the infection won't spread before we get to the hospital."

Even if he was concerned, he let go his arm so that he could inject the drug into Matt's system. The ambulance stopped almost immediately after. Matt got out to open the doors and help his partner with the stretcher, followed by Antonio. The ER door opened, revealing Dr. Halstead and Dr. Choi.

"It's Casey", he explained before the paramedics could utter a word.

Everyone could see the shock on the doctors' faces, but also relief. They had finally found their colleagues.

"What do we got?" Ethan asked, trying to stay as neutral as possible while they were taking Matt in trauma room 2.

"Thirty-five year old male, in septic shock. Pulse at 176, PB up at 8 over 5, shallow breathing stabilized at 27, O2 sat at 96% with the non-rebreather mask. Two half-dose of norepinephrine and one sugar bolus. Body temperature at 102,2. His back is heavily infected because of numerous untreated wounds."

"Okay, transferring on my count. 1, 2, 3!"

Once on the bed, they removed the backboard and the paramedics left as they had come, leaving Antonio in a corner of the room, watching the doctors and nurses work together on Matt.

"I want a full check-up! CBC, ABG, BMP, quick blood culture, look for any drugs in his body!"

"We need a Foley, and full body x-rays!"

"Full body?" Will stated in astonishment, while his colleague was still giving orders to the nurses hooking Matt to a heart monitor.

"We don't know the extent of the damage. Better to be careful and not miss something."

After several endless minutes and x-rays done, one of the nurses took Antonio out of the trauma room and closed the door, then the curtains. He was soon joined by Lindsey and Halstead, his two teammates.

"You're not at the crime scene?"

"The FBI and Voight are taking care of it", Jay explained to his colleague and friend.

"How is he?"

Antonio sighed, rubbing his forehead. It was something he did nervously when he was stressed or shocked.

"Uh… They are examining him? I don't know, he… He has briefly regained consciousness in the ambulance, but… The paramedics talked about… About septic shock?"

"Oh God…"

Erin placed her left hand over her mouth, horrified by what he just heard. She had lived in the streets for years as a junky, and she'd already seen people die for less than that.

"He's gonna make it, isn't he?"

"I… I really don't know."

* * *

 **A/N:** As I told you before this chapter, I wanted to give you some information (maybe useful but probably useless), but here - When a doctor "welcomes" a patient in the ER, did you ever notice that he was talking unclear with all these abbreviations? So I wanted to give you some definitions of them (those I used in this chapter). The rest of the medical terms are mostly included in the story.

\- CBC means complete blood count. According to wikipedia (English page, I think I wouldn't be able to translate on my own), it is a blood panel requested by a doctor or other medical professional that gives information about the cells in a patient's blood, such as the cell count for each cell type and the concentrations of various proteins and minerals.

\- ABG means arterial blood gas. According to wikipedia (again, sorry), it is a blood gas test of blood from an artery; it is thus a blood test that measures the amounts of certain gases (such as oxygen and carbon dioxide) dissolved in arterial blood and even more (such as pH).

\- BMP means basic metabolic panel. Still according to my main source of information (guess what it is :D), it is a blood test consisting of a set of seven or eight biochemical tests and is one of the most common lab tests ordered by health care providers. It provides key information regarding fluid and electrolyte status, kidney function, blood sugar levels, and response to various medications and other medical therapies.

\- BLOOD CULTURE is employed to detect infections that are spreading through the bloodstream (such as bacteremia, septicemia amongst others).


	9. The unthinkable

Hello hello hello! What a surprise to see these reviews ^^

I know, I ended the last chapter with a little cliffhanger (for me it wasn't really one, but still). So, I decided to update, just to give you answers to your questions. I also included some medical terms and vocabulary in this chapter, but as I said last time, I explained everything (at least, the most possible). I hope you still like this story ^^

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 **XxDawsey:** You know what? As I am working in French (my native language), it's not really a big deal at all. I like writing drama, that's all. But then, when I translate what I just wrote (this time, in English), I can't help but think that I am crazy to write what I wrote! Sometimes, I am like "what the hell, I really wrote that?" It's just a feeling, you know. It's really when I translate I can "see"what I did in French. And for the other part; you will see their reaction in this chapter

 **Justicerocks:** Now that I know what "in-character" means (;-D), yes, I think it could fit in Chicago PD, but as I don't really watch this show, I can't tell you. You want more Antonio? Check this chapter out!

 **Michelle:** Thank you for the "very well written" ^^ You will see her reaction to Casey's condition in this chapter (I promise)

 **namine redfield:** YES, they found him in time! I really hope they can help him as well. You will discover within the next chapters (plural)

 **Edelmire Gil:** I had trouble to understand what you meant (even with a translator), but I got the main part (I hope and I guess). Antonio wanted to be with Matt so that he couldn't be alone IF he would wake up in the ambulance (which he did for a few seconds), and also to be with his sister when she would come in the hospital (this chapter). His wounds (physical, but also psychological) will be hard to heal (as you can understand)

 **texterlover:** I am glad to see that you like my writing. I can tell you that it's all natural. Sometimes it comes and I write, and most of the times it goes (and I can't write a good chapter). But I have enough inspiration these past few days to do what I will do for the next three chapters (including this one). For the last part... I can't really tell you because I quite didn't write it YET, but I got a "lovely" chapter coming soon (next one actually)

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Have a nice reading, dears ^^

* * *

 **Chapter 8: the unthinkable**

Antonio had called his sister Gabriela as soon as he took a seat in the waiting room with Erin and Jay at his side. At the time of speaking, Gabby knew immediately that it was bad because of the tone employed by her brother, but also because she could feel his distress in his voice. She had never heard Antonio speaking like this, not even after his divorce with Laura. In less than twenty minutes, all firefighters had joined the three cops in the ER, emptying the coffee machine in no time, sitting and getting up all the time, crossing their arms and biting their nails. Antonio had explained everything he had understood and hears, whether it was from the paramedics or the physicians. Gabby, Jimmy and Brett, thanks to their paramedic skills, were immediately concerned and had to explain to everyone that a septic shock was never bode well. Minutes passed so slowly, they seemed like hours. Gabby and Kelly were on edge, trying by all possible means at their disposal to have the least information, which could relieve them, but Maggie didn't say anything but to wait for Will and Ethan. But this wasn't enough, quite the contrary. It'd been four days they hadn't seen Matt, not counting the videos received from these haywires, but they needed to see him, to know that it was real, that he was back for good. After a long hour, finally, the doctor came in front of them. They seemed tired, hurt, slew. Everyone got up, encircled them, not asking THE question they all had on their lips. No one wanted to ask this question, no one wanted to ask how was Matt, because they knew he wasn't okay. Will decided to talk first, taking a deep breath to give himself the courage to reveal the truth.

"Casey went into respiratory distress because of his injuries", he began slowly, with a voice he tried to keep as calm as possible. "His lungs are badly bruised and he has several broken and cracked ribs. Add this infection from the untreated wounds in his back…"

"What Will means, is that we've been forced to sedate him and intubate", Dr. Choi continued, seeing that his colleague had a moment of hesitation. "And…"

He hesitated as well when he realized why his colleague stopped in his explanation.

"Tell us. Please."

Gabby begged the two doctors to tell what was the problem, tears ready to flow down her face. They looked each other, then Ethan took a deep breath and continued.

"When we tried to intubate, we noticed something wrong, and we ran additional tests. We…We ran a rape test."

The eyes of firefighters changed suddenly, from anxiety to amazement, then fright.

"He… He's been…"

Gabby couldn't believe what was happening. Her world was falling apart. How these savages did dare to do that…

"We found traces of semen down his throat, but also his rectum. However, we found no trace of obvious struggle."

"Being bounded and tortured, without food and drink, and fighting an infection, of course, there are no signs of a struggle", Kelly stated of a rage he was trying to hide by speaking as calmly as possible and clenching his fists.

Trying to not pay attention, Ethan continued.

"His right shoulder trapezius muscle is torn on about an inch, because of the bounds of his wrists, and he will need surgery to remove any dead tissue, but for now, he's too weak to survive the surgery."

"We took him up to the ICU, where he will be taken care by the head of the unit, Dr. Bennett, and where he will regain strength before the surgery."

"And uh… It would take… How long?"

"It depends on him now. The time to be stabilized, at least. It would take a few days."

"And… He's been drugged?" Erin asked with her hoarse voice, taking care to note everything the doctors said to incorporate this to the file of the case.

"Apart from the drugs provided by the paramedics, we found no substance or drugs in his body, which is good news."

"Can we see him?"

"Dr. Bennett is the one who can tell you this now. Casey is being settled in a room, but in view of his instability and the infection, I think that the visits will be very limited and strict. But as I said, Dr. Bennett is the one who decides."

"Thank you."

The doctors left the firefighters and the three police officers. They were all staring at each other, shocked. Antonio then took his baby sister in his arms, as for him to show his support in this terrible ordeal. She allowed herself to shed the tears she held back for so long, tired.

"I hope they will pay for this, for what they did", Kelly stated, kicking in one of the chairs.

"They're dead. I killed them. There is just Nesbitt now, and he will rot in jail for what he did to Matt and the girls", Antonio assured.

He was angry too, he had the rage of justice. If his sister was bad, he was bad, it was a link they shared, no matter the distance and their differences. A cell phone rang, Jay's. It was Voight, who was asking the team to join him at the address he had sent them to dislodge Nesbitt and arrest him, this time for good thanks to the testimony of Trish. Jay and Erin left the waiting room, giving their sympathy to Gabby and Kelly, and leaving Antonio with his sister. They knew he wasn't going away from her. After several endless minutes, Severide raised his head and saw a doctor arriving at the nursing desk. He was talking slowly with a file in his hands while the nurse was nodding and typing on the computer. Instinctively, he got up and rushed at him.

"How is Matt?"

The physician startled and looked straight Severide in the eye. The latter could see the surprise in the eyes of the doctor, and the doctor could see his concern and anger. He swallowed while all the firefighters had gotten up, all worried and waiting for an answer. He sighed and took a deep breath. He smiled, giving the file to the nurse and tended his arm and his hand to Severide.

"I am Dr. Bennett, I am taking care of your friend. May have a seat? All of you? Please?"

The firefighters sat down after Severide had shaken hands with the physician and had nodded.

"So… I will repeat the question: How is Matt Casey?"

The doctor didn't flinch or jump, this time not surprised by the question and its brutality. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath.

"I'm not gonna lie to you, it would serve no purpose. He's in critical condition and we're having trouble to stabilize him. I will no doubt repeat what my colleagues told you, but he is very weak and due to the infection and his bruised lungs, they have stopped working correctly. He had been starved and thirsty, and… Badly tortured. He has several minor fractures, a lot of cuts and bruises all over his body and his right shoulder trapezius muscle is torn. We are rehydrating him with fluids and nutrients intravenously, we are feeding him through a nasogastric tube, and we are giving him suitable antibiotics to fight the infection contracted by his injuries in his back. He will get physically better within the next few days. But I think he will need your help and your support to overcome what he has been through."

"Halstead and Choi told us that he will need surgery."

"Well, I hope I won't get to this point, and I also hope that he will be strong enough to fight the infection and heal without surgery. I can authorize two of you to see him for a few minutes, but not more. As I said earlier, he's not out of the wood."

Kelly turned to Gabby, then to his chief.

"Kelly, Gabby. Go, you are his closest relatives. You should be at his side."

He nodded, following Dr. Bennett in the hallways of the ICU with Gabby. The physician took great care to settle a room close to the nursing desk and his own office in order to react as soon as possible, just in case, like he said to the two friends.

"I know that you are used to face and handle such extreme situations, but seeing one of the relatives in critical condition, kept alive by machines, it's not really an experience you want to live. I give you five minutes, top."

The doctor opened the door of the room. The first thing Kelly and Gabby heard was these fast and relentless beeps, confirming that Matt was indeed alive. Then came the mechanical hiss from the breathing machine. They looked at each other, and decided to go in together, hand in hand, trying to give mutual courage. Slowly, they advanced toward that bed, in which a thin form was lying with closed eyes. Many cushions had been affixed in his back to avoid any friction between the cloth and his back, and also to elevate his right shoulder and help relieve any pressure on the torn muscle. His wrists were surrounded with large oozing bandages, and it undoubtedly had to be the same for his ankles. Two IVs were planted into his flesh, providing both antibiotics to fight the infection and essential nutrients for his body to regain strength. An oxymeter was crocheted on his right index finger, allowing the nursing and medical staff to keep an eye on the oxygen saturation as well as his heart rate. Coupled with the electrocardiogram attached to his body through three electrodes, and also the BP cuff around his left arm, checking his blood pressure, they could keep a close watch of all his vital parameters, which was very important in the case of Matt. His face was covered in cuts and bruises, and despite this, Gabby could see the paleness of his skin. The tube Halstead had managed to slide down his throat was allowing the breathing machine to mechanically inflate and deflate Matt's lungs, because he couldn't do it on his own at the time. The tube was secured with a tube-holding device blocking his mouth, so that he couldn't bite it if he woke up, the balloon cuff line dangling down his cheek. A nasogastric tube was going out of his right nostril to introduce fluids into his stomach, firmly maintained with tape both on his cheek and on the medical gown he was wearing. It was necessary, because, of course, he couldn't eat at the moment. His fever had been stabilized at around 102, but cold sweat was still flowing profusely from his forehead and stained the pillow under his head. They barely had the time to sit, the five minutes had already passed and the physician had reopened the door. Then, as slowly as they came in here, they got out, joining all the other firefighters still in the waiting room, with a hesitant step and heavy and trembling legs. Herrmann was the first one to stand up, welcoming his two friends as he could.

"So? How is your man?"

Gabby could no longer hold this front mask. Her hormones were already quite present in her body, driving her crazy, but the fact of both having Matt back and knowing that something could take him away from her again any time, it was too much to bear. She burst: she started sobbing, still holding as many tears as she could, before ending up crying endlessly on Antonio when he took her in his arms. Meanwhile, Kelly was torn between the relief of knowing Matt out of reach of these damn Bulgarians, the satisfaction of seeing Gabby finally show her emotions, gradually pulling down the emotional barriers she had built after Matt's missing, and the sadness of having seen his best friend, his brother, in such a state. The image of this body lying in that bed, trying to stay alive and working with the help of machines, it was something hard, something stuck in his brain, in his memory. He also wanted to burst, but it wasn't the image they all had of him at the firehouse.

"He uh… He is… Oh God…"

He could no longer bear this heavy burden as well. He passed his hand over his mouth, holding his tears, worn by the emotion. All realized how bad it was when they saw the two friends like this, bursting into tears. Because in normal time, they were the ones showing no emotions at all, with Matt of course. Nobody said anything for a while, lulled by Gabby's cries she was trying to choke on his brother's chest. It was something she never wished to live at any moment, she would have never imagined this terrible moment one day. It was unthinkable, it was a nightmare.

* * *

 **A/N:** Okay so here is one medical term I wanted to give you.

-Trapezius muscle is one of the two large superficial muscles that extend longitudinally from the occipital bone (the bone in the back of the skull) to the lower thoracic vertebrae (they are the vertebrae "closing" your rib cage) and laterally from the spine to the scapula (shoulder blade). Its functions are to move the scapulae and support the arm. _As Casey had been beaten badly on his back and he had been bonded + sometimes suspended, this trapezius muscle ended up torn, but it's not a complete torn muscle, so don't worry, his arm is not a "dead" part of his body the time for it (the muscle) to heal._


	10. over there

Hello everyone! Oah, I am glad to see all the reviews you left me after the last chapter ^^

I am completely sorry, I had my next three chapters, but I didn't have time to registrer them in a USB key, my laptop stopped working (RIP my dear laptop!). I've lost a week of work (in my fanfictions), I want to cry :'( BUT I didn't give up: as I gave a sneak peek to someone (it was her birthday, so...), I took it back and I just tried to write it again with just my mind and this sneak peek. I think I changed some point, but I went where I wanted to, so I am happy ^^

I decided to write a big part of this chapter with a special POV (I like this one) _you will find out what I meant by reading it_

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 **WritingChicago:** My advice? Grab more tissue for this chapter and the next ones ^^

 **XxDawsey:** I think I completely lost you *Evil laugh* THANK YOU, really. I am highly glad :D

 **Namine redfield:** Trust me, I won't take him down more. Well... Not yet haha As you will realize soon, Matt is deeply affected by the situation he has gone through

 **Justicerocks:** As I said previously, I tried to explain all the medical terms and vocabulary (because most of the time, you see doctors talking but you don't understand). This chapter is _I think_ even more emotional than the last one

 **Edelmira Gil:** Uh... I guess you didn't write the whole the review you wanted to leave lol But thank you anyway

 **Tizza94:** You loove this story? Well... Check out the other stories I have written so far :D I am sure you will like them as well

 **jewel2687:** Yes, I have forgotten to translate few sentences (as I work in French and then, I translate in English). In fact, only Kelly, Gabby, Antonio, Gabby and Jay are aware about what Matt really went through (they had been taken apart in a smaller room _like a reste room_ where they could talk with Ethan and Will). They are the only ones aware about the sexual assault of Casey by Oleg's band. So, when I talked about firefighters in this passage, I meant Gabby and Kelly, not anyone else (in fact, I was tired and I didn't pay attention lol). Still, I am glad to read your review and to know that you like this story as well ^^

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I hope you will like it as the previous chapter, and please: leave me some review as well :D

* * *

 **Chapter 9: over there**

In the first hour the next morning, Gabby and Kelly rushed back to the hospital to try to approach Matt and to watch over him the time it should. What they had seen the day before had deeply affected them, but it didn't change their motivation: they wanted to be with Matt in this hard time. Entering the ICU hand in hand, they went immediately to the nurse's station for news. Fortunately, the nurse in charge who was on shift was still the same as the day before, she knew the case of their friend because she was the one who had to take care of him. Asking how he was, Sonia smiled and explained that Matt had been sent to an exam room to know if his body was indeed to treatment. From what the two friends understood, his fever had dropped slightly during the night, showing signs of combat from his body against the infection. His vitals were still alarming, but the numerous drugs and care provided had helped to get them stabilized, which was already a big step forward. Unfortunately, the nurses didn't know more and couldn't relieve anxiety gushing from Gabby and Kelly, and she advocated them to wait Dr. Bennett, who had to come back soon. So, they waited, both concerned about the answer the physician could give them. After twenty long minutes, the doctor appeared, accompanying the bed in which Matt was, still totally medically asleep. From what they could see, his physical shape didn't change at all, but they had to be sure.

"Hey doc."

"Hello, uh... Kelly? And... Gabby, right?"

The two friends smiled while the doctor invited them to follow him and the nurses were taking care of Matt. He offered them a seat before sitting on his own chair.

"How is Matt?"

"Well, he's a real fighter! I thought that the antibiotic therapy would take much more time to take effect and that his body would hardly fight the infection, but it seems that I was wrong. His fever has decreased, showing that his body is indeed fighting the infection, and antibiotics have helped to counter the expansion of septicemia in his bloodstream and sepsis from the wounds on his back."

"So... he's better?" Gabby hesitated, torn between joy and skepticism.

"His vitals are still in the red level, but he's responding well to treatment. I conceive, I stay cautious, but I plan to start reducing sedation by this afternoon."

"You... You want to wake him up?" Kelly wondered, seeing that his friend was speechless. "He's been here for what... Ten hours? And you want to wake him up already?"

"Keep him more than forty hours in an induced coma would be a huge mistake after what he went through. He would already be in loss of spatial cues at his awakening and in his case, this wouldn't be a great idea to add a loss of temporal cues. The time for him to be fully awake, it would take at least a day, probably more."

Kelly nodded, then stared at Gabby. She seemed lost, shocked, horrified. In fact, too much emotion and feelings were jostling each other because of hormones still increasing inside of her. Each feelings were up by ten, maybe much more.

"You... He won't be in pain?"

"No, we do our best for Matt to feel any pain."

"And... Can we stay with him? The time for him to wake up?"

"You can stay at his side the time of visiting hours, but not more. I know you want to stay with him, which I understand perfectly, but I think he will stay out of it tonight. He is under high dose medication, his body will work in slow motion."

Gabby and Kelly weren't unaware that they couldn't stay near Matt overnight, but at least, they would be there for him all day.

"Thanks doc."

* * *

A noise. Shrill and dull. A grinding noise. Was it the reality or just… Or just another nightmare? Everything was so confused, so blurred and out of reach. Everything he could remember was this endless torture, this immeasurable pain, these immense chills which roamed his body, especially his back. But now, it didn't hurt, he was hot, but no chills anymore, he felt… Good. Was it the sensation you had when you died? All the aches were going away, and this feeling of well-being remained with you? As if you forgave life for this misadventure? These long periods of torture made him accept death as it could come, he realized that it was the end for him when he had closed his eyes for the last time, without being able to reopen them. Then why he could still hear these different and horrible sounds? Why he was hearing voices, many voices? Why his body was reacting while not commanding anything? It was disturbing, incomprehensible. He tried to move, in vain. His body wasn't really reacting, but he felt something. It was cold, rooted in what appeared to be his own hand, squeezing it at a steady rhythm. Was it another hand, or something similar? Was it someone he knew? He was paralyzed, but from what he could understand, his sensations were still there. He could hear, smell and touch. He tried to focus on a sense in particular. First, touch. He felt no pain, just this heat enveloping him. Focusing even more, he could feel that his right side was higher than his left side, probably through pillows or related forms. His left arm was squeezed at regular intervals, but he couldn't count. There was something affixed to one of his fingers of his right hand, but impossible to say what. Some things were stung his arms, at the level of his elbows, from what he thought. Something else was irritating the back of his throat and bothered him a lot, or at least it seemed to bother him, and there was another thing, which seemed to obstruct his mouth. Then, he tried to focus on his sense of smell. Where he was, it no longer smelt mold or moisture. It didn't feel more stained and polluted drops of water fall on his naked body, there were no longer these smells of vomit, blood and urine at the same time. Actually, now there were these horrible smells of bleach and antiseptic, mixed with a soft and beautiful smell. He had already smelt the latter, but he didn't remember where exactly. However, he was sure of having smelt it before. He felt soothed, cradled by this fragrance, free from any influence. Was it heaven? Was it the odor everyone could smell when they died? To be sure of this, he focused on the sounds around him. There was something beeping next to him, a kind of hiss seemed to try to make him deaf, and there were these voices, many voices talking from the beginning. Curious, he concentrated on them.

"Are you sure of what you're doing doc?"

"I am sure, yes. It's been twenty hours since his admission and physically, he's getting better. It is time to wake him up. I already lowered sedation half way."

"Yes, physically, he's getting better, I get it, but did you think about his mind, his head? He's been..."

Was it the voice of Kelly? Was it a reassuring voice supposing to guide him through this tunnel all described as white and bright while he was in a kind of dark and oppressing place? He was scared. He couldn't move, he had no control over his body of his mind, everything was so blurred and stressful. Especially because there were voices he didn't recognize.

"And I am telling you that Matt won't like his awakening, doc! I know him better than anyone else, he will be stressed more than anything else!"

This voice sounding like Kelly's voice, his best friend, was right: he didn't already like his awakening, and he was already stressed. He didn't want this world, it sounded terrifying. He wanted to flee, but he couldn't. It was another torture for Matt. Was it a new way for Oleg to torture him? Try to cure him and make him hallucinate in order to extract crutial information to the survival of this trafficking? Was it a way to make him crazy by removing all his control of himself and his environment? Before he could even notice it, his body and mind had fallen asleep, and when he woke up again, the place where he was was quiet, except these constant beeps and this awful hiss bursting his eardrum. He seemed to have more control of his body, each part of him seemed less heavy than before. There were no longer voices, for now. Soon, he heard a noise similar to an opening door, then nothing for what looked like a long time for Matt.

"Hey doc."

"Kelly. Still nothing?"

"Nada."

"Our sleeping beauty is taking his time to wake up... However, it shouldn't last very long. Look at his hands."

His hands? What his hands had?

"They... They're moving? Reflex?"

They were moving? Deep down, Matt wanted, wished to move, but he found it impossible. Was it his subconscious who was controlling his own body now? And suddenly, a dull pain seized his back and shoulder. It was an incredibly horrible pain, as if someone was scratching his back while his skin was raw. Some time later, he finally felt something in his hand, a kind of a warm hand. Very strongly, he focused and tried to squeeze what he thought and believed to be a hand. He had to do this, because the pain was too much to bear for him.

"Uh... Doc? He... He's squeezing my hand."

"Oh, our fighter is awake? I am sorry Matt, I know it must be very painful, but you have to resist a few more seconds."

This voice he didn't know was giving him orders? Was it another guy from Oleg's band who was torturing him? No, Kelly would never accept that. Unless... Unless Kelly is a part of his imagination, a presence reassuring him in order to be put in trust and he could reveal all his secrets? The pain he felt faded for the most part, but it was still there.

"Matt? I will give you something to ease your pain, okay? You could also fall asleep, but when he will wake up again, you will be able to move more. I promise."

Very soon, the surrounding noise lost their intensity before sinking into silence. They all came back quickly, and even if he still thought that this place was too dark and scary, his world seemed less vague, more accessible.

"You are sure he no longer needs the vent? I mean... It won't hurt hurt him? You said a day ago that his lungs were badly bruised."

"He's been admitted for a short time, yes. But I trust our man, he can breathe on his own, otherwise I wouldn't have proposed to pull it out."

One day? What he had experienced had lasted one day? It was impossible... Were they playing with time to make him live hell?

"If he has a hard time to breathe, the non-rebreather mask is here for this."

"What is it?"

"Oh, uh... It's albuterol nebulizer. It's a drug used to dilate bronchi so that oxygen can circulate better in the lungs. It's used by asthmatics, to simplify things."

"It won't hurt him?"

"Quite the contrary, it's here to stop the pain."

This voice he knew sounded so considerate of him, he could feel his concern for him. Was it true, or all this was only a bad trip? He did not want to be in this cage, never again, but what if he was still there? This semblance of warm hand was still in his, and he was surprised to tighten much more easily than the last time.

"Doc? He squeezes my hand again."

"Well, it's time to remove that tube, now."

Soon, something came to scrape his throat, and his lungs started burning intensely. It was a horrible feeling, so unbearable that he would prefer being tortured for hours like before rather than being tortured like this. He thought he was suffocating, burning from the inside. He had never felt such a sharp pain in his life.

"Do something doc!"

Immediately, a strange thing had been placed over his face, creating a huge fresh air wind running through his skin and rushing into his mouth and nose. Within a few seconds, the sensation of burning tightening his chest gradually disappeared and the sensation of suffocation took the same way. Even if he really didn't realize it, he had hung Kelly's hand very tightly, much more than before, to show him how the pain was unbearable.

"It's over, Matt. It's all over."

Was it really done? Was it the end of this torture he was experiencing, or the end of everything? Were they trying to convince him to let go of his life? Was it to relax him?

"That's it. Breathe. Quick and shallow breath. That's it."

He still felt wrapped, cherished by this voice terribly sounding like Kelly. He was too curious, he wanted to know if it was just a hallucination to pass the time more easily or if it was reality. He concentrated a lot, trying to control the movement of his eyes and his eyelids to open them. It took long, interminable minutes before understanding how to do it, but once found, he slowly opened his eyes.

"Hey."

He closed them immediately, blinded by the light above him and burning his retina. He had had time to glimpse the outside world. He was in a warm and comforting bed, indeed on his left side, with a kind of oxygen mask placed over his face. He was in a white room, with no color, lifeless. Was it what heaven looked like? No, no, it wasn't paradise. They had been spruced him up to be tortured again and again. It was a new torture from Oleg, he was sure of this, there was no other explanation. It was hell, he was still over there.


	11. free

HelloOo dear fanfiction readers! I hope you are all going well ^^ It's been a month since my last update, but I barely have time to write, and... Well, since my laptop died a month and a half ago, I had to write this chapter down AGAINn and it takes time. **I am sorry.** But here i tis, fresh and new, ready to be read by you :D

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 **XxDawsey:** Indeed, Matt will need a lot of support, but as you can guess, something it will be very hard for him to allow this support. And Kelly will always have Matt's back (uh... meaning he will always be there for him)

 **Justcierocks:** I am (almost) always right my dear! Grab more tissues (advice) ;)

 **Namine redfield:** When you wake up from a coma (induced or not), there is always this confusion for the patient. But the more you "fight", the more it's good (yeah, it's weird, but it means that you are taking aware of the situation and your environment). He will have some help for sure, but as I said earlier, it will be hard for him to allow this support

 **Texterlover:** My advice is for you to go buy some tissues right away :D No kidding, it's emotional, but confusion can make you think that you're hallucinating

 **Edelmira Gil:** I keep you "in tension"? No way, I don't do that *EVIL LAUGH* I'm trying to write the least detail, so that you all can understand the situation, the character's feelings and emitions, etc... It's hard, you know? I am glad to see and know that you LOVE this new writing of this story ^^

 **Jewel2687:** Yes, he's confused and scared (I woul say frightened) because of what he's been through. And I only mentionned Severide as Matt was waking up because Gabby wasn't here: she has Molly's you know^^ She wasn't there because she decided to go to work during Matt's awakening

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I hope you will enjoy this chapter and leave me a review :D

* * *

 **Chapter 10: free**

Over the hours, Matt became more and more aware, taking more into account his close environment. He preferred to keep his eyes shut, trying to sound asleep, although no one had been duped by this kind of illusion he had created. He didn't want this world made of whites and noises he didn't recognize, he didn't want to meet Oleg again or one of his henchmen. When he heard the slightest noise, he felt his heart tighten and beat faster, his breathing became a bit more shallow and that didn't escape Kelly or Sonia, the nurse who was taking care of him. Then, to relax a little, she spoke to him, she explained her slightest gesture, and that was what she was doing for each patient she had in her charge. But Matt was not an ordinary patient, she knew it. She didn't face such a situation every day. When Kelly had left the room because the visiting hours were over, when the nurses and doctors weren't in the room, Matt always took the luxury of opening his blue eyes. He didn't like the sight, but being in total darkness, plunged like in a thick fog, it frightened him even more than this little white room. From his point of view, it seemed larger than the black and moldy cage in which he had previously been locked up. It was a stressful environment from which he wanted to escape, but he knew he didn't have the strength yet. Gently, he moved his fingers, clenched his fists, he gradually regained the strength he had lost in a few days, weakened by the lack of water, food, torture and infection he had contracted. Sonia had explained to the second nurse in charge, Serena, the case of Matt, giving her every detail to calm his fears. They both had the necessary experience to recognize a sleeping person from a perfectly awake but pretending person. That was one of their strengths, and that was why they were both nurse in charge in the intensive care unit. Always lying in this warm, comfortable bed, an oxygen mask on his face and the right part of his body a little higher than the left side, he tensed when he heard the door open. No one had knocked before entering, and inwardly he began to panic. There was only Oleg and his men to go in without a knock. He felt someone approach, his gait seemed different from what he had heard since he was in that white room. It wasn't one of the nurses he had allowed to approach him, it wasn't Kelly. He wasn't someone he recognized. As usual, he pretended to rest, hoping to get this person out, but she kept on approaching. He felt her close to him, he felt his heart squeeze and beat harder, he felt his breath almost shut as so much fear and anxiety invaded him. This person then began to move his fingers and his hands on his arms. It seemed to be a man. He wanted to open his eyes, to scream, and to pubch this stranger to finally escape, but did he have the strength for that? He decided to do nothing, letting him touch him everywhere, allowing all kinds of emotions and feelings to penetrate him. He was too afraid. It was only when he felt a sharp pain in his back that he began to react. He stifled a cry of agony, but quickly opened his eyes to face him. He was indeed a man, a very young nurse whom he had never met before. He seemed surprised to see Matt awake. But he did not have time to move a single more inch. Matt, still lying in bed with numerous IVs hooked to him, a cardiac monitor on his chest and an oxygen mask covering his face, gave him a huge punch coming from no-one-knew in the face. The nurse then fell backward and banged his head on the ground, losing consciousness at the same time. Looking at his hands, surprised by the strength he had gathered, he had to get out of this place, and the sooner the better. He was still afraid, but less than when the nurse touched him. Despite his shallow breathing, despite the pain along his spine, he pulled out with trembling hands each IV stuck in his arms, disconnected the three electrodes of the cardiac monitor, gently slid the oxygen mask to place it on the bed, he removed in a coughing fit the long and thin tube passing through his nostril. Hardly, he got up, trying to find a fragile balance, then one step at the time, he walked toward the door of the room. His lungs had quickly started to burn his chest again after having removed the oxygen mask he could feel the cold sweat running down his forehead and his back. It was an awful pain, but necessary to escape, he couldn't stay here, he couldn't anymore and he didn't want to. He finally grabbed the handle, opening the door. Numerous unusual noises came to his ears: voices, screams, discussions he didn't understand. There were too many people around him now. He couldn't get out, he was too terrorized. His breathing stopped, he froze, his heart drumming in his burning chest. He saw that a man in white coat had turned towards him,frowning and abandonning the desk on which he was leaning a few secondsbefore.

"Mr. Casey?"

How he could know his name when he didn't know him? It was impossible for Matt, but in reality, the physician knew him well. He was his patient. Dr. Bennett could read on his face fear. More than that even, it was terror. His eyes were wide opened, he could see from where he was that he was breathing at all, or too shallow to be nocited, he could see sweat dripping from his forehead to stain his medical gown. It was too much for Matt. His body finally moved while the doctor was still aproaching him slowly, worried. He stepped back, allowing himself to deeply breathe again. Just before going out od the room, he noticed this second door to his left. He turned his head towards her, called by this alternative escape.

"Mr. Ca... Matt!" Dr. Bennett screamed while Matt was closing the door.

He opened the second door, leading to a bathroom almost as large as the filthy cage he had known. However, it seemed much more welcoming: it had a slight blue color that attracted her. It wasn't as frightening as the previous pieces. He went into that bathroom, closing the door behind him and pressing his lacerated back on it.

"Matt!"

Someone had just entered the room, knocking at the door to which he had stuck.

"Matt! Open this door, Matt!"

With a sudden panic even more violent, he shook his head from left to right, as if someone could see him. He could not breathe properly, think calmly. His back was so painful, he thought his chest would explode by burning. He knew something was wrong, but he had to run away. From the corner of his eye, something caught his attention: the shower. He turned his head, as if hypnotized by this place. Without taking it into account, he pulled away from the door, his gown sliding on his skin until it fell on the cold floor of the room as Matt stepped forward. He activated the shower, closing his eyes as his body finally began to relax slightly.

"Matt?"

Not paying attention to what this voice was saying, his bruised back came to rest on the wall. Despite all the efforts he provided, he could no longer stand on his legs. He slid down the wall, sat down on the ground and dipped his head slightly into the nest he had just created with his arms and legs as Dr. Bennett was still knocking at the door without opening it.

"What's going on here?"

The physician startled, turning his head in a sudden to face a worried man: Kelly.

"Kelly! Uh, well..."

The latter turned his head toward the bed, noticing that it was empty now and that two nurses were taking care of a third one completely unconscious on the floor.

"What happened?" Kelly asked while trying to kep his cool.

He crossed his arms, waiting an explanation from the doctor.

"Well, I don't know what really happened. I guess Nathan tried to help Senera in her tour and tried to take care of Matt. But as you can see..."

"It didn't go well", he finished with a sigh.

"Indeed. He tried to leave the room, but when he saw me, he stepped back and... And he locked himself in the bathroom."

"You opened the door?"

"I don't want to scare him even more. It should be someone he knows to make him understand that he's safe now."

"Let me guess: me."

"You're his brother, you're in the best position to calm him down."

After some long seconds, he nodded without a word. What he didn't understand, this sudden behavior from Matt came only now when it had been hours since he was awake and pretended to be asleep to be alone. So what had changed for him to do that? Did this nurse speak to him, explaining his slightest acts and gestures to reassure him? Had he had inappropriate behavior towards him? He didn't have the answers, and he wasn't going to have them for quite a while. However, he had to act fast: Matt was no longer under medication to reduce the infection and his fever, he was no longer hydrated properly, he was no longer fed or monitored. He took a deep breath, turning towards the door before changing his mind. What was mostly frightening Matt was people he didn't know.

"Could you... Could you get out of the room? Please? Matt won't leave me approach him if he feels your presence."

"But I know him, I am his doctor", Bennett insisted.

"And he doesn't know you. After what he'd been through, you could at least give him some privacy."

Kelly didn't meant it in that tone, the doctor realized it immediately. He just wanted to protect Matt, keep him away from people he didn't know. Dr. Bennett nodded, helping the two nurses to bring their colleague to the neighboring rest room to look after him. Finally alone, Kelly turned back to the door, taking a new inspiration before knocking.

"Matt, it's me. It's Kelly."

He waited a little, giving Matt time to deal with this information. If he was still conscious after what had just happened. After two long and silent minutes, he paid attention to the different noises coming from the bathroom. He heard the water sink. Was he taking a shower? Why would he do that? So many questions he had to answer as soon as possible. So, he took the handle in hand.

"I'll come in, Matt", he warned.

The first thing that sprang to her face in opening the door, it was this white smoke full of water. The air was almost unbreathable because of the heat in the room. He then looked for Matt, turning his head to the left. He finally saw him, sitting on the floor and his back on the wall of the shower, his head resting on his thin arms. Kelly said nothing, watching his best friend with a tear in his eye. The worst of all was that he could hear his sobbing despite the warm water flowing, he could see him trembling with fear for no apparent reason. But for Matt, it was totally different: he was terrified of what could happen to him, he was at the mercy of Kelly. Yes, he'd recognized it, but he still believed it was another twist from Oleg. He continued to fall back on himself as his friend advanced towards him, almost unable to breathe, leaving the immeasurable pain invading him. He wanted to scream, but all his strength was leaving him. He was in survival mode, as in that awful cell in which he had been forced to live. It was very hard for Kelly to see his friend, his brother in such a state. Four miserable days had elapsed between the time of his disappearance and his admission to hospital, and almost two more days had passed from that moment to today, but Kelly would never have thought of living this one day. In six days, this brother who was his perfect opposite was vulnerable, fearing for his own life when he had nothing more to fear. Nesbitt had been arrested, the other members of the traffic had been killed during the expedition of Voight and his unit, the victims were finally free. But not Matt. He always felt oppressed, always on the defensive. He was afraid that they would approach him, touch him without knowing what was going to happen. It was not the Matt Kelly knew, it was no longer him.

"Matt..."

He continued his approach more gently, not to frighten him. Against all odds, he didn't move, he didn't strain. He remained still, but his breathing had remained the same, his tears had ceased, at least he could only hear the water still flowing profusely on Matt. It was necessary to approach him, both to cut water and to stop the paranoia of his best friend.

"I will remove my clothes. And come next to you. Okay?"

For only answer, Matt still didn't move an inch. Was that a way of saying yes? Gently, he pulled off his sweater and shirt, took off his shoes, his socks and then his pants. He kept his underwear, and walked cautiously into the shower. He crouched down, settling to the right of Matt, not too far away to react very quickly if something happened, distant enough to leave him privacy and not frighten him further. The water that flowed was very hot, almost burning. How could Matt in some ways enjoy this shower while his back was in a pitiful shape? He turned his head towards him, looking down at the top of his back. Most of the gauzes were gone, the open wounds were taking air and boiling water was flowing on them. He gritted his teeth as he imagined the pain that was going through his friend's whole body. It was painful to see, who wouldn't be hurt after that?

"Let me help you, Matt. Please", he finally ask, whispering to not frighten him.

He said nothing else, didn't make a gesture, nothing. It was now up to Matt to take another step. It was up to him to ask for help, to seek contact. If he was forced to do it, it would only make things worse. Five long minutes passed in a deep silence only altered by the sound of the water which continued to flow. Before Matt slowly turns his head hardly toward Kelly. He didn't look him in the eye, but at least there was a slight better. Kelly could read in his eyes: he could understand that Matt needed to be reassured, to tell himself that everything was really over and that he had nothing more to fear.

"It's over, Matt. It's all over. They're dead. I promise."

Matt wanted to believe it, sincerely. But how could he be sure? How did he know Kelly wasn't lying to him? How to know that everything he was living was real, and not an illusion? If Kelly was really close to him, then that meant he was not lying, that it was all over. Slowly, he lowered his right arm, so that his hand touched the floor of the shower, and slid it until reaching the hand of his best friend. He wanted to be sure not to hallucinate, not to dream. Seeing what he wanted to do, Kelly didn't move, letting him take that first step. When their fingers met, a slight electrical tension passed between them, but none of the two friends took it into account. Matt's eyes changed. His eyes filled with anguish and distress faded to gradually give way to relief. He let out a sigh, the tears rising to the edges of his eyes. His fingers climbed a little more on Kelly's hand, tightening it delicately. It was emotional. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do. Should he shake his hand back, to show him that he was indeed here at his side? Should he come closer to him to embrace him and show him his joy of seeing him finally safe and sound? No, he had to go slowly, to Matt's rhythm. So, he turned his left hand lightly, taking Matt's right hand in his to tighten it back.

"I am here, Matt. They will never hurt you anymore. They're all dead."

With this gesture, Matt finally realized that he was safe, far from those frightful and filthy men, far from this dark and stinking cage. He was free. The discharge of relief was too powerful to be handled, and his body slid to the right. Kelly had barely time to hold him back, taking him in his arms so he didn't collapse to the ground. Matt was still conscious, now letting tears run down his cheeks, but it was not tears of sadness. It was tears of relief. The nightmare was finally over.

"I know, Matt. I know. It's over, it's all over", she continued to whisper endlessly into his brother's ears.

They remained under the burning water of the shower, one to finally pour out the tears he had held for so long in the arms of his friend whom he had thought fictitious since his awakening, the other to encourage him and to reassure him. Until Matt closed his reddened blue eyes and fell asleep, mainly through exhaustion. But despite that, Kelly didn't move an inch. He stood there, his brother in his arms, cradling him tenderly, in a place heated by the warm rain of the shower. It was not ideal, of course, but it seemed to soothe Matt, and that was what counted most for now: feeling appeased. And free.


	12. Here with you

Hello, my dear readers! As I already said when I updated "Stay alive", I AM BACK ^^ Yes, I have more time now that my scholarship is almost over, so I can write everything down as I want :p

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 **Justicerocks:** I am glad to know that you liked chapter 9 (yes it was chapter 9, as I already wrote an A/N, it's complicated haha). OF COURSE, everybody will be there for him, but Kelly really wants to be there for Matt, more than anyone else ^^

 **texterlover:** I am happy as well :p Kelly will always be there for Matt, but for Gabby, it'll be much more difficult (for each other), as Matt thought about her all the time

 **Edelmira Gil:** Very glad you liked ^^ Hope you will like this one ;D

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I have hope that you will enjoy this chapter ^^ please leave me a review after having read it :)

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 **Chapter 11: Here with you**

When Matt sounded deeply asleep, mainly because of the fever engulfing each cell of his body and the constant anxiety, Kelly finally decided to call Dr. Bennett to get some help and tried to cut off the water still flowing on his skin and the walls of the shower. In vain. If he moved, Matt was going to wake up again, and that didn't bode well. He simply wanted to be near him, to reassure him, to tell him that everything was over, that he always would be there for him, but deep down, he knew it would be useless to say so for now. His best friend, his brother had suffered such a huge trauma that nothing seemed to calm him down, and it made him feel so powerless. He called the physician once again, who this time responded by entering the room, then the bathroom, only to discover Kelly dressed in a simple underwear, and Matt crushed in his arms, completely unconscious and vulnerable while the hot water was still flowing. He remained frozen for a few extra seconds before stepping closer to the two men to stop the steady flow of boiling water and help Kelly. Once done, he asked the accompanying nurse to go find a stretcher, as well as a heart monitor, an oximeter, and an oxygen mask. Matt's cracking breath worried him deeply. Removing the mask had made the situation worse than Dr. Bennett wanted to imagine. Dr. Charles also helped; he was a shrink, but he went to med school and he knew what to do. In his head, he had made several scenarios to guess how Nathan, the young nurse, could have triggered such a paranoid episode in Matt. He had leaned over at least a dozen possibilities, all of them more likely than the others, without being able to decide which one was the reality of the situation. In order to get the better of it, he had to talk to the nurse to find out what had happened in the smallest detail. When he would be back in the land of the living, because at the time, he was still unconscious on a sofa in the restroom, and Matt needed all the possible help. The nurse finally came back, this time with reinforcement, the material requested and even more, while Kelly hadn't moved an inch. He was still holding Matt firmly in his arms while keeping a margin of impressive sweetness not to hurt his little brother. Without uttering a word, Dr. Bennett gently placed one of his hands on Kelly's left shoulder. Their gaze met, and he knew. He knew he had to let go, even if he didn't really want it. He had no other choice, Matt needed help. He let the doctor take care of him, dropping his arms while they put Matt on the stretcher. A nurse passed a towel on him to dry him as fast as possible, taking great care not to too brutal, then a second nurse placed the oxygen mask on his face while Dr. Bennett applied the electrodes of the monitor on his still warm chest.

"Can someone give me his temp?"

One of the nurses hastened to take her frontal thermometer out of her blouse pocket, passing it on the patient's forehead a few seconds before it beeped.

"101,1."

It was too high. Much too high. His fever had risen, and it wasn't due to the improvised shower. Something was going on.

"Okay, we put him on his side, I have to check his back. Careful with his right shoulder."

In an enormous coordinated gesture, Matt was put on his left side to allow Dr. Bennett to see if the infection had spread. He easily picked up the bandages and frowned immediately.

"I need disinfectant, ointment, and new dressings. Hurry."

By hearing these words, Kelly came back to himself. He shook his head, straightening at the same time, looking for the second time at the bruised back of his brother, this time in its entirety. It was only a field of wounds of all kinds, cuts all deeper than the others. The skin around these cuts was white as if it were necrotic and filled with pus.

"H-he's okay?" Kelly asked in a worried and broken voice.

"Brutal stop in the treatment, even a few minutes, may facilitate the spread of sepsis", Dr. Bennett explained as he began to treat the wounds on his back and one of the nurses repositioned two intravenous on his arms, one for the fluids necessary for the proper functioning of his body and the other for the antibiotics. "We will increase the dose of antibiotics, and monitor all his vital, one hour at the time. And we keep him hydrated to lower his fever as quickly as possible."

Once put back in the warm and comfortable bed waiting for him, once all the necessary to look after her and monitor his condition back in place, once the nurse had been in a lot of trouble to reintroduce a tube from his nostril to his stomach and another to help him evacuate his urine, they put back pillows on Matt's back to raise his right side, and one last time, Dr. Bennett listened to his breathing closer with his stethoscope.

"Did you add albuterol?"

"Yes, doctor. When I brought the mask", the nurse assured.

"He needs a constant dose of it to help his breathing, it's very important."

"Understood."

Kelly had meanwhile taken the time to dry himself and get dressed again. He was in the bedroom, watching the medical staff help Matt and do their best.

"He is okay?" Kelly asked anxiously again.

Dr. Bennett turned to him with a slight smile.

"More fear than evil, I think. His fever increased slightly due to the stoppage of antibiotics, but now, it should fade, even a little. Because of the cocktail of medicine that has just been injected into his system, he will be unconscious for a few more hours, and this is a minimum."

Kelly slightly nodded, still in shock and trembling after what had happened. Dr. Charles stood in front of him, getting him out of his trance.

"Would you like to come with me and talk to the nurse? I know you have lots of question in mind about what just happened and he might have the answers to those."

Without a word, Kelly nodded again, following the shrink out of the room while the medical staff continued to take care of Matt. They went on the end of the corridor, where the resting-room was, and then entered the room. The furniture was very simple; a few sofas and armchairs, three vending machines for coffee, cold drinks and snacks as well as several tables and a fridge. The walls were painted white, a very commonplace. On one of the sofas, a man was seated, holding his head and surrounded by several nurses. Dr. Charles advanced towards the crowd, which moved as he passed.

"Nathan? How are you feeling?"

The nursing student raised his head, revealing a red and blue jaw and a still bleeding nose. He sighed, keeping his eyes closed to avoid the light above him.

"Very bad."

"You have a concussion, it doesn't surprise me. Can you tell me what happened?"

"Uh... I wanted to help Serena on her tour, and I went into the room for care, and... I don't know, but suddenly... He opened his eyes and... And then I wake up here, completely out of it. I don't understand what happened to me."

"Well, apparently the patient struck you with all his strength, and your head hit the ground, hence your loss of consciousness. Sonia or Serena didn't tell you not to enter room 217 without supervision?"

"I, uh... Oh my God", the nurse said, passing his hands over his face and straightening up. "I didn't pay attention to the room number, I'm sorry."

"Why?" Kelly asked, almost startling everyone in the room.

Kelly had every right to be angry with the nurse, the latter and Dr. Charles understood perfectly in view of the situation. But he wasn't. Not at all.

"It happens to everyone to make mistakes early in their careers. You just wanted to help."

Thankful, Nathan nodded as he looked down. He was ashamed of having forgotten to look at the room number. It was, however, one of the bases of his profession, but fatigue had had the better of him.

"How many hours is your shift? Twenty-four hours? Even more? Even we, the firefighters, make mistakes at the end of our shifts, nobody is safe, even less the newbies."

"Well, explain to me in the smallest detail what happened."

"Well..."

Nathan cleared his throat, taking great pains to rethink everything he remembered.

"I went into the room, and I went to the bed. His heart rate was a little high, but in view of the infection he had, I didn't notice anything abnormal. I looked at whether the IV ports were still in place on his arms, and then I decided to check the bandages on his back. And... I... I crossed his gaze, and... I didn't even have time to move that I get a punch and... And then it's the black hole."

Dr. Charles recreated the scenario in his head, trying to collect the missing pieces. He thought firmly and deeply, taking several minutes to clarify a few points.

"You didn't knock before entering, I suppose."

"No, I thought the patient was asleep, so I didn't want to wake him up. Sonia and Serena all warned us that he needed a lot of rest."

"I understand, I don't blame you. But it seems that your... Arriving in the room without knocking is associated with this little unexpected. I think Matt was awake but left you to approach him, let you touch him, and when you decided to look at his back, the pain had to submerge him and his body reacted without thinking. This is only a theory, but I think his mind has associated you with his captors."

"What?!" Kelly said suddenly. "Y-you mean that... That he still believed himself there?! In this stinky rat hole?"

"According to his medical record, his kidnappers weren't really tender with him. A male presence close to him, who didn't tell him what he was doing to him when he was most vulnerable and that instead of letting everyone do everything they want with him, he can now defend himself? You didn't believe that he would let himself go, did you?"

"When we enter room 217, we are always careful to knock on the door, even gently. This allows the patient to understand from the beginning that he is safe. And we explain all the steps we take. If the patient is asleep, then he won't hear anything. If he's awake, he can understand that he can trust us", Serena explained as she walked into the restroom.

She had just finished her round and had been informed of the situation. She blamed him a little, but at the same time, his desire to help and do something good made this anger vain. She would have done the same thing.

"He's a very fragile patient, and he needs all our attention. And that's why I would ask you not to enter this room anymore. Both for his own security and yours."

"I understand."

The discussion lasted a few more minutes, during which the nurses agreed that only Serena and Sonia were allowed to take care of Matt, and then Kelly returned to Matt's room while the last care was provided by Dr. Bennett. The latter wanted to be reassuring about his patient's health, explaining to Kelly that he should probably remain asleep for several more hours, but he didn't care. He just wanted to be there when he woke up. A few hours passed safely in the room, Kelly watching Matt tirelessly to reassure him as soon as he woke up, so he couldn't panic. Dr. Bennett had allowed him to stay longer than usual, well after the visits had ended. It was officially to keep Matt as calm as possible with a reassuring presence near him, which was not wrong, but Dr. Charles suspected the doctor of being sympathetic to Kelly. Both needed to be close to each other to get better, it was a bond that the psychologist had never seen before between two people, apart from the brothers and sisters of course. Matt had every reason to be suspicious and fearful; after this trauma, no one would have reacted differently. It was a defense mechanism, nothing more instinctive. It kept out any danger from outside, but what was even more intriguing to the professional was that Kelly's presence at his side seemed to reassure him. Most of the time, in such emotional disturbance, there was no distinction between good and bad. There was definitely a stronger connection, more than any other, between these two. Intrigued at the highest point, Dr. Charles decided to talk to Kelly the time Matt was still unconscious. He crossed his floor, traveling the corridors until arriving in the ICU. Arriving at the door of the room, he took a deep breath before knocking. Having no answer, he condescended to open the door and pass his head to see inside.

"Good evening", he whispered.

Kelly made no reply, still focused on Matt.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

For the first time in hours, he looked away look near the door. He recognized Dr. Charles, nodding slightly. He hoped not to wake Matt above all. The doctor stepped forward, closing the door and grabbing a chair as he approached the bed. He placed it gently on the floor, noticing Matt's rapid breathing through the oxygen mask.

"Serena told me that his fever had come down in the afternoon."

"100,8", Kelly replied after several seconds. "His fever is still too high."

"But it goes down, it's already a good point. This means that..."

"That his body is fighting the infection, I know", Kelly replied again, this time a little less calmly.

He sighed, feeling already embarrassed at having replied as badly to Dr. Charles.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have talked to you like that."

"I understand. You were really tense for several days. You have to get rid of all this stress."

"I'm not stressed."

The doctor raised an eyebrow, immediately noticed by Kelly.

"I'm more worried than stressed."

"Who wouldn't be in your place?"

The shrink wanted to add something, but he decided to say nothing more, for fear of ruffling Kelly and the confidence he seemed to give him. It was already difficult to make a fireman talk, and he didn't want to ruin everything.

"You seem to have a very special connection with Matt. A link that I can't even understand."

Troubled by this revelation, Kelly looked straight into the doctor's eyes. Was it true? Was it to make him talk? Was it to make a conversation?

"I assure you it is true. Normally, even a familiar presence may be unnecessary in this situation, but as soon as you are close to Matt, it's as if... As if you were the voice of his reason. As if he could regain control of himself."

Severide listened attentively to the doctor next to him. He didn't really know him, but from what he already knew, he dreaded his presence. Was he there for Matt, or for him? He sighed, realizing that Dr. Charles was probably waiting for an answer from him.

"We promised to be there for each other. Since the Academy where we met, we never left each other. We got our ups and downs, but... Our, uh... Our friendship goes far beyond that." "Since the Academy? It was a long time ago?"

"18 years ago. We had just become major and passed our graduations, and we wanted to make something of our lives. I wanted to be a firefighter since the day I was born because of my father, but Matt... It was different."

He looked at Matt, who was still asleep in that soft bed and covered with sheets up to the waist.

"Matt had a relatively rough childhood, and... And becoming a firefighter was a way of... Of feeling alive I think? As soon as we entered the Academy, we immediately went for each other, even if we came from two completely different worlds. There was something that attracted me to him, something that made me want to walk close to him."

"You trusted him from the start, it's rare to see this in young adults."

"Let's say we've already saved each other. I won't hesitate for a single second to put my life in his hands. Just as he knows very well that he can do the same thing with me."

"Saved each other?"

"When... When Matt lost Hallie, his fiancee, he was devastated. He came for his shifts, but I could see very well that he was desperate. I said nothing because I knew it was hard to mourn someone you loved. And I helped him as best I could. When Shay... Was killed, the woman I loved more than anything in the world, he was there in return. He also saw that I was in pain. He offered me a room in his own home, he offered me his friendship more than ever before. We saved each other, and I am ready to do it again today if it allows Matt to overcome what he has just gone through."

Kelly was convinced by the words he had just uttered. He was convinced he was in the right place, near Matt. He needed him to get out of here, he saw this, he knew it. Dr. Charles was right; as soon as he was near his brother, he calmed down, he became less agitated, he listened. As if his mere presence was good for him. To the realization of all that he had just explained to the shrink, Kelly smiled, then laughed for a moment.

"I don't even know why I say this to a shrink..."

"Because you just needed it. I am here for that."

"I don't need anyone", Kelly said firmly.

A few seconds passed, and Dr. Charles felt that his presence wasn't really welcome. He decided to get up and leave Kelly in peace, taking the chair he had brought with him to put it back in its place. Matt's heartbeat suddenly accelerated, the features of his face hardened. He was waking up. Kelly immediately decided to take action: he straightened up, watching the frenzied movements of his friend in that bed.

"Matt, it's all right", he said softly, very different from the last sentence he had said to the shrink. "I'm here, I'm here."

Dr. Charles hadn't had time to get out of the room, and decided to observe this fusional relationship that the two friends had. And he did it too because he knew that by opening the door he was going to make Matt having a panic attack. Almost instantaneously, Matt's movements became less violent, and his heartbeat decreased slightly.

"I'll take your left hand, okay?"

Kelly waited a few more seconds, the time for his brother to calm down a bit more, then he took his hand gently, frightened by a possible rejection from him. But it was just the opposite. He accepted this reassuring hand, turning slightly his own to welcome and squeeze it back. Slightly, Matt opened his eyes, planting his tired and wounded gaze in Kelly's while letting out a sigh of relief. His best friend, his brother was still there, by his side. It was a reassuring presence, someone who allowed him to tell himself that everything was really over. That the nightmare he had lived was over.

"You can go back to sleep, Matty. I'm not going anywhere. I stay right here."

Timidly, he began to smile, quickly noticed by Kelly through his oxygen mask. It was a sign. The sign that everything was going to come back as before. It would take time, but they were going to get there. Together. Always.


	13. First words

Helloooooo everyone! I haven't updated this story in awhile (more than two months), so I had time to write something (LoL)

Today (it's June, 18 here), it's been two years since my first chapter EVER for a fanfiction (Who will help our hero) because I was an ass in English and I needed to be good (for my future job). Now, when I want to read this story again, just the first line and I find at three mistakes haha

Before, I couldn't even watch a show in English with French subtitles, it had to be the French version. Now, I can easily watch anything in English, most of the time without any subtitles (English included). I can also read more easily in English and have a conversation (written or verbally). I guess I can be proud of myself ^^

Of course, I still do mistakes, tipping or not using the proper word, but I do my best to give you the most beautifully written text I could write.

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 **Edelmira Gil:** Yes, Kelly's presence near Matt is reassuring him a lot, but as you can guess, it will be hard for Matt to get over what he had undergone.

 **texterlover:** Everything is gonna be okay with some time ^^ I guess...

 **1chicagoswe:** Nathan is still young and has to learn a lot of things about nursing :D BUT maybe he'll come back in an upcoming chapter...

 **namine redfield:** I think everyone loves when Kelly is taking great care of his brother, right? They're so cute ^^

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I still hope that you will enjoy this chapter and leave me some reviews ^^

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 **CHAPTER 12: first words**

The night was long and awful for both Kelly and Matt. Terribly hurtful. To tell the truth, Severide never managed to close his eyes because of his best friend. Every hour, Matt woke up suddenly, screaming with all his strength and struggling, almost snatching all the IVs that whenever he was able to calm down and fell asleep again, Serena had to double check everything to see if nothing had been removed in an absolute silence. At five in the morning, Matt was seized with a panic attack so huge that simply having the oxygen mask on his face prevented him from breathing and he had panicked. He had again removed a major part of the IVs and had hit Kelly on his cheekbone, who was trying to calm him down. Serena had to inject a small dose of haldol to stop his madness. She even wanted, in agreement with Dr. Bennett, to restrict his movement, but Kelly was fiercely opposed. He had seen a large part of his detention, he knew what he had gone through, and he was out of the question, for any reason whatsoever, to attach him again, even though it was supposedly for his own safety. Tie him down wasn't the solution, on the contrary: it was only going to make things worse. Matt would struggle and it undoubtedly would create a system of mistrust and psychoses, and therefore he would refuse any treatment; this could make him believe that he had just changed of place but that the ultimate goal would be the same. Torture him. He was already in a piece small enough to give him chills, so strap him to bed? No, not as long as Kelly would stand by him, not while he would be alive. Seeing that they were going to lose, Serena and Dr. Bennett agreed to try a new oxygen therapy to stop these outrageous awakening of Matt. The nurse so came about half an hour later with an unknown device to Kelly. Serena had to assured that it was to keep Matt on oxygen, but in a less invasive way, so that the mask would no longer trigger panic attacks. Settling the device correctly, she removed then the so hated oxygen mask and placed on his face a large nasal canula, larger than in his memories as a lieutenant. She had to explain that this type of oxygen therapy is used to reduce the respiratory effort and keep a constant and perfect airway hydration and thus drastically reduce the risk of respiratory infection he could contract. In addition, the constant oppression Matt was feeling could be reduced to nothing if everything went as planned. She took the opportunity to change most of the bandages, especially those on her patient's wrists and ankles, and changed again the bags of fluids hanging on the IV pole near the bed, but also the Foley. It was something unpleasant for Kelly, he had known this years ago, but it also reassured it somehow to see that his kidneys were still perfectly functioning despite the blows he had received in the lower back.

"I hope the cops have arrested the evil odious people who did this to him", Serena explained very seriously while she was feeding Matt through the long and thin tube coming out of one of his nostril.

"He has nothing to worry about anymore now", Kelly confirmed in a firm tone. "They're dead, and the last still alive will rot in jail for the rest of his life."

Nodding, she finished the cure in a killable silence. And while she was about to move forward the door to end her tour, she turned back to Kelly.

"You should rest, even a few hours. You didn't sleep since his admission."

"I can't", Kelly admitted. "I have always…. This fear that he can wake up and panic if…. If I'm not here to bring him back to reason."

Serena could understand this feeling, she saw this yesterday and knew that when Kelly was around, Matt didn't panic as much as if he wasn't here.

"You can stay here and rest, a couple of hours. If he wakes up panicking, you'll be there."

She smiled, leaving Kelly alone in the room near his best friend. He thought about Gabby. He told her everything, everything that happened in the hospital, and he asked her if she could come within the day to finally see him lucid. Maybe he needed this, her presence to get back into reality? From this moment, despite constant anxiety enveloping him, he let himself be overwhelmed by fatigue and fell asleep next to Matt, his face pasted on the bed near his left arm. Several hours later, Matt woke up with the sun already dancing in the sky, but he didn't panic. Before, he could wake up in panic after feeling his face being obstructed by the oxygen mask, but not anymore. All he could feel was this thing planted in his nostrils, which helped him to breathe much better, to no longer feel oppressed. Nevertheless, his heart instinctively sank, but he had no comparable feeling during these past days. It was the first time in day he felt as free and peaceful. Without taking into account the antibiotics administered to him, scaring him enough. He first thought it was poison, but he felt much better every hour. He felt then a presence near him, someone appeasing him. Slowly, he turned his head and noticed that Kelly had fallen asleep with his head on the bed, a slight snoring breaking the silence of the room. It was stronger than matt; he smiled. He forgot how much it was good to hear that he was back into reality, to feel that the nightmare was over. Even if everything was scaring him, the only presence of his friend was enough to feel alive. A knock on the door, and instinctively, panic won. It was his daily routine now; the least unfamiliar noise could trigger a panic attack. He turned his head toward the door and closed his eyes, faking a sleep to not be bothered. He heard the door open then close, silent and light steps and finally a voice.

"I know you're awake", he heard the voice say, whispering.

Serena. This sweet nurse taking care of him since his admission. Convincing himself that there was nothing to worry about, he opened his eyes and met her gaze: it was filled with goodness, a gracious smile on her face.

"You feel better now?"

Suddenly, he remembered his night: his awakening, his panic because of the oxygen mask and a terrible nightmare, his punch to Kelly, Serena injecting him something to calm him down and get him back to sleep almost immediately. He nodded, making the nurse smile.

"That's a first for me", she congratulated. "Even if it's still not verbally, it pleases me to see that you trust me."

Matt then turned his head toward Kelly, asking a question without a word.

"He hasn't closed his eyes since you've been brought in here. He was too worried to see you panicking that he refused to take any nap or sleep."

It didn't surprise Matt, far from it. If Kelly was worried about someone, he could do everything to be at his side, even if it meant neglecting his own health.

"The first time he decided to come home was yesterday."

Yesterday. The nurse he didn't know, his total panic, him taking refuge in the bathroom, taking to very hot shower. Kelly comforting him, letting himself go. Kelly never left him before, and he didn't want to leave him alone anymore, scared that such a moment could happen again.

"I came to check on your body temperature, check if everything was alright and to make you eat a little", Serena explained, as usual.

With Matt's agreement, she checked all the IV lines, all the bags, changing the ones that needed to, then took his temperature, scaring him a little because everytime, he just closed his eyes but not this time, he had decided to keep them open.

"You fever has dropped during the night, this is perfect. 98,6 so you're still feverish, but it's an acceptable level", she explained so that Matt could have all the cards in hands. "Now, time to eat".

But before she could do anything, Matt opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something.

"H-how many…"

As surprised as the other, no one said nothing, before Serena started smiling.

"We've made progress!" she whispered, laughing. "You want to know for how many days you're in there?"

Slowly and with a moment thinking, he nodded. While taking the NG tube, Serena answered honestly.

"This is your fourth day here. You are responding to the treatment better than we thought you would. We thought it would be more complicated to treat you accordingly, but you fought very hard."

It was true, in every sense of the term. He first fought these cowards to not reveal information he didn't have, then the infection that could spread into his bloodstream, but fortunately stopped in time, he hit this nurse he found offensive, then Kelly in a fit of panic. Yes, he had fought.

"I wanted to propose you some things for today", Serena said while she was preparing the feeding tube. "I wanted to see with you if you were tempted to eat an yoghurt to see if your body accepts it. You're interested?"

Matt took several seconds to answer. Even if his body was properly nourished through the probe and intravenous nutrients, he needed to feel food in his mouth. It had been days since his last real meal, the fact of having once could say that he was really free. He couldn't say no, even if it was some spoons of yoghurt here and there. So, he nodded, a slight smile forming on his face.

"You want to try now? Or we also can wait until you are ready."

He nodded again, feeling ready for this experience. He missed this. Serena dropped the device on the pillow and smiled again, watching Kelly attentively to see if he was still asleep.

"You have a favorite flavor? We have numerous flavors here."

"Vanilla?"

"We have for sure, one of my favorites! I bring this to you right away."

The nurse left the room for a minute, coming back with a spoon and a yoghurt. She removed the seal and gave the spoon to Matt, who took it with his right hand. As his left arm was still in a sling because of his torn muscle, Serena helped him by taking the pot while he plunged the spoon inside, swallowing hard. He was scared: what if it went wrong? What if his body could no longer support him eating? His hand trembling, the nurse easily understood the deal.

"Everything is gonna be alright."

He took a deep breath and finally approached the spoon, putting it in his mouth. The sensation he felt was incomparable to what he had experienced before. He closed his eyes, letting himself be invaded by this feeling he had almost forgotten: eat. However, it was very difficult to swallow. His throat was still bruised because of these barbaric acts he wanted never to mention, and it hurt him. With their eyes closed, he felt discomfort as nausea invaded him. And before he could ask for help, everything came up suddenly. His body reacted instinctively and he projected himself forward, surprising Serena who took a step backwards by surprise, and all the contents of his stomach, which was almost nothing, splashed on the sheets. With this sudden movement and sudden noise, Kelly woke with a start, and he had to take several seconds to understand what was happening.

"Matt, are you alright?" Kelly asked immediately. "Matt, talk to me please."

But Matt couldn't talk, not right away, because of the nausea. A simple spoon and he felt that bad? This unpleasant moment turned quickly into a flashback, the one when with nothing on his stomach, they made him do some things he wanted to forget. The taste he had at these times there came back to haunt him, the sensations he felt took precedence over those before, emotions too. Everything changed in a second. He heard himself cry, something he hated to do in public, remaining seated with the smell of his stomach dangerously diving in his nostrils despite de canula.

"I… I will change the sheets", Serena announced.

While Kelly did his best to reassure Matt and to get him back in a half-seated position, the nurse took the sheet and blanket to change them. During that time, Matt felt a cold settle in him, a cold like the one he had known for days. His best friend saw him immediately, but couldn't do anything but say that Serena would be soon back with a blanket and clean sheets so he could warm up. Once done, she took advantage that Kelly was awake to again change the bandages before finally using the device of the probe to feed him properly. After several minutes, the nurse was about to leave when Matt caught her left arm, surprising everyone including himself. Something puzzled him, something that Serena had not explained.

"S-some things?"

"Oh…"

Indeed, the nurse had wanted to try several things, and she did only one. As for Kelly, this reassured to finally hear the voice of Matt.

"Well... I wanted to see with Dr. Bennett if you could get out a bit in the hallway to walk, or at least to take some fresh air. Because your fever has dropped. Plus, the sun is shining, and..."

Serena wanted to add something, but she changed her mind, finding those words inappropriate. She wanted to say that after what he had been through, fresh air wouldn't hurt.

"It could be good for you", she said, smiling.

The Sun. The heat. The wind, the breeze grazing the skin. This thrill settling in having fun. After what Matt had been through the past few days, it could only be beneficial. Just thinking at this moment of freedom made him smile, enjoying two people around him.

"Yeah..."

"We first need Dr. Bennett green light, but you are… Free to walk in the corridors. Just be careful with your legs, please."

"We'll be", Kelly assured, thanking the nurse.

He turned toward Matt, still with a slight smile on his face, and he smiled back.

"See? All of this is real, you have really nothing to worry about anymore."

One last time, Matt nodded and turned to Kelly. He contemplated his cheek swollen because of the blow he was thrown to him in the night. He felt bad for his best friend. But he was sure of one thing: he could never lie to him.

"I know."


	14. Broken soul

Hey there! What do you think about a new chapter to read?

Some people asked me (in private or in a review) to write a Dawsey chapter. That's legitimate, but in this one, you will understand why I can't do that (for now). There is a lot going on and I am on my way to write the next chapter (update within the next few days hopefully).

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 **Ale:** I know everyone misses a chapter with Matt and Gabby, but as I said just above, it will be complicated to write something down with the couple reunited (read this chapter ^^)

 **1chicagoSWE:** Poor Matt, huh? Do you think I will end this now and he will be fine soon? mhhhh...

 **Edelmira Gil:** Thank you for the compliment ^^ It melts my heart lol And I know you like this story :D Who doesn't?

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Please, leave me a review after having read this chapter and enjoy!

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 **Chapter 13 : Broken soul**

After a few hours, the time for Dr. Bennett to start a new shift, the latte allowed logically some stretching in the hallway. He added that it would be a benefit for his patient, and even encouraged him to go out in the park if he wished to. The only condition was to stay in the hallway with someone the time the oxygen therapy was used and the treatment was still effective, he could also go to the park in a wheelchair to not exhaust Matt and his still fragile body. Indeed, he absolutely had to continue the two therapies to fight the infection, and above all, he still have to gain strength. It was important even. He just had to inform one of the nurses, either Serena or Sonia, in order to organize these trips in the corridors or in the park; carrying the oxygen tank and all the IVs was a real challenge, even for Kelly by his side. The wired shouldn't twist, the oxygen tank and the humidifier should be easily transportable, which could be the case with the presence of two people. With Serena, Matt panned a first outing in the hallway just before lunch. For now, he didn't want to go in the park, scared to face the gaze of others. He was still too sick to get out in front of everyone according to him, especially if attached to several IVs, the NG tube, the catheter and the nasal canula. It was far from ideal, but Kelly and the nurse understood his legitimate point of view; Matt didn't yet have the courage to come out and Serena then had an idea she decided to keep secret until the outing. She revealed nothing, even after having seen the suppliant gaze of Kelly, which made Matt smile a bit. A few hours passed during which he rested while Kelly took a shower right newt to him and changed. Serena reappeared in the room at eleven, bringing a wheelchair with her.

"Are you ready?"

Matt nodded, rather anxious for his first time out of the room since his admission four day ago. Well… He literally already stepped out a bit, on the threshold of the door, but in view of his condition at the time, it didn't count.

"The nurse…", Matt whispered.

"What?"

Kelly and Serena knew he said something, but they didn't understand.

"The nurse", he repeated louder. "He's okay?"

Of course, he was talking about Nathan, the one he punched in a moment of panic.

"He, uh… He has a nasty bruise, but he's okay. Don't worry, he'll see worse."

It only relieved Matt a little. It wasn't in his habit to hit someone, even less when he was from the medical staff on duty.

"Hey, Matt?"

He turned his head towards Kelly, his gaze filled with guilt.

"This is nothing. You weren't yourself yesterday. He already forgot, everyone did."

Somehow reassured, Matt nodded again and took a deep breath. With Kelly's help, he straightened and swung his legs out of the bed before putting them on the cold floor. He immediately withdrew them, the sensation he had at the time was particularly unpleasant and made him think back to this wet and stained place he was a prisoner for several days. Friendly, Kelly took out of the bag of clothes he had brought a pair of socks and put them on his feet, taking great care to the bandages around his ankles.

"How long… Did I stay there?"

While Serena was still preparing everything with the wheelchair, Kelly stopped abruptly and planted his gaze on Matt. He didn't want to lie to him, but he couldn't hide the truth either.

"About four days", he admitted.

At this moment, Kelly finally understood that for his best friend, time completely stopped the time of his detention. With the slight light he had, he had no contact with the outside world, his biological clock and his conception of time got unbalanced. In addition to the infection he had contracted, it didn't arranged things.

"And…. You saw everything?"

"A part of it. Not everything, but I know enough to be happy to know everyone buried."

"Trish?"

"She led us to you. You… You would be dead if she hadn't escaped and if she hadn't told everything to the police."

Suddenly, something came in Kelly's mind. Something Matt and him never talked about obviously, but he hit him.

"Hold on… How did you know that… That Trish was there too?"

At the question, Matt looked away, avoiding Kelly. He clenched his fists, swallowing hard.

"We… Met."

Kelly soon understood; he knew she was there. And in view of his behavior, it could only say one thing Trish had been used to reach his best friend, and it wasn't with a simple discussion. It had been more intimate than that. These bastards used Trish as a prostitute offering her services to a man who wanted to satisfy his needs. It was filthy, disgusting. How men could do this? Was it the Hell of human trafficking or just this one ? Kelly had no right to go further, he had to respect the silence of Matt above all. But the latter had to understand what happened to him, especially put words on it. He had to tell what happened down there, sooner or later, he would face this. But today wasn't the right time; it was time to get out of this room, it was the most important thing at the time.

"We get out of here or not?"

Turning back his head towards Kelly, Matt easily understood from his eyes that he had guessed everything; how he met Trish. And he was shared between disgust to know that the one he considered as a brother knew what he had suffered in almost every detail, and relief to see that he didn't wish to have more information, that he respected his silence.

"Okay."

Seeing that he was ready, Serena helped Kelly to support Matt for his first steps. These past few days without really eating and not moving had weakened him badly. He last lost muscle tone because he could no longer maintain his fitness and he was still weakened by his fight against the infection, a duel he seemed to win so far. His legs were trembling slightly, his body was battered and tired. But what he didn't understand was the fact that yesterday, he could easily stand on his feet and he had been ready to run away he needed, but now, only three steps and he was exhausted. He showed his frustration with a loud sigh.

"It is all normal to feel exhausted", Serena assured with a smile. "Your body… Faced a significant trauma, and he had to recover. It will surely take a few more days."

"But… Yesterday…"

"You weren't in your normal shape, you've been surprised by Nathan and the adrenaline flowing in your veins wrecked all your senses", the nurse tired to explain.

Matt quickly guessed that this famous Nathan was the name of the nurse he punched the day before, but nodded understanding what had happened. After an excess of adrenaline, the body no longer respond to pain and is reinforced. He was used to this as a firefighter, and everyone used this amount of adrenaline to save people instead of running out.

"Do you feel able to take a few steps in the hallway?"

Despite the evident exhaustion Matt wanted to continue. He was tired of being locked in the cage walled a hospital room, it made him claustrophobic. Every day, he thought back to his days in Hell, and getting out could bring him the freshness and freedom he so needed. So, he nodded, using Kelly's left arm to stay up, Serena on his left. As his left arm was still in a sling for about one to two weeks, it was hard to move, but with time, he would get there. Once in the corridor, he let out a strong sigh of relief he was holding since his awakening about three days ago.

"I… Stop."

Matt couldn't stand on his legs any longer, he hadn't yet regained full strength, it was obvious. The nurse helped him to sit in the wheelchair, taking great care to position him so that he couldn't suffer from his back and arm. His physic prevented him to walk properly, but the pain he felt while on his feet was too much to bear, whether it came from his back of ankles. The injuries were still too recent for him to be able to walk without any pain.

"It's okay Matt. You can try later again, today or tomorrow. You'll get better with time, and in a couple days, you'll be able to walk longer on your own, and you won't probably have the canula, nor the Foley and this NG tube."

Matt shut his eyes, calming his frustration inwardly by telling himself that everything was normal, that his body had to get used to it again, to do exercises he had forgotten. But how he could have forgotten in only a week?

"Matt? If you want to, I have a surprise for you."

"Yeah?"

"Mh. I didn't want to tell anything until now because I didn't know whether or not you would say yes. But as you don't want to go to the park for now, I thought that going on the roof to… To enjoy the sun could be a good idea?"

The sun. Matt didn't see it for too long. He could suffer all the pain due to his condition, he wouldn't miss this.

"I… Would kill to get some fresh air and see the sun."

Kelly smiled, Serena as well. That was what she wanted to hear, but she didn't want to impose anything to Matt. He had to make his own choice, she had to let him say yes or no, especially after what happened to him. The nursing staff knew just the minimum about this, they only knew what was in his medical records, which was not much. But according to what she heard this the room, Kelly knew exactly what happened to Matt, while she, his almost personal nurse, barely knew something about her patient. With Matt's agreement, they headed to the elevator to go up to the roof; the advantage of such a hospital was that there was a chopper base on the roof, so the elevator was planned for stretcher standards. Thirty seconds in the elevator almost were the longest Matt had to face. He felt oppressed, his chest seemed locked and his breathing was more and more difficult as time passed. Once the doors opened, he felt much better, although blinded by the light. Kelly wheeled the chair in which Matt was and he had to get used to the sun light. The wind rose slightly, touching Matt's still bruised skin, who let out a grunt of pure pleasure while keeping his eyes closed. He missed all this, and he felt so good. They remained still for about ten minutes, until the wind became a problem for Matt. Chills were beginning to go through his body, and it wasn't the right time to get sick. He said nothing when Kelly and Serena forced him to come back into his room, even if deep down he wished to have stayed a little longer on the roof. He felt so great, but he understood that his current state didn't allow him to enjoy the sun if there was this cold wind. Sonia replaced Serena for her shift and proposed some soup to Matt, based on what her predecessor told her about their favourite patient. Reluctantly, Matt tried to eat the soup, or rather broth. After what happened in the morning, he was scared to again soil his clean sheets. But against all odds, he had no nausea and no stomach cramps, which relieved him as well as Kelly, who accompanied him with a simple ham sandwich from a vending machine. The two men then allowed themselves to take an hour nap, before being woken up by Kelly's phone. Someone had sent him a text and it was urgent: this someone wanted to see Matt and should be in the room within five minutes.

"Someone would like to see you", Kelly broke the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. This person is waiting in the hallway."

"Oh."

Even if Matt didn't feel able to meet somebody, not yet at least, he couldn't let this person wanting to see him in the corridor and let the disappointment gnaw him or her.

"Okay."

Kelly nodded, sending back a text to this person. After two long minutes, and finally there was a knock at the door. A young woman with brown hair and brown eyes appeared. She stopped her race by seeing the man in the bed, his face still battered but much less that she had seen so far. Kelly wouldn't tell Matt that it was gabby who sent him this text, scared that he would refuse to see her after what had happened in the rotten cage. He wanted to two lovers to find back each other, even a little. Matt then turned his head, seeing the woman standing in front of the door of the room, without moving. She had a giant smile on his lips and she was probably ready to jump on his neck.

"Matt."

Casey locked his gaze on Gabby, his body froze, his breathing stopped, his heart beat stronger and stronger. All the memories he had started to suppress resurfaced, all the torture he had suffered came back to haunt him. Images succeeded one another in his head; these men hitting him, humiliating him, abusing him. He had offered himself to them in the hope of holding on long enough until help could arrive, he had deliberately agreed to be their little thing in order to protect his family. To protect HER, to keep the one she loved alive. He had suffered for her, so much that at the end, he had wished to end this Hell, but he never had the physical strength to pull on his arms and legs and push the barbed wires deeper into his flesh. And they had continued, over and over again, until he possibly admitted where this damn notebook was, but he didn't know anything. He had explained to Oleg that Katya had hidden it in the club by supposition, but he wasn't sure about anything. And even if she really did hid it in her workplace, it was impossible for him to say where it was because she never had time to tell him. The shot fired on Katya, which killed her, resounded in his head, causing him to jump as Kelly placed his right hand on Matt's shoulder. His gaze turned from Gabby to fit into that of his best friend, humidity began to rise from his womb to the edge of his eyes. He so let out a cry, regaining control of his erratic breathing as the same time. Kelly could feel through his hand on his shoulder that Matt was trembling like a leaf. He didn't really understand why, but he had perfectly guessed that the trigger of his actual behavior was the presence of Gabby next to him, the one he loved more than anything in the world. He was missing a piece of the puzzle: he knew what had happened in that cage, what Oleg and his men had done to him, he had seen a big part of it, but what had happened in that head of Matt during these four days in Hell?

This touching and heartbreaking scene was too much for Gabby. She had idealized her reunion with her behalf; he had believed that Matt would be more than happy to see her again after what he had gone through. But it wasn't the case; her presence was only reinforcing his pain. She couldn't inflict this to him, not after what had happened these past few days. She couldn't impose this to herself either. She couldn't even tell him that he was going to be a father in the coming months; it wasn't the right time, far from it. After several intense and emotional minutes, Gabby took a step back.

"I… I shouldn't have come. Sorry."

She turned her back to the two men, hurrying to get out of the room before Kelly could react, then she started running to her car with tears in her eyes. She sat down at the wheel, crying even more, imagining again this moment she had turned over several days in intense moment of happiness. She hadn't expected that. Remembering what Kelly had told her several days ago; that Matt didn't say anything to protect her, something he had said hypothetically, tears flowed even more, invading her face and falling on her jeans and on the wheel. She was sure of this: now, Matt hated her.


	15. No better proof

Hello everyone! As you can see, I kept my promise and I update more often than previously. BUT, I will start working within the end of this month, so I will have less time to write down what I want to give you (that's sad).

However, I will do my best to still write some chapters here and there, especially for "Taken hostage" and this story.

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 **1chicagoswe:** I'm also glad to see Kelly here for Matt when needed ^^ And thank you for all your compliment

 **GUEST:** I will update as soon as I can, but with a job, you can guess that it's hard to do so

 **chicago lover:** Thank you so much for telling me this ^^ Hope you will like this one as well

 **loveagoodstory101:** Sorry to disappoint you, but you will see Gabby even more now :D Even though Kelly will remain next to Matt

 **MISSTV:** Thank YOU I must say :D

 **namine redfield:** Indeed, Matt starts to feel better, BUT he still needs to do some things he doesn't want to for now

 **Edelmira Gil:** I'm glad you like it ^

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Please, leave me a review (as usual) after having read this chapter :D

And thank you ^^

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 **Chapter 14: No better proof**

Gabby came back in the apartment in tears, her eyes red and swollen. She didn't even dare to cook something; she headed for her room and sank heavily into her blankets. The smell of her man was impregnated on them, and although it usually soothed her, now it made her cry even more. What happened in this hospital room hadn't been planned at all. She wished him to be happy to see her, to know him wanting to hold her in his arms and tell himself that everything was real, that she was really here and that everything was all over now. But this moment had been ruined but what he had lived through during four days. He was distant, suspicious, terrified. It wasn't Matt, HER Matt. It was not the father of the child she was carrying and she began to know. Did he feel her grief? Could he feel this knot his mother had and made her sick? Was he even able to understand what was happening… Even though this sadness quickly turned into an intense headache, she continued to pour out her tears on her pillow. Matt hated her; there was no doubt. How could it be otherwise? He had frozen on seeing her, he had begun to weep when he rediscovered her, and he started shivering at her first steps in the room. What had been done to him to deny his love for her?

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In the hospital room, Kelly hadn't wanted to leave Matt after what had just happened the previous hour. It was out of the question to leave him in such an emotional state. But he also wanted to join Gabby and comfort her. Deep down, he feared that she hadn't called Sylvie or Herrmann, but she had come back in the apartment, rushing into the blankets to cry like never before. He knew that woman too well. Even more now that she was pregnant with Matt. Damn, she wanted to tell him that he was going to be a father so that he would feel better, that he would be connected again with reality, it was vain now. And it wasn't up to him to tell him, it was Gabby. But what puzzled him even more was the reaction Matt had had in seeing her. Even though he suspected that he had been physically, morally and sexually assaulted by wishing to protect her, he would never have thought his best friend would behave like that.

"You should come home."

This sudden word startled him, not expecting a word from Matt after an hour of intense silence.

"What about you?" he said as if nothing had happened.

Maybe Matt needed to see that despite everything that could happen to him, he wanted normality? To act as if nothing ever happened?

"I am fine, you should go."

"You are fine, huh? I'm not in a hospital bed."

Matt raised his head, crossing Kelly's gaze and glaring at him.

"Sorry", Kelly soon said, regretting his words.

Matt knew he didn't say that in a wrong way. He only wanted to say that in view of the situation, he shouldn't say 'I am fine'.

"I disappointed her."

Soon, Kelly noticed who he was talking about in saying that.

"What? No!" he shouted, startling Matt.

It wasn't in his habits to raise his voice, but he did. He wanted to apologize again, but Matt visibly forgave him, seeing that this wasn't what he wanted.

"She… Ran away", Matt mumbled.

"It's my fault, Matt. I… I thought it would be good for you to have her at your side."

He knew too well that his best friend wanted nothing but good, it was obvious. But with all those memories often coming back, it was not the right time, far from it.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Matt nodded, still shocked by his own behavior towards the one she loved.

"Why... Have you reacted this way?"

A long silence settled, implying that it was a very sensitive subject for Casey. It was still too recent for him to be able to talk about it properly. Discreetly, but noticed by Kelly, he squeezed the blankets, trying to keep control of his breathing while avoiding his body from shivering. But it was impossible. Just thinking back to these abominable Bulgarians made him fragile. However, he had to begin to overcome this shocking event, to put words on it, to understand and accept help, especially from his friends. So, he swallowed his saliva and took a deep breath, still avoiding Kelly's gaze. He didn't want to see his look, without really knowing why. Maybe he didn't want to see his sorry look? Or his compassion? He didn't need this; what he wanted was to have a friend to confide in, to whom he could tell everything without being ashamed of what had happened.

"When… When Trish and me…"

Matt couldn't put words on it. He could see the whole scene passing over again before his eyes, but how he could explain it? Moreover his best friend, his brother? But he was tired of running away. He had to be strong, he had to finally put words. Because it was all over; because these guys were all buried. He took another deep breath and made the greatest effort to put words to what had been done to him.

"When Trish had been forced to… To give me pleasure… I… Wanted to think about something nice. You know? The only thing that came in mind at the time… It was those moments with Gabby. Being with her, it's… It's something that made me happy, it was… Pleasant. But I was with Trish. You understand now?"

Kelly did nothing, petrified by what he had just heard. Not that he feared what had happened, he had guessed it in broad outline, but finally understanding what Matt had gone through in deciphering his own feelings at that precise moment... It was much further than anything he could have imagined.

"I… I've felt pleasure with another woman! I… I've sort of slept with another woman! I cheated on Gabby, and… And I can't face her knowing that in my darkest moments, my only thoughts were for her! I have thought about her all the time wanting to protect her, but also me from all this! I. CHEATED. ON. HER!"

Matt got upset. There was so much anger in his last words that Kelly didn't know what to say. He just stayed there, his mouse wide open, shocked by what he had just heard. He refrained from shedding a few tears trying to imagine himself in his brother's place, but only a few seconds and the situation was unbearable. After several seconds, he managed to pull himself together and explain his own point of view on what he had just explained.

"Matt… You didn't cheat on Gabby. You've been forced to do so. That's not cheating, you know it. You know exactly how we call this."

Of course, he knew, but it was out of the question for now to say this precise word. Kelly was right, but for Matt, who had lived through these shameful moments, he didn't see it like this. Casey calmed down, understanding that his behavior had no place to be. It had no right to argue with his brother who almost never left his side, who was there for him when he could have run away by learning what he had experienced.

"Sorry", Casey came to say. "I shouldn't have talked to you like this."

"It's nothing, I promise. You have a lot going on."

"I am tired, you should come home. Gabby must be pissed."

"Are you sure that…"

"It's gonna be fine, I promise."

Kelly sighed, finally accepting to leave, at Matt's request. Maybe he needed to be alone after what he had confessed? To take stock? Or maybe he wanted him to be with Gabby while he couldn't yet?

"I'll leave you until tomorrow then. And be wise with the nurses", he joked, making Matt smile.

"I will not bite them", he replied, placing for the first time his look at his best friend in more than an hour.

This made Kelly glad in one sense, but a slight anxiety came over him as he walked through the door and closed it behind him. What if Matt had a new panic attack like the day before when he wasn't present? What if he unconsciously hurt another nurse? Was he going to eat again the soup Sonia and Serena were preparing him or that moment would turn into a nightmare? No, he had to stop thinking about it and believe in Matt. He had to trust him, as he did all the time. He was not going to have any problems, and if that happened, they would call him. Now, he had to focus on Gabby. Arrived at his car, he rushed inside and left his parking slot to the apartment. Once arrived, he inserted the key into the lock and turned the handle. The place seemed calm, almost unliveable. He stepped forward, putting down his leather jacket he never parted on the chair. His eyes could only hang on the floor, where Gabby had found Katya's body. And suddenly he heard a sob; someone was crying. He let himself be guided by these tears, towards the room of Matt and Gabby. The door was open, she was on her belly, weeping in the blankets.

"Gabby?"

She didn't move, she kept crying as if she hadn't heard him. He approached, sitting next to her on the bed, startling her. She really hadn't heard him. She finally raised her head, seeing that it was Kelly. She immediately felt sorry, trying to wipe her tears.

"He hates me. Matt hates me", she whispered between two sobs.

After having had Matt's point of view, it was time to have that of Gabby. She seemed to feel betrayed, humiliated by the behavior of her behalf. And Kelly could understand her feeling, even if he knew how Matt felt after this moment. He took her in his arms, trying to sort through his head on how to explain to Gabby what Matt really felt despite his behaviour. She had to realize that the man she knew by heart had suffered a lot to protect her.

"He doesn't hate you, Gabby. On the contrary: it is because he loves you to madness that he has acted so."

"He loves me?!" She exclaimed, separating from Kelly. "He stared at me! He started crying when he saw me! He was sad! And you want me to believe he loves me!"

Seeing that she was arguing with one of her best friends, she closed her eyes and sighed, wiping again the tears running down her cheeks as Kelly took her in his arms again.

"Do you really think he doesn't? Do you really think that... That in those moments when these bastards tortured him, he has never had a thought for you to endure this suffering? This humiliation? If we could have these videos without stamps, it means that they came to drop them directly to the firehouse, that these sons of bitches could have reached us if they wanted to."

Thinking even more, Kelly noticed something odd: why did they only drop the videos at the firehouse? This meant that they had been followed despite the police protecting them, but also that if they had really wanted to, they could very well have killed them or made them suffer the same as Matt. And if this never happened, it indicated that something behind the scenes had taken place, something that had kept them from taking action. He had a theory, but it seemed so unlikely, according to him.

"I think that Matt had a deal with these guys, and that he was trying to gain time to be found. I think this pact was that Matt had to indicate where the notebook was, and in return, Oleg shouldn't hurt anyone in his family. And if this theory turns out to be true, it means that he didn't really think about his family, but about you."

Gabby separated from Kelly again, meeting his gaze with a questioning look. Was it true, or a simple theory of Kelly?

"He hasn't stopped thinking about you, and that's why when he saw you, he thought back to all the difficult moments he has gone through protecting you. He was happy to see you, but the circumstances tricked him."

A silence settled for a few seconds, letting the two friends accept the warmth of the other to comfort each other.

"He has preferred to suffer rather than seeing you suffer. And I think there's no greater proof of his love for you."


	16. The three words I fear the most

Hey there ^^ As promised, I update this story after a long time of waiting!

I barely have time to write something, but I do my best to give you something to read. I swear that I will do everything to update "Stay alive", "Taken hostage" and "Face it together" as soon as possible, even though it'll be hard for me ^^

I really hope you will what I have done with this chapter (even if it took me three months of work _yeah, you read this well: three months lol_)

* * *

 **The three words I fear the most**

For the three following days, the current state of Matt gradually and constantly improved. Although his fever was totally gone now, Dr. Bennett wanted to continue his treatment intravenously for a few more days, the time of his leucocytes to come down below the critical rate. With the help of Sonia, Serena and Kelly, he slowly regained strength thanks to the liquid or mashed food. The soup lovely prepared by Serena seemed so good to him that he always asked for another bowl. And even though it was still hard for him with the mashed potatoes or mashed meat, his doctor authorized the retreat of the nasogastric tube, for the great relief of Matt. Since two days, his back was no longer infected and some cracks appeared, replacing the deep lacerations and the wounds around his joints started their healing process. Matt was getting better every day despite some panic attack along the night. Until Kelly had to announce that Antonio had to take his statement. At this precise moment, he locked himself in his inside world, away from everything and everyone. It lasted a couple hours, the time to process. He had guessed that Kelly did everything in his power to reschedule this moment, but now, he couldn't wait any longer. Weirdly, Matt remembered something from the ambulance, when he had opened his eyes to see the face of Antonio, but he had thought of hallucinating. Today, he had understood that what he thought a dream had been the reality: Antonio did save him, he helped him during his panic in the ambulance. He so confessed to his best friend, at least to know whether what he had heard or seen was true or not. He got told that the voice inside his heard for a while was his imagination, but what he had been through was only the truth. At two in the afternoon, Kelly's phone rang.

"Antonio?" Matt asked, fearing this moment.

"Yeah. He's finding a parking slot."

Matt discreetly nodded, swallowing hard and frowning lightly. He was anxious, scared, and Kelly saw this immediately.

"Matt. I know this is hard for you to... To tell what you had suffered, but..."

"I have no choice", Matt cut. "I know."

He looked down, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I... I just want to forget all this, but... But I can't."

Kelly understood what his brother in heart meant: the trauma he had suffered was so big that he couldn't help himself but think about this all the time and it wasn't good, although normal. After all, he had been freed just a week ago, barely five days he had regained his lucidity. All this was still too recent for hum to forget, for him to manage to put this in a box inside his head and throw it far, as he often did these past few years.

"Putting words on this, and... And explain what happened, this is a good start to turn the corner, isn't it? It'll take time, but we'll get there. You will get there", Kelly announced, insisting on 'you'.

After some long and endless seconds, Matt nodded lightly again. He knew that sooner or later, police officers would come to have his statement, but he didn't want to think about it. And the fact that he felt that deep down, Kelly had done everything to delay this moment encouraged him to believe his words blindly.

"I won't be far, but I leave you alone with Antonio. You'll be alright?"

Still without a word, Matt nodded again. Kelly got up, explaining to his friend once again that everything would be alright after this statement, after having said out loud what he had in his heart and his mind. Finally, he got out of the room for the first time of the day to greet Antonio next to the door.

"Kelly."

"Antonio."

"How is he?"

"Better, but I have to warn you: all this thing is still deeply rooted in him. You might face someone quite violent if you push him too hard."

"I get it, trust me. But if we don't have his statement immediately, we will have no choice but to release Nesbitt. We have nothing. He will be as free as a bird, and it's out of the question to let him go like this."

Kelly hadn't thought about this by delaying this fateful moment as much as possible.

"I... Thought you had him."

"Not really. For now, it is only presumptions, and we have only Trish's words against his own. With Matt's statement, he could be charged with murder, human trafficking, procuring, threatening lives, and all."

"I see. I leave you alone with Matt. I don't think he will talk to you if I'm around."

"Fine, I call you as soon as it's over."

Kelly then left Antonio near the door of the hospital room in which Matt had been admitted, and left for the cafeteria to take a break. It had been a week he was watching Matt twenty-four hours a day and it was exhausting for the body not to close the eyes for the entire night or the day, fearing of seeing his best friend in full panic attack. It had even become an obsession. Generously, the nurses had given Kelly a magnetic card in order to have an access to the restroom in case he needed a quiet time to rest properly, what he needed right now. He was a little anxious about the fact that Matt could have one of these panic attacks during his statement, although Antonio explained to him the day before that if he would see that he was reaching a breaking point, he wouldn't go any further. The latter knocked at the door of the room, then entered inside after having the green light of his brother-in-law. It was the first time he had seen him since their rodeo in the ambulance. Of course, he had seen him with all his injuries and in the videos, but that wasn't worth a physical contact. According to him, Matt had recovered most of his colors and much of his former physical strength, but his face and body remained marked by these events.

"Hello Matt."

"Hey", Matt said, not looking at Antonio.

Matt was already feeling uncomfortable. He was afraid that his brother-in-law would look at him differently after that, and especially that he would tell Gabby about it all. He knew, thanks to Kelly, that she had been deeply affected by what he had endured, and shocked by his behavior towards her when he had seen her three days earlier. He had apologized many times to Kelly, but Gabby hadn't come back to see him since. That made him sad, but he understood the fact that she needed time for the whole situation. Especially because he didn't know yet for the baby, which was going to be an even more violent shock to incorporate according to Kelly.

"You seem to be better than the last time I saw you."

"According to the doctor, I should stay a few more days in here."

Wanting to think positively, he immediately closed his eyes, thinking of Katya and the shot that had killed him. The strident sound that accompanied him came back to haunt him as on the first day under the eyes of Antonio, who didn't understand why Matt began to jump in stride. But he said nothing, reading the face of the man who wanted to become his little sister's husband. He could see fear, stress, a hint of panic. He soon realized that Matt had been dreading this moment for some time now. He stepped forward, taking a seat on the chair Kelly had occupied until now.

"I know that this is something you won't like, far from it, but... I have to take your statement about... About the recent events."

"I know. Kelly told me."

Matt's tone was not cold, but distant, as if he wished to avoid this conversation, which was obviously logical. Talking about what he had suffered with someone he knew too well, who is the big brother of the woman he loved, it was something that no one wanted to undergo. After sitting comfortably, Antonio gently took a recorder out of his pocket and placed it on the covers near Matt, in order to record their conversation. Slightly, Matt looked away and took a deep breath while nervously swallowing.

"First of all, Can you explain what happened in the apartment. Try to think about all the details."

A brief silence settled before Matt started talking.

"I was making dinner, and... Someone knocked. It was Katya, and... And she was like... Like in panic."

Plunging his mind back at that moment, he remembered the words exchanged, the impressions and emotions that had passed through him when she spoke to him about the club and knowing about him and the police.

"She said she knew I was working for the police and..."

Matt stopped, repressing this first moment that he didn't want to relive in its entirety. The death of Katya, when he had affixed his hand to her wound and when Oleg aimed at the back of his skull his gun was something traumatic for him.

"She said she wanted to help me and... And she had a notebook where she had written down everything that was going on in the strip club."

"Everything?" Dawson interrupted. "You mean the traffic and everything we have suspected?"

As an answer, Matt nodded before verbally confirm the information.

"It was at this moment that they entered my apartment."

"Who are they?"

"Oleg and Nesbitt."

"What did they want?"

"They wanted Katya's notebook. But she didn't tell anything and..."

"And they shot her."

"Yeah...", Matt confirmed while closing his eyes, the shot fired still resonating inside his head.

All he could see was Katya's blood flooding his hand while he was trying to save her.

"They both had a gun?"

"No. No, just Oleg. Nesbitt remained motionless, but he was there. And he did nothing."

"Okay. What happened next?"

"I... I don't remember well to tell the truth. I think that... Oleg and I had fought, and he won. After that, it's a black hole until waking up."

Antonio stopped for a few seconds, allowing Matt to regain his spirits and move on to something even more difficult for him.

"What happened there?"

"Uh..."

Thinking back to this, the images overwhelmed him. He had been told that he would never live this again in his life, but everything had been lies. He was thinking back to that moment all the time, every second that passed. It even became torture of any moment. Antonio immediately noticed the change on his brother-in-law's face and what it meant. He wanted to ask too many questions, but he had no other alternative; he needed answers and quickly. Kelly had already pushed back this fateful moment for days, but now that Matt was physically better...

"Matt?"

The latter turned his head towards Antonio, then looked down. He was ashamed.

"When I woke up, I was... I was attached. The least movement hurt. Oleg entered and... He told me that it was barbed wire."

"What did he want?"

"Katya's notebook."

"Do you know where it is?"

Matt closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before shaking his head negatively.

"Didn't say anything, not a word."

Intrigued, Antonio raised an eyebrow, giving Matt the time to understand his unasked question.

"I thought that... That if I told him that I didn't know anything, I would be dead."

The cop understood: Matt had only been found alive because he had preferred to not say a word rather than admitting that Katya never had the time to tell him everything. It was smart, but highly dangerous: suffering such a torture without telling everything, it took a lot of gall and you must be strong both physically and mentally for that. Without knowing it, Matt had achieved a feat that even the best didn't succeed in accomplishing. He didn't say anything, wishing that Matt could continue his story.

"This... This is when they made the first videos?"

"No... They made the first one later, an hour later I think? According to Oleg, he wanted to give me time to think. Two of his men attached me and.. I know you know what happened next."

"We know you know, but..."

"But you want to hear it from me", Matt interrupted.

He sighed as Antonio nodded slightly. From that moment on, Matt felt that he could have a potential panic attack, which frightened him without showing him.

"I... I don't know if... If I have the strength for that."

Neither of them spoke for several seconds before Matt resigned himself to continue. He then took a deep breath.

"Every day was the same ritual: when I was awakened by force, it was torture. They left me a few minutes or a few hours, and they tried another torture, and another, another again without stopping."

"One of the most common threats is the family. Did they try it?"

"Oleg told me that... If I didn't speak, he would go and see those I care about. I... I told him that if he touched one of them, he would never see the notebook again. I don't know what took me to tell him that, but at the moment, I thought that... I just reacted. I didn't want him to touch Gabby."

Antonio understood: it wasn't the fact of hurting his friends that had bothered him, it was the fact that he could assault Gabby, the woman he loved, his own sister. Matt had preferred to be tortured for nothing, over and over again, rather than hurt his wife. This was one of the greatest proofs of love existing: suffering to protect the beloved.

"Oleg promised me he wouldn't touch my friends or my family, nor approach them. But in return, I had to tell him where the notebook was."

"But you didn't know, so how did you do this?"

"I... Everything hurt, the slightest movement paralyzed me, but I had an ounce of lucidity. I figured that... That the best place to hide such a thing was to put them under their nose. I told him it was at the club."

Inwardly, Antonio smiled and almost started laughing hard imagining Oleg's face on this joke. Matt was an absolute genius, even sick like he was.

"I thought that by finding Katya, you would come at the club, and... And with that, Oleg wouldn't be able to find it before you leave the place."

"It was well-thought Matt. But we had checked everywhere at the club, all the hideout we have thought, and we have found nothing at all."

Matt sighed in despair; the club had been his best chance and he didn't have any else.

"I... I think they spoke Bulgarian between them, but... They talked about Nesbit I think. I think that it was... At least two days after Katya got killed."

"Yeah, Oleg had come to the District to pick him up. We had nothing against him. Did you see him?"

"Last time I saw him, it was in my apartment while Oleg killed Katya."

A silence settled, and Antonio understood easily that Matt was about to come to his limit. He had just one last question.

"How can you be so sure that two days had passed?"

"As I... I never had any care, the infection started spreading. And it needs at least two days to settle. And..."

Suddenly, Matt spotted and started catching his blanket more. His breathing became faster. It wasn't hard for Antonio to guess that something had happened at this moment, something that traumatized him deeply. Maybe it was at this precise moment Oleg came with another awful and shameful torture?

"I saw Trish", Matt managed to whisper, trembling from head to toes.

The cop remembered the statement from Trish. It was that day, the one when she and her boyfriend had decided that it was time to run away and save Matt. The latter lived again this moment like he was still there: a small and oppressing room with an awful smell, in which he had been tortured, from the most painful one to the most shameful.

"Matt?"

But he didn't react, he remained there, hardly breathing, trembling from head to toes like never someone saw him before. It was a rare spectacle surprising to watch. In a generous gesture, Antonio cut the recorder and put it in his pocket before placing his hand on his brother-in-law's right shoulder; a mistake he quickly regretted. This touch awoke in Matt some painful memories from this moment he wished to forget at all cost. And even before Antonio could react, Matt already had his left fist on the face of the cop. The two men got out of this with a huge pain, Antonio on his nose and Matt on his still hurt shoulder. But he didn't stop there, quite the contrary; while Antonio remained motionless, petrified, Matt used this to come at the man in front of him. Antonio barely had time to push the emergency button he got on his back with Matt above him, a fish filled with rage. But the cop didn't move, he let it go; he had triggered what Kelly feared the most. A full panic attack. He was ready to get hit if he could ease the pain inside Matt, even a little. But Matt didn't move either, as if he wished to punch but he had kept some control; he was hesitating. His eyes and his body said everything. A nurse came into the room, and even if Antonio didn't know her, he could see on her face that she wasn't scared. In general, when someone was seeing something like this, he would start screaming or having a gasp blocked in his throat with a step back, but not here. This nurse seemed used to this situation. She approached slowly the two men, calling several time Matt before placing her own hand on his shoulders. He turned then his gaze on Serena while keeping his fist squeezes and up.

"Everything is alright, you are safe", she announced with a slight smile, astonishing Antonio.

After several endless seconds, Matt's fist lowered and his fingers loosened, his breathing became more controlled, his heart beat slower. When the adrenaline faded from his body, his body swung backward, continuing to look at Antonio, who was holding his bloody nose. Realizing what he had just done, his eyes flushed and riveted on his brother-in-law in front of him. He could not believe he had done such a thing. He had just faced one of the most horrible images he had ever faced, and it had fallen on Antonio. This man, whose name he didn't know and who had tortured him in a more than one shameful way, had come back to haunt him. This face reminded him of all the feelings and sensations he was trying to repress: shame, disgust, fear. He had done this for hours, making him sick to speak, but he was too weak to utter a single word. Sometimes joined by the henchmen of Oleg, sometimes Oleg himself. He had faced many dangerous situations and death itself, but at that time, everything he had learned with years and experience had served no purpose at all. It had been a simple ball of modeling clay, a toy. A thing that couldn't defend itself or speak. On the face in front of him, he could read the fear and surprise. Turning his head, he caught sight of Serena again, just as surprised as she seemed slightly frightened. He frightened those around him. Ashamed, he stood up without a word, he started staggering toward the exit before he began to walk faster and then run. Antonio, still in shock and with a blood-stained nose, got up in turn, wishing to go looking for him, but was interrupted by the nurse.

"But...", the cop tried.

"He needs to calm down on his own, and time to assimilate what he has just done, trust me", Serena explained. "He went to the roof."

"To the... Are you out of your damn mind?! Alone of the roof, seriously?!" Antonio screamed. "What if he jumps, huh?!"

"If he really wants to do it, he could have done this a long time ago, don't you think?" she continued, keeping her calm. "Plus, there are people on the roof, he won't do it. He's just... Lost."

The nurse could hear the police officer sigh deeply. He seemed to understand the situation.

"You need care for your nose. It could be broken."

"I didn't feel it crack, and I know how to recognize a broken nose."

The nurse smiled slightly while approaching, delicately placing her fingers on the injured area. Antonio couldn't help but raise his hands on hers at the first pain. Apologizing, he removed them and decided to let the nurse do her job. After a few seconds, she continued to palpate to check for any injury.

"You are right, your nose doesn't seem broken, but you have to check this out by a doctor. Go down to the ER, I call Magie to warn her."

He didn't have time to disapprove; she was already on her pager. She made a sign for the cop to get down, and the latter did so. Once alone, she thought about something: Kelly. Maybe he could calm Matt once again? Serena was worried; Matt had made huge progress to control his panic attacks and his body, but... It was as if the image had been too hard to face, maybe one he didn't want to? Nothing was sure, but she had to find Kelly and warn him about what happened. She got up and got out of the room, heading to the cafeteria; she had seen him eating something and taking a break. He had explained to her that a cop was there to have his statement and know the whole story. She had feared that her patient could have a panic attack, although Kelly had assured her that it wouldn't be the case, that Matt had a total control of his body. He had been unfortunately wrong. Once on the main floor, she tried to spot Kelly in the middle of the crowd and found him after three minutes. She approached slowly, her heart tightening, the words seeming to lose their way to her mouth and lips while she was thinking about how to explain all this to him. And suddenly, without understanding why or how, he raised his head and saw the nurse, her eyes locked on him. He understood immediately that something bad happened. He stopped eating and got up, running on the nurse he grabbed by her shoulders without warning her.

"What happened?"

"I... I'm not sure", she admitted.

"Tell me", Kelly insisted, compassionate while seeing the psychological shock on Serena's face.

"He... He was above the cop and... He managed to control himself, but... He ran away on the roof."

Kelly sighed thinking about his friend. Still, he hadn't had a crisis for several days.

"Antonio is okay?"

"I sent him down to the ER. His nose had been hit quite violently."

"I guess he's blaming himself", Kelly said, talking about Matt.

"I think this is why he ran away. I also think that he has thought about something he never faced before, something from where he was. It should have been something terribly painful, or traumatic."

"Or both... You think about the..."

Kelly still couldn't say this word. It seemed so unreal.

"The sexual assault?" Serena ended.

He nodded slightly.

"Victims of rape are the first to want to forget what happened. And when a memory strikes you, it is as if he relived this moment in the smallest details. He maybe wanted to bring him back to reason by touching him, and..."

"And it could have triggered the panic attack", Kelly interrupted.

Serena nodded in turn.

"He needs and has to put words on this. Even if we have his medical file, we don't know all the details; how many they were, how much time it lasted, and all."

"I know", Kelly admitted. "It will be hard. Matt is this kind of guy who keeps everything for himself and tries to forget by putting the memory in a box."

"It's a compromise: either he remembers and he has to talk about it, or he forgets but he will never be the same."

Serena seemed to know what she was talking about by saying that.

"I will try."

They so headed to the stairs while Matt arrived on the roof. He had made a stop to the toilet in order to splash cold water on his face and regain his spirit. Three members of the hospital staff were there and turned around when they heard the door open abruptly. One of them recognized Matt: Nathan, the nurse he had punched a few days back. Their look crossed; Matt had recognized him too.

"Guys, break is over. I think it's time to go back to work."

The two colleagues didn't say anything, noticing a slight uneasiness which had arisen since the arrival of this patient. They executed, taking the direction of the entrance while passing Matt, who remained motionless. A few seconds later, it was Nathan's turn to walk past him and join his comrades. Once he had passed the door, he stopped, to the surprise of the two other nurses.

"What are you doing?" One of them asked.

"I... I'll stay here. At least the time he's alone", Nathan admitted, making his two companions laugh.

"You're completely sick! He knocked you out and you want to take a punch again!"

"If this can allow him not to commit something bad, then yes. I'm ready to get hit again. Call Serena, she maybe doesn't know that her patient is here."

Nathan seemed to be right; if Serena had known... But before anyone could reply, two people were seen on the stairs: Serena and Kelly. The latter recognized the nurse by the door, his eye always black from the big punch from Casey.

"Nathan."

"I... counted on watching him until your arrival", he assumed.

"Thank you, Nathan for thinking about his safety. You can go back to work now", she said calmly, smiling.

The three friends finally came down, leaving Kelly alone with Serena. Opening the door, they saw Matt, completely motionless in the middle of the roof. A gasp caught Kelly's throat. He turned to the nurse who nodded, telling him to continue on his way to his brother-in-law while she stayed behind. She would intervene only if necessary or if asked. The firefighter turned again, slowly moving forward to avoid frightening Matt and triggering a new crisis. He realized that Matt was ready to collapse. He saw his legs wobble, trembling as he had never seen him tremble. Was it because of the cold, the wind, fear or shock? He didn't know much, but the most important thing was to be there, near him when he needed someone. Arriving behind him, he caught Matt just as his strength left him and he collapsed to the ground.

"I got you, I'm here", he assured before Matt could say a word or panic. "I got you."

"Kelly..."

He always kept his emotions for him, but it wasn't the case anymore. He burst into tears for the second time in a few days. He put his head in Kelly's neck as if a child was trying to be comforted after he got hurt.

"Sorry..."

"You don't have to apologize, Matt. There is no shame in crying. I'll be there every time you need a shoulder to cry. Always."

As Matt continued to sob over him, Kelly listened to him talk. He was trying to put words on what he had seen when Antonio had pushed him too far.

"I saw him again..."

"Who?" Kelly asked, even though he had more or less guessed who it was. Or at least potential people.

"This man... He... He did things to me..."

It was only whispers, but Kelly was listening enough to understand what he was trying to say. He had, at last, understood who he was talking about; the man who had violated his intimacy, the one who had sexually tortured him. Fear and surprise seized him in hearing Matt's last three words before he truly burst into tears. Three words that reflected everything Matt had undergone and had to do to survive and save the woman he loved.

"He raped me."

At that moment the two men stood there, one weeping with tears after having confessed what had happened, finally putting the words on what he had undergone. The other tried to comfort him as best he could despite the shock.


	17. Comfort

Bonsoir bonsoir my dear readers! I know, I know... It's been a long time, and I am sorry but I was working on what you could literally call a "civic service" (creation, development and maintenance of educational permaculture gardens), so I've been very busy. As my mission is over, I can come back as a writer (I was reading a lot though). I am actually working on every story I have left for so long, and for now, here is the new chapter of 3TBU ^^

I hope you will like it, so please, leave me a review after your reading :D

* * *

 **CHAPTER 16: Comfort**

"I was raped."

These words echoed in his head. Kelly knew it from the day of his admission to the hospital, but hearing it from his best friend, his brother seemed so real now. It hit him hard, just like a slap he could have deserved for so long, like a bomb exploding in his face. It was unfair, unimaginable. Why something like this only happened to those who deserved it the least? He was angry, his eyes filled with hatred. Matt's trembling body was the only thing able to bring him back to reality. Having him near him was something helping him in keeping his head clear and not sinking into darkness or going crazy.

"Everything is okay, Matt. I am here, I am here…", he kept repeating in a whisper.

Still crying endlessly in the arms of his brother, he calmed down, hearing his reassuring words. It took time, but he felt appeased, as if freed from a weight.

"Kelly? Please, do not tell anyone… Yet", he asked the one who was comforting him.

"Whenever you're ready, Matt", he answered almost immediately.

"Can we… Can we stay a little longer?"

"Sure…"

He wanted to add something, he wished making him understand that with this cold wind despite the sun, he could become sick again, but in spite of his hesitation, he said no other word. What he wanted was to have his best friend in a serene state, in which he felt good and calm. He could do anything to protect and appease his bruised, damaged brother. It took ten minutes for Matt to regain his senses. Serena stood near the service door, petrified but ready to help Kelly anytime he needed it, but that wasn't the case. As the two friends approached her, she could see Matt's tired and swollen features, but above all how good that conversation with the most trusted person had been. She could also understand that Kelly was just as tired and damaged as his best friend. This mental symbiosis went further than she could have imagined. Verbally understanding what the other person was saying was already something, but feeling what he was feeling was on another level. Kelly could do that with Matt: he could feel his sadness, his distress, his anger, everything. And act accordingly to soothe him, to cheer him up. Once back in the room, Serena helped Matt to get back to bed, snuggling in the blankets to counter the cold that had invaded him for several minutes. She reconnected the ECG and as well as the two intravenous still providing the necessary antibiotics and the bag of fluids that he sometimes refused to consume. After that, the nurse left the two men alone, feeling that they needed some time on their own. On her way to the nurse's office, she bumped on the psychologist, Dr. Charles.

"Oh, good afternoon, Dr. Charles", she said, surprised.

"Good afternoon, Serena. I was on my way to see Matt. I heard from a reliable source that he had to testify today."

"I see. But unfortunately, right now is not a good time. I can't be disturbed."

"Something happened", he noticed after several seconds.

Within a sixth of a minute, he had analyzed the nurse's behavior and had broadly understood that something was wrong.

"Detective Dawson came."

She didn't go any further, she needed to explain without a word that she was in no right to explain the incident. But the shrink didn't need that; he understood everything.

"He had a panic attack, hadn't he?"

The nurse nodded slowly, looking down.

"He… He went to the roof, and… Let's say that he needed time to regain his spirits."

"Serena. I know that we are all trained to face and handle these kinds of situation. But I also know that all this is often a facade crackling every day a little more, and once broken, we can't go back from this. Therefore, I have to ask you one thing: are you okay?"

The physician seemed worried about the nurse, who took the time to formulate a satisfactory answer. She thought back to all that had happened in the last few days: Matt's admission, the positive test for rape, his medically induced coma, his difficult awakening, his fight against the infection. All this had revived in her violent memories that she would have wished not to remember again. She said nothing, she continued to suffer in silence, she preferred to smile and be there for those who needed it more than she did. She didn't want to talk about it because nobody at work knew the truth, or anything else. And she hoped it stayed that way. Then, with all her might, she smiled and cast her azure gaze into Dr. Charles's.

"Don't worry, doctor. I am perfectly fine."

As a psychologist, he knew how to distinguish real smiles from fake ones, and he quickly guessed that that smile was fake. She was lying to him. But he said nothing, feeling the tension that this meager conversation had generated. 'She probably didn't want to talk about it', Dr. Charles thought. The nurse continued on her way, returning to her position in the Intensive Care Nurse's office. The psychiatrist then agreed not to disturb his patient, turning back to leave the department and join his own office.

Inside the room, neither of the two friends dared to take the first step; the revelation on the roof had completely rendered them voiceless. Matt didn't dare take a look at Kelly, ashamed to have revealed this heavy secret. And Kelly didn't dare look because he felt he was going to crack soon. But he didn't have the right. Not in front of Matt. He had to stay strong. It was Matt who had endured all this, it was up to Matt to crack, to be angry, to feel bad. All this was probably too much to keep for him. Maybe Gabby would be better able to talk to him and help him overcome that? Maybe his unconditional love for her, and that child growing up in her, were the key to unlocking him? But deep down, what hurt him most was his own guilt.

"I am sorry."

Matt jumped in bed, surprised to hear Kelly's voice after a few minutes of silence.

"What? Why?"

"I should have gone back home earlier. I... I wanted to have one last drink, and... And I kept drinking and... And then Gabby called, she... She was so panicked and she asked me to go home."

After several seconds of silence, Matt took over from his best friend.

"She... She's the one who discovered Katya."

Kelly nodded. His look said a lot; he felt so guilty of everything that had happened to his brother.

"I should have gone back home earlier. If I stopped drinking and got home earlier..."

"I know what you're thinking about", Matt interrupted.

His friend still didn't dare raise his head. 'Why all this guilt?' Matt wondered.

"If you had come back earlier, Oleg would surely have killed you, like Katya. And it would have happened to me the same thing. Going back earlier would have changed something, but for worse."

For the first time, Kelly looked Matt in the eyes, the surprise reading in his.

"You wouldn't have been there for me. Nobody could have been able to control me. Or understand me as you do it for me."

Kelly understood where Matt was coming from: if he had come back home earlier, Matt would probably have had a much darker future.

"When I was... When I was there, the only thing that kept me alive was knowing that my family was safe and sound. You are my family, Kelly. If Oleg had killed you... I think... What's the purpose of being alive when one of the people you love the most is killed in front of you?"

Kelly was in shock. Not negatively, but those words coming out of Matt's mouth moved him. He did not expect that.

"You still have had Gabby", he tried to reason Matt.

Gabby was the love of his life, and yet ...

"It is not the same. To love your brother is not the same as to love your girlfriend or your wife. It's not the same love. When you lose your girlfriend, you can love a new one. But when you lose your brother, you can't replace him."

This statement was so warm for Kelly's heart, so much so that he had tears in his eyes. And he saw that Matt was also in the same situation. Both knew what the other had endured.

"I know Oleg was sending you videos to you and Gabby. And I know you watched them, just like Gabby and Voight's team too. And maybe all 51. I know what you went through, and... I could have chosen to talk."

"Matt, you didn't have a choice. If you had spoken, you would have been killed."

"That's the problem, Kelly. I didn't know anything. Katya was killed before she could tell me where the notebook was."

"You mean that... All this... No... No, you didn't have a choice, Matt. If you had told them the truth, that you didn't know anything, he would have killed you anyway. You had no choice but to make them believe you knew. And if you had told them, they probably wouldn't have hesitated to come greet us to know where this notebook was. You did this to protect us all, to protect yourself."

"But…"

"There is no 'but', Matt. You did what you had to do in that kind of situation, you did what you thought was right."

"That's where you're wrong! I thought only of myself!"

Kelly jumped in the chair, surprised by this sudden anger. He looked at him incredulously.

"I told myself that if I told them the truth, I was a dead man! I told myself that if I had known where this fucking diary was hidden and that I told them, I was a dead man! I told myself that if I told them that I knew but would not tell them anything, they would have continued to try to get this information, but at least I would have stayed alive! I thought only of myself!"

"I do not believe you."

Matt was silent, close to tears. How could his best friend not believe him after these revelations?

"You did not think about yourself. Inwardly, you knew that if you spoke, Gabby would have been alone. You knew these videos were going to hurt her, but it could also give the cops time to find you. You knew we were going to get you everywhere. You held out for love with your family. For love."

None of the two friends say anything, forbidden. Both knew who was right. Matt didn't really think what he was saying. He was lost. He had nearly lost everything, which was not the case, and it had triggered a new protection in him; thinking that he had thought only of himself. He sighed, realizing that he was wrong to think so. Of course, he did all this for love. Of course, he decided to endure all this because he loved his family. And especially Gabby. He himself didn't know why he had said totally the opposite. It was as if now, he was afraid to love.

"Go home. Get some rest. You need it."

"What about you? You'll be on your own."

"I think that… That we both need to take stock of what happened. Today and... And before."

Kelly understood his brother. He needed time to digest all this. Alone. And he too needed time. His brother had revealed so many things to him that he wished not to be true, or that he thought unreal. Both had to rebuild themselves. And above all, he needed a good shower, a good meal and a good night's sleep.

"Alright, I leave you alone. I... Do you want me to go back tomorrow?"

""Is... Would it be possible to see Gabby again? Please?"

This question surprised him even more.

"I think I behaved like an asshole during her... Her visit here."

"Of course. I'll talk to her as soon as I get home. Get some rest too. You look exhausted."

"And you look like a ghost yourself."

Kelly laughed and took this opportunity to take his leather jacket and leave the room. He walked past the nurse's office and explained to Serena that he was about to ask Gabby to come by and that if she accepted, he wouldn't come tomorrow. He then left the ICU and then the hospital. He entered his car, driving back to the house, the one in which Gabby was living again. She said it was because she needed it, but Kelly saw clear in her game. She needed it, certainly, but it was above all to get closer to Matt, to feel better and to have the baby in perfect health. He entered the house, taking off his jacket and putting it on the coat rack. Gabby, surprised, put her head out of the kitchen to see who it was.

"Kelly? Is that you? Are not you with Matt in the hospital?"

She came out of the kitchen, putting down the towel she was holding on a chair and approached him. Gabby could see his drawn features, his pale and almost sick face, as if he had not slept for days and days. And he had not eaten or drunk either.

"No, he wanted me to come home. I look like a ghost apparently!"

He chose the tone of humor even if he didn't have the heart to. But quickly, he took a serious face.

"Matt is wondering when he could see you again. He... he's mad at himself for behaving this way with you when you came to visit him."

"I remind him so many painful memories... I do not want to hurt him, I don't want him to remember all this just by seeing me."

"But if he asks for your presence, if he asks to see you, it's because he needs it, don't you think? And you need it too. You need him, you need your man. And that little bean needs his father too."

That little bean. Gabby was still struggling to realize that all this was real. She was really pregnant, she was really expecting a child from him. From the man she loved.

"Okay. I'll go see him", she said, running her hand over her belly. "You will be there?"

"I think that... that you both need to find each other. Together. Without me"

He smiled, taking Gaby in his arms to reassure her.

"Everything is gonna be alright."


End file.
